Thursday, September 12, 2013

40 Days to Better: Day 11

Today, I have not run yet.  However, I have been in a writing groove, and, I wanted to write before I run.  Plus, despite being almost mid-September, it is still pretty warm outside and I am not looking forward to today's run very much.  I will probably end up just doing about 5 relatively easy miles.  So it goes.

In any case, I want to write a brief post today.  Yesterday, I talked about surrounding myself with people who are committed to my pursuits.  And I finished with an explanation that the people who have been committed to helping me think about my personal life and the main issues in it are those who clearly have a sense of their own value, who are valued by others, and who place a value on others.  

The (to me) interesting follow-up question is how on earth does any of us show that sense of value?

I think that one clear way is by paying attention.

Even better is giving undivided attention.

That attention can be in big things like going for dinner with Sherry and without the boys.

That attention can be in little and mundane things like walking the dog together in the evening.


That attention can be listening while making dinner or doing any number of other chores to keep the household running.

That attention can be when I get home from work and have something about dinner started and may need to continue, but I take some time to listen to Sherry or one of my kids rather than just pushing onward.

That attention can be to a friend while running.

That attention in the workplace can be welcoming someone new.

That attention can take so many forms.  But the key is to make it clear to the one to whom the attention is being given.

I need to pay attention and I need to let the person know I am paying attention.

Then, the relationship can grow.  

Marriage continues to grow.

Friendships and collegiality grow.  

Attention in a relationship is like water and light for a garden.  And my road to better will be paved not with (as in the proverbial expression on the road to hell) good intentions, but with good attention to those to whom I want to show value as I continue my own personal and professional development.   

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