Reflection on My First Track Workout Since June 30--In Haiku

For the first time in

Far too many weeks I ran

An on-track workout.

To get to the track

I jogged over--and this time

I really did jog. 

So I was not sure

How the workout would proceed

When I started out.

In fact I had thought

That on the day after a

Strong progression run

I might not have all

That much to power myself 

Through the track workout. 

However the first

800 meters took me

3:03. Not bad. 

In fact I worried

That I'd gone out at a pace

Like a springbok when

I should have been a

Little more circumspect and

Gone out more slowly. 

Four additional 

800's. Each in a time

Of 2:58. 

Realization.

Today was a springbok day

For me after all. 

Too much time away

From the track I so enjoy

Makes it hard to judge.

Long run. Track workouts. 

Different concentration.

Varying focus. 

Complementary 

In my long distance training. 

And throughout my life.

Focus can be good. 

But too much or too little

Each can cause trouble. 

A little focus

With diversification 

Works best in my world. 

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

There are lots of shoes that are symbolic in our culture.  Cinderella.  Dorothy.  I’m sure I could think of others.  Today, I will talk about shoes. 

The first pair of shoes saw their retirement after my track workout this week.  I have gone back to track on Tuesday for at least one week.  I was assigned to run 9x600 at a 2:10 pace.  I thought it would be rather daunting given that this translates into a sub-3:00 half mile pace.  And I was supposed to repeat it nine times.  And I had only 200 meters (half lap) of rest between each.  Yet, the person who developed the plan for me told me that I could do it.

I was lucky to choose to not only go back to Tuesdays but also to go back to the Dunbar track this week.  The officer has been showing up regularly to open the track since the school year started up again.  And they have lights, which makes the running easier.  And my track buddies still run there—which makes it even easier. 

There was one guy running 6x1600 at a pace almost as fast as what I was running.  Then, one other friend came to the track to join me, although he did what he described as the “Kevin lite” workout.  He doesn’t give himself enough credit.  There were also several other runners and walkers out on the track.  Always good to see the community taking advantage of the wonderful facility. 

In any case, I did my three miles of warm up.  Travis arrived with a half to go.  The warm-up was run at an easy pace just a little slower than 8 min/mile.  Stopped to get rid of the shirt.  And then we began.

Ran the first five in 2:10.64, 2:12.52 (I have a four second window on either side so while these were not exact they were still pretty good), 2:09.40, 2:10.36, and 2:09.  Travis made the comment that the start line seemed to come up rather quickly.  When taking only a 200-meter rest, I can’t say that I’d argue that point.  I ran the next two alone while Travis took a brief rest and hit 2:10.56 and 2:12.52.  Travis rejoined me for #8 and we high 2:09.24 again and then closed with 1:27.84 over the last 400 in a 600 in which I missed starting with the first 200.  I’d guess we were running about the same pace the whole way through so that translated into 2:11.8.  The overall average was 2:10.67.  That was one of the most challenging track workouts I have ever run.  But it was well worth it.  After the poor showing on Saturday, a day of rest, and an easy 7, I had accomplished the goal.  I was happy.  With the 3 mile warm-up and 2.5 cool down I had my 10—or 40 laps around the track.  I thanked Travis for his company.  The run wouldn’t have been the same without him and we were running 8-minute miles by the end of the cool down, so we were in pretty good shape.

As mentioned, that was the run to retire that pair of running shoes.  Those shoes got me my race PR for a 20 mile run and one of my most challenging track workouts ever.  A good pair.  I went to Charm City Run to get the next pair of shoes.  Short trip as I ended up with the same model and same size.  Constancy is good. 

So, today, I broke in the new pair with a 7-mile maintenance run.  I ran it in 58:07 or an 8:18 pace.  To do that the day after a very challenging track workout was amazing.  I was back to where I felt at ease and just comfortable running that pace—no matter what I had done the day before and no matter what the hills looked like for the run. 

2 “winning” runs with 2 pairs of shoes.  Both felt good.  Both made me feel great.  Both helped restore my confidence that a PR may be possible in Philadelphia in late November. 

The reminded me of constancy.  Multiple pairs of the same model of shoe.  More pairs of the same brand of shoe—Brooks.  Run with the same people over and over again.  Same shoe store.  It is similar to other aspects of constancy in my life.  Same place to go for a haircut.  Same church.  Same job.  Married half my life.  Even the title of this blog entry reflects constancy—the same word three times.  Constancy is good.

But the fact that I had a shoe transition also makes me think of my Boston Marathon 2013 shoes. Last year in an article in the Baltimore Sun, I said, "I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to do with them," he said. "But I'm not going to just throw these out. That would not be the right thing to do." After much discussion with running friends I grew up with—many of whom are still in the same general area where we grew up—we decided to turn my 2013 Boston Marathon shoes—the only pair of running shoes I’ve ever saved after they had accumulated enough miles not to run any more—into a pair of sportsmanship awards—one for the boys and one for the girls—in a league wide award in the athletic league in which I competed in high school—the Central League outside Philadelphia. 

Today, I share the pictures of the awards that were created by Clear Preservations. I am hoping that the awards will be given at a time at which I can attend the first awarding ceremony. It may be at the Central League championship cross country meet. That would be fun as it would take me back to Rose Tree Park where the issue of how to balance running and the rest of life was first a reality for me. I remember in my sophomore year going to the county championship meet and having to leave early being picked up by my parents rather

than leaving with the team so that I could go to my aunt’s (and now uncle’s) wedding. The reality of the conflict between running and life is also a constant.

For the record, my total mileage is now 1662 on the year.  Still on US 54 in Texas headed toward New Mexico on my virtual pilgrimage.  New Mexico is the only other state I will run in before I am done. 

A few thoughts

Since I wrote last after my run on 9/1, I ran on each of the 2nd through 5th. The second was an lighter progression run (just seven miles). The third was an easy run outside. Then the fourth was another track workout alone--this time 9x400 with a goal of 1:27. This week I had a little more variation from one interval to the next but still pretty consistent without looking at my watch a single time as I rounded the track. Friday was an easy 5 and today was a rest day.

I like having a Saturday rest day. That will not always be the case, but it was good--I got work and hosuework and cooking done.

My mileage for the year is up to 1486. I'll be 73 miles ahead of schedule (40 mile average) by Tuesday. On my question to virtually reach New Mexico, it puts me still on US-54 in Kansas but continuing my march across.

This week, I have two potential story openings. One from the track morning. The other from the easy run Friday.

Track morning: On that Thursday as he came around the home stretch heading east for each of the nine truly ivigorating 400 meter intervals he was running, he noticed that the sky was different--Orion was not visible in the darkness and Venus was not visible as dawn approached, but there were only gray clouds seemingly sent by the universe to remind him of a tumultuous week. 

Easy Friday: After a relatively cool summer, the fifth day of September was the fifth hot and super humid day in a row; so instead is fighting the weather as he had in a race earlier in the week he adapted, as he often found himself doing in life in general, and just enjoyed the 5 miles of time outside listening, watching, and moving.

What these sum up together is that life isn't always easy and I have to do a lot of adapting. And while I am much more engaged with people than I used to be, when all is said and done, I still observe a lot.

What am I Made Of?

So, the last time I blogged I had completed an easy 6 to reach 1408 miles.  On Tuesday I did a progression workout still feeling slightly tired legs from Sunday's 18.  But I was able to do it with miles ranging from 8:15 down to 6:30 in 15 second increments with the last at 8:00.  I stopped twice rather than once (once, because the treadmills at the Y only allow me 60 minutes maximum, and the second time because I must have hit some control that stopped it).  What was nice is that neither time (especially after the second) did I have difficulty getting started again.

Then I ran an easy 7 on Wednesday.  A nice course mostly east at west going no further north than Walker and no further south than Belvedere.

Then, there was yesterday.  Yesterday, I had a track workout scheduled.  I ran the 2.3 miles over to the at an 8:54 pace.  I felt really sluggish.  I had had several long days at work.  I had had a late and very heavy dinner the evening before.  I just wasn't sure if I could meet the goal that had been set: 10x400 at 1:27 +/- 2 seconds.

I took off my water belt and set it by the side of the track.  I took off my shirt and set that by the side of the track as well. I mean--it was 73 degrees at 5:35 in the morning when I was getting ready to leave.

I ran a warm up lap.  Nice and easy--just under two minutes.  Then, I took off.  First one--1:27.  It was great.  I concentrated. I kept my mind completely on what I was doing.  I did not run too hard.  I did not push myself too much.  And I did not look at my watch as I rounded the track.  It felt, just right.

Rest.

Second one--1:27 again.  Same thing.  I was amazed at the consistency.  As I completed my 200 meters of rest after lap 2, I hit the wrong button.  Distracted but not deterred, I corrected my watch and did the third one--1:26.  Stopped purposefully for a small drink of water, ran an active rest 200 meters, and ran the fourth one--1:27.  Feeling good I went on to do the fifth at 1:26, the sixth at 1:26, and the seventh at 1:27.  I thought about taking a drink but waited until after number eight--1:27.  Number eight was tough.  My legs were starting to yell at me after five days of running in a row that included the harder but not raced 18, the progression, and now this.  Number nine--1:26 again.  By that time, I was feeling confident but didn't want to push the last one too hard--1:26.

So, for a workout where I had a watch to time the laps, but I didn't look at my watch except at the end of each lap, I had run the most consistent times ever.  The rounded times were all 1:26 or 1:27.  I think I have found my "natural" fast pace, given the end result.

I ran home the 2.3 miles at a 9:09 pace.

I have never had a workout so consistent before.  All by myself.  Persevering.  Having had to go around two different runners who were running slowly in lane 1.  One with headphones.  A workout on which I had never thought I could do what was planned had turned into one of the most revealing workouts I had ever done.  What can I do?  What can I keep up?   What are my limits?

Hopefully what I pulled out yesterday will translate into a good performance in Sunday's race.  I now have 1432.6 miles.  I am still on US 54 west as I will be for a long while to come.  Making my way west.  Aiming to reach 2000 miles.  As I will likely reach 1500 by mid-September, I am way ahead of schedule.  Life is good.   

Day by Day--From Saturday

I last wrote on Tuesday—after my sons and I made a very nice dinner that I took pictures of and wrote about and posted in my blog about A Dad and Three Boys in the Kitchen as well as cross posting here.  Since then I have run seven miles on Wednesday morning (at a pace of about 8:08), a great track workout where I ran 10 x 400 with each under 1:30 and the last in 1:20, took a much needed day off, and then ran an easy 6 this morning at an 8:10 pace.  I slowed down the last mile as I constantly reminded myself that while I could run the last mile faster and it felt easy to run the last mile faster the challenge and what counted was not how easy the last mile was today.  What is important is how easy the last six miles feel tomorrow after my training partner departs and I climb from the Penn Station area to our neighborhood at a sub-8:10 pace.

The added miles put me up to 1308 miles for the year.  Hard to believe I have already passed 1300.  The total puts me on NE 10 St as I continue my westward movement from Wichita.

This week has been one in which I have continued to expand the range of people I know who run.  I was added to a most local group called Fitness Fanatics on social media.  It provides a great chance to share with people who are as crazy about running and racing as I am.  The woman who added me to the list has the distinction of having run in 50 races during her 49^th year on this Earth.  What a wonderful accomplishment.

I met the new students in our 2 year MBA program.  I had two chances to get to know then. One during their team building day at a local ropes course.  The other at a happy hour gathering yesterday.  I enjoyed both experiences.  When I shared my track workout report with the person who has developed y training plan for me, she commented on how well I had done for having run it alone. I was not completely alone.  There were two others on the track doing 400’s.  They were not going as quickly as I was but I knew one of them and we shared the track nicely.  So, I did have a little company.  But the running by myself was fine.  I commented that it was the introvert in me feeling at home and providing energy while I was preparing for a very “externally” facing day.  That was the day of the second graduation ceremony of the year for the school at which I am the Vice Dean for Education.  Between that, addressing and having lunch with new faculty, and two experiences with the new students, I had a very external facing week.  While I do not feel like as much of an introvert as I used to imagine myself to be, I think it was mostly imagination as to how much of an introvert I was.  However, I still get energy from sometimes just being alone and doing my own thing.  Thursday morning was a great example of that.

The interesting thing about the experience on Thursday at graduation was the clear value of making an effort.  I will write more about this in my professional blog, but suffice it to say that I spent time learning some of the nuances of pronouncing Chinese names and it made a great impression on the students and families.

That effort is a sign of going the extra mile.  My entire team at work went the extra mile for graduation and orientation this week.  So, it was a good week that way as well.

Spiritually, it has been a week in which I have listened to Godspell.  I realize that the plot of Godspell is only loosely based on the Gospel but I do enjoy the music.  I especially enjoy Day by Day.  Three things to pray—see God more clearly, love God more dearly, follow God more nearly.   For me, that is based on my Catholic faith tradition.  For others, there are other traditions.  The key is that it is important to have a focal point for spiritual development and growth, to perform a personal continuous quality improvement cycle focused on spirituality, and to make it more and more central to one’s life.  I certainly try to do that.  Running helps.  I will continue to run and seek and share.

Pushing Through

Yesterday, I did not feel well.  I took the day off from running.

This morning, I got out of bed, spent a lot of time making sure my stomach was empty before joining friends at the Dunbar track, and did a workout that included 1/4 mile warm up, 6x400 at 85-90 pace with a 400 between each, and 2 miles cool down.  I was surprised that the cramps were still there after my drive down town.  I told my friends, "Someone else line up in front."  One commented, "That is so counter intuitive."  Maybe.  But I was not the fastest on any of the six 400's.  In part that was because I was not 100%.  In part it is to help me reach my long term goal of running another marathon this year--Philadelphia in November.  I want to shoot for sub-3:15 and maybe even closer to 3:10 six months from now.  What I need to do now is just keep the legs moving with workouts that don't stress my body too much and that are enjoyable.  

The workout was enjoyable as on each 400, I remained under control.  On one, I hit 85 and realized that was faster than I would have liked.  I would have preferred variation only from 86-90, but such is life.  That is a pretty high level of precision to maintain.  Also, while I did not actually record splits after the first 200 each time, I did look and for at least the last 3, I ran negative 200 splits for the 400.  I let my friend Melissa go out and lead the way (between us--there were others faster than both of us) and then I held steady or sped up a little in the second 200 and tried to encourage her to do everything she could to keep pace.  Different styles.  Different intensities.  Different needs.  My friend Lauren took an even more conservative approach and worked her way down from 97 to 87 over the course of six 400's.  

A good workout for everyone.  With 5 miles recorded, it puts me at a total of 927.1.  Still on Missouri Route 28 headed west.  Pretty much nothing major around.  Next town is Bland.  

How fitting that I am approaching a town called Bland on a day when I still felt that Bland food would probably be best for me.  My run felt "bland".  Yes it was solid.  But it was not a great workout.  And it was not a poor workout.  It was just a workout for which I hit targets I had set with a high level of precision.  Nothing wrong with that.  Just nothing out of the ordinary.

Sometimes, nothing out of the ordinary is exactly what a person wants from a workout.  Simple.  Easy.  No risk.  Just movement.

It was not bland that I got to encourage other runners.  That made my "just on course" workout exciting.

And I did have a chance to chat with Cory afterwards about his fall marathon aspirations.  His are sooner than mine and he hopes to BQ again.  Even if I did quality for Boston again, it is not at all clear that I would go back.

Bland is also the way my cool down felt.  I pushed through the stomach cramps at the beginning.  I felt better.  My friend Lauren even shared with me how exercise is recommended for women who are cramping and how it seems to help.  (Runners sometimes discuss the most personal health issues without hesitation...)  But as I rounded the 4th lap of cool down and prepared to head into the second half, my legs felt heavy.  As I went on to complete the five miles they felt heavier and heavier.  Was I ever going all that slowly?  No.  In fact, when Cory joined me we picked up the pace.  But it is the most effort I have had to make for a 2 mile cool down after a 3 mile workout in a long time.  

The lack of hydration over the weekend.

The excess sun over the weekend.

The "Imodium moment" (if you can accept the euphemism) on Monday.  

So many things that made me feel "bland" rather than "having a great morning.  But picked up by my fellow runners.  

And I had a pretty good rest of the day with the boys doing at least some of the assigned chores.  We have to work on them getting as much discipline about chores as I have about running.  Maybe someday.  It would make both me and my wife happier.  

After wandering a bit--most important lesson--push on.  It is always worth it in the end. 

The Power of Positive

Today's title sounds like a self-help book.  I suppose that is okay since my blogging is essentially a self-help experience.  

Today, I will briefly share how far I've run the past two days.  Where I am in my virtual pilgrimage.  And a lesson I learned.  

Yesterday--5.7 miles. It took a good 3-4 miles for my legs to feel ready to go after the 5K on Sunday.  By the time I was done, my legs did open up again.  And it felt good.  That put me up to 843 miles.  That put me on the edge of the St. Louis University campus.  I have been on the St. Louis University campus once when I was speaking at Washington University.

Today, I went to the Dunbar track.  The group of us included 5 runners this morning.  The other 4 did 4x800 with 400 between each.  I did 1 mile warmup.  8x400 with 400 active rest between each.  Times: 87, 87, 87, 86, 84, 86, 86, and 82.  Two of my four friends stayed around until I was done the last 400.  They cheered me on as I ran the last four 400's and that really helped.  The extra six miles has me moving across the city of St. Louis on Manchester Rd.  

Now for the power of positive.  First, despite the race on Sunday not going 100% as planned, I just keep going.  That is positive.

Second, I met a new runner for the track group this morning. I gave her a shout out when I mentioned the four people on social media this morning after the run.  I could not put a link to her as I did not know her before this morning.  One of my other friends put a link and we became friends on social media.  Turns out she is a research dietician and we may have some common research interests as well as running interests.Thus, you never can tell what one quick mention will turn into.

Finally, I took time this morning to email the person whom I "raced" at the 5K on Sunday.  She has numerous mutual running friends.  I thanked her for the advice but pointed out how difficult it is for someone who has been running off and on for 30 years and who has been running constantly for 5 to change in the middle of a race but that I'd keep her advice in mind.  I also noted how wonderful it was for her to cheer on the women ahead of her and to come in third in both races.  She wrote back that she appreciated the effort to write a positive note more than I coudl appreciate as she is on a mission to give more positive recognition that society does on average.  What a wonderful thing to say.  She even said she would think of the experience the next time she did something nice for someone.

It is amazing how much a little positive recogntition to two people this morning led positive outcomes for all concenred.  What I need to do is to take the lesson about the power of positive into the rest of my life.  Not just my running.  My teaching.  My managment.  My research.  My parenting.  My marriage.  All parts of my life.

Running and the Former New York TImes Editor's Tattoo: Considering Commitment

Time to report on two days worth of running and what I thought about.  Yesterday's run was 7.8 miles.  2 miles of warm up.  Three sets of 3 quarter miles.  First set at 6:00/mile.  Second set at 5:52/mile.  Third set at 5:44/mile.  All was good.  The workout made me feel much better than I had when I awakened yesterday morning.  My throat is much better than it was on Monday morning.  That is good as I have to read ~400 names at the Business School commencement today.

Today, I went out and ran an easy 4.1 miles.  New course.  Up into Stoneleigh and home.  Very nice. 

Puts my total up to 822.4 miles.  I am still in Illinois on my virtual pilgrimage.  In fact, many of the most recent miles have been on bike trails.  It's very nice to see that there are so many miles of bike trails in that section of Illinois.  At the moment, I am in Glen Carbon on the Glen Carbon Heritage Bike Trail. 

The Catholic church in Glen Carbon is St. Cecilia.  She is another Roman martyr and is the patroness of music.  She is described as having sung in her heart to the Lord at her wedding.  Music is obviously relevant to me given my own ministry for numerous years and given my oldest son choosing Gregory as his confirmation name (the patron of musicians).  

Music ministry leads me to think of what (if anything) I would get as a second tattoo.  At the moment, my vision is a cornucopia bursting with breads, golden apples (teaching), and red eggs (Mary Magdalene) placed in a Garden of Eden setting with a cassowary in the background.  I've described most of that before, but the cassowary is new.  It is a reflection that not all things are good and gentle and not everything in life is perfect.  

Thinking about my own tattoo (and potential future tattoo) and thinking about advice I've given adult friends about getting tattoos, brings me to an interesting story in the news yesterday.  Here is an article about the immediately past editor-in-chief of the New York Times in one of her first public addresses after she left the position.  She apparently has a tattoo of the classic New York Times styled letter "T" on her back.  She was asked if she would get it removed.  Removal of any tattoo is not perfect.  But it says something about her commitment (at least that she is willing to admit to publicly).  Getting a tattoo is not to be taken lightly.  Like marriage.  Like parenthood.  A tattoo is designed to be forever.  A tattoo should be something that if it is on a part of the body that is visible to others, the person getting the tattoo would need to want to explain it on the day they get it, one year after that day, ten years after that day, and (should they be lucky enough) fifty years after that day.  The former editor-in-chief seems to have made a choice that reflects a story she will always be willing to tell regardless of her employment by the paper.  My tattoo of St Sebastian and Irene is a story about vulnerability, strength, and people helping people that I will always want to tell.  My story about bread, teaching, and contemplation is something that I would always want to tell.  When I first thought about a second, I had music high in my mind.  But now I don't.  It reflects how important it is to consider the tattoo long and hard before getting one.

It is like running.  Not necessarily a lifetime but definitely something that takes commitment.  And certainly something (like any exercise) that if I am wanting to do today, in a year, in ten years, and in fifty years will lead to a much better health and wellness outcome.  And to spread even further, my approach to spirituality and religion--also a matter of life long commitment. 

So, a couple of runs, "arrival" in Glen Carbon, IL, and looking up some of the history around St. Cecilia leads to thinking about some very interesting issues regarding commitment.  From tattoos to exercise to religion.  The stories we tell. The dreams we have.  The things we wish.  Driving life ahead.  

Work with Your Body Toward Renewal and Leaving Behind Arbitrary Goals

Today's entry will be a complex weaving of several threads.  

First, I ran a 10x400 workout this morning.  I had hoped to get down to Dunbar.  Instead, I ran at Gilman.  About 2.3 miles before my first 400.  Then ten 400's with 8 of 10 at 1:26 and one of the other two two seconds faster and the other one two seconds slower.  Why I had variation in #3 and #4 but otherwise just ran consistently, I'll never know.  Interesting to do it all alone.  Interesting to do it without being able to see splits for the early ones--too dark and light not working.  But I was glad to have a fully lap-functioning watch.  Comment about working with my body?  How I described today's workout.  With a goal of breaking 19:00 at a 5K on Memorial Day weekend, I don't have to run super fast.  In fact, running super fast right now would just do one thing--increase the probability of injury.  What I need to do is to train my body at a speed that will feel fast but under control.  That is what I ran today.  Ten 400's that were under control.  I could tell my body was doing work.  But it wasn't fighting for survival.  It wasn't going all out.  It was just working.  Working with my body makes me think of two other things.  One, Sherry's experience with childbirth and our taking Bradley instead of Lamaze classes. The emphasis is working with your body.  It reminds me of getting a therapeutic massage or my tattoo.  In each case, I just let my "self" go and trusted the person working with me to do what I needed/asked for.  Release.  Trust.  Harmony.  It even makes me think of Waldorf education and how it is intended to be tied to the child's developmental phases.  

Second thing today.  This puts me at about 649.9 miles.  That puts me on Terra Haut Rd headed out of Worthington, Indiana.  Continuing through the midwest.

Third thing today.  With Easter, I changed my profile picture on Facebook, my picture on the Connecting the Dots page on Facebook, and my cover photo on Facebook.  Here are the three pictures.  Fun.  Symbols of new life and family.  Good theme with the resurrection.  Fr. Sam made a comment about Easter not being one day for a lifetime of searching ways to find new life--with Jesus, of course, in this context.

Two other things.  I said that my last entry was going to be the last about Boston.  Alas, I was wrong.

What else got my attention today?  First, a story about Ryan Hall.  If the story is true, this is the stuff that a book or movie will be made of some day.  And it is the stuff that can bring a tear to the eye of someone who has ever truly experienced "team".  The story says that the fastest US marathon runner in history used his leadership and held the American runners other than Meb back.  Why?  So that the non-US runners would not have "help" in catching up to Meb.  This is an amazing self-sacrifice to get an American to win the race.  It shows strategy.  It shows teamwork.  It shows caring about the bigger picture goal.  It shows not putting one's own needs first.  It reminds me of the best 1600m I ever ran.  I was with a bunch of guys who just hung around at a comfortable (back in the day) 70 second per mile pace.  I just hung in.  I rode the wave to my best time.  If I had pushed, I'm sure that they other guys would have pushed and left me in the dust as happened the next day.  Running is a very mental and tactical sport on some days.  Yesterday was one.  And it brought an incredible victory for American running.

Finally, a post in the New York times that a fellow health economist and runner posted a link to.  It was about marathon running and bad investments.  It noted how marathon runners focus on running arbitrary distances--why 26.2 miles? or even why 5K?--at arbitrary times--why break 4:00:00?  At least some runners get satisfaction from coming in under rather than over that arbitrary time.  Of course, I am sometimes guilty.  Aiming for a 19:00 5K.  Having to run a 3:15:00 marathon to qualify for Boston.  But then I assessed my last three marathons: 3:15:45/3:14:25/3:15:56.  By the criteria of what was just over or just under a target time, two of these would be considered complete failures.  And yet, I don't see them that way.  I do describe the 3:15:45 as heart-breaking most times when I talk about it.  But I also describe it as exhilarating as it was the first time I'd broken 3:20 and was more than a six minute improvement over a race I'd run six weeks earlier.  The article in the NYT talked about making sure to keep track of long term goals rather than having arbitrary short-term goals in investing.  When all is said and done, while there will always be those somewhat arbitrary target times as long as I run, I realize what I have done to cope with missing them as often as not.  I have reset my expectations.  I look for lessons in whatever the outcome of the race.  If I come in just under a target time--bonus!  But in general, the goal is simple. Run.  Enjoy.  Learn.

To conclude that brings me back to my friend Lauren.  As a running mentor, if there is one thing that I would hope I could teach her about life and running, it is to avoid the arbitrary goals that society or our shared sport or ourselves place on what we do.  To take the good with the bad.  To live it all.  To truly experience it all.  And to learn from it all as we go along.  Happiness is in the learning.  Living is in the learning.  I think that she has actually learned much of this in her young 22 years.  But there is always room for learning and reminders.  

And, as on so many days, the last couple have brought a lot of lessons I shall reflect on by and by.  And wonder, why I am so lucky to have them.

Twelve More Miles, One Year, Lots of Realizations

Since the last time I wrote, I ran 5 miles easy outside near home and 7 miles on a treadmill at a hotel in Cleveland, OH, starting at 3:35 this morning.  Thus the 12 more miles.  I enjoyed every minute of both runs.  This puts me at 612 miles after 15 weeks of the year.  On my virtual pilgrimage I remain on Indiana Route 46 and am now on the outskirts of Bloomington.

The reference to one year--one year since the Boston Marathon bombing.  When I started the day on the treadmill, I have a very early network news program on.  And they spent a lot of time covering the remembrance of the events in Boston.  I felt emotions come quickly.  They came even more rapidly once they mentioned the eight year old who died last year.  Then, I was asked to be on a local public radio program this afternoon.

On that program, the host asked me what I will be doing next Monday.  I hadn't even looked ahead to my calendar for next Monday yet.  It turns out I will have a lot of meetings.  That is actually a very good thing.  Because otherwise, I would probably be at my desk all day watching the internet on pins and needles.  Waiting for the many runners I know--some through Back on My Feet, some through Charm City Run, and some through other local connections I have made over the years--to see their times and to see that they are safe.  And to wait and see that nothing happens.  I realize now that we will never be able to take safety at an event like this completely for granted again.  Especially after someone left a backpack there today after the end of the remembrance activities.  Being in meetings most of the day will force me to focus on something else.  Not that I want to ignore the issue.  I want to face the issue.  The best way to deal with it is to face it.  And to face it squarely.  The fact that it happened.  And the fact that I must do something about it.   

So, what else did I learn about myself and life today?

First, I still like the idea of playing music but right now I get no joy from playing.  I committed to play for a Good Friday service and for an Easter Sunday mass.  I had hung up the towel last year.  I have re-engaged three times since.  I think this is it.  I am not saying I am any better than any of the other musicians.  I certainly am not.  I'm just not feeling it any more.  And that will help no one.  Life is too short to do volunteer activities that I don't enjoy.

Second, the events of last year are still closer than I thought they were.

Third, the group of running friends I have really does look out for and care about each other.  One friend I have run many miles with sent a message today indicating that she has to take some time off.  She has had a series of injuries and felt something different enough that she feels she has to pull back. It is unfortunate as she has waited since 2011 to run another marathon and is in for the Marine Corps this year.  I hope that she overcomes whatever has started to affect her.

Earlier in the day, I heard from a friend with whom I often run track workouts on Tuesdays.  She called me asking if I was okay.  I hadn't even realized that she might be thinking that I was not okay because of the anniversary of the bombings.  It is simply that we have been doing track workouts as a group (varying from 2-12) since the fall of 2011 when she and a student of mine from Ireland ran a 3200 meter time trial together with the two of them expertly pacing me.  In any case, this was one of the first weeks when I didn't send out any email--even one saying "I won't be out" in almost three years.  She noticed and wanted to make sure nothing was up.

Then, for one friend who is running Boston this year, I had sent a brief hand-written note.  When I dropped it in the mail (people still like getting real mail every once in a while), I didn't realize what day it would arrive on. I also hadn't thought about my friend's relationship with the events in Boston last year.  Her mother was there.  As was I.  And numerous other friends.  She felt relieved as she heard from each one a year ago.  But she posted late in the day today how raw some of those feelings were.  And how much she appreciated getting my note encouraging her to make the most of the opportunity to run Boston.  To run strong.  And to find in the experience the meaning she needs it to have for her.  

In closing, Anthony on his program today asked me why so much running.  I gave my answer that has nothing to do with community first--immediate feedback and lots of numbers.  But the community I am a part of is an amazing one.  One that is strong.  One that faces the issues we must overcome head on.  And one that I will continue to be a part of.

While I acknowledge that I want to run more races--and not just train endlessly--the many feelings of insecurity do haunt me.  And it is not even so much my own feelings of insecurity.  I can get over those.  Every major race I run for the rest of my life, I will have to ask the question--how will I get news to my family that I am done?  If anything happens, how will I let them know I am safe?  And is the risk worth it.  

I think I will answer yes.  But that is a question I never had to ask before.  It is a shame to have to ask it now.  But family as community is even stronger.  And the risk cannot be ignored.

I am sure I will run and write next Monday.  And I am sure on the day of this year's Boston Marathon I will have even more to say about the feelings that are still there.  This is one time when being 612 miles away in reality rather than just virtually might help to ease the hurt that is still there--the easing through distance as well as time.  Or perhaps not as this may transcend any distance as long as the pictures, the story about the eight year old, and my memories live on.  

Flight Paths

This morning I put in another 7 miles.  Putting me up to 528.3--nicely ahead of the 40 miles per week I had as a goal at the start of the year.  In fact 8.3 miles over for 13 weeks--so, a little less than an extra mile a week on average.  

This morning's workout was a 3200 meter warmup, 8x400 with 200 meter active rest between each, and 3400 cool down.  I think I kept the 400's under 90.  The intensity felt similar as I went through 4-8.  The first three were definitely under 90.  Watch on the fritz for the last five.

The distance puts me on Indiana route 46 headed west.  Leaving the Cincinnati metro area at this point.

What stood out during my run this morning?  

Well, the stars were such that I could see the Big Dipper, what looked like Mars, and Venus.

And even more interesting while I was running on the track at Gilman, the area must have been on the flight path for many of the early morning flights coming into BWI.

I think I saw at least a half dozen planes with their bright headlights approaching and then low enough to see the underside of the plane lit up.

Time after time.

Just like the workout.  Lap after lap.

A certain sense of constancy.

Constancy of effort.

Constancy of distance.

Developing familiarity with the pace.

Just like the flight path is probably a  familiar one.  Not just for those of us on the ground watching plane after plane come in.

But also for the pilots who must fly the same path over and over again.

A reminder of how many things in life either are constant or require constant attention or require constant and consistent effort.  From the biggest things where many others might be depending on us to the smallest things like one lap around the track.

Over and over.

Guided by the ticking of the clock.

Guided by the effort.

With one goal in mind--execute against the plan.

And make it work.  

Pragmatic Visionary Spirituality

In a discussion at my office yesterday, someone referred to me as a pragmatic visionary.  That is an interesting compliment, and I spent some time thinking about what I had said that prompted that comment and whether I would think of myself that way.  It is not the first time I have been called a visionary about the business of education and health, so maybe there is something that other people are seeing.  I certainly have never thought of myself as a visionary.  But perhaps that is just being polite and not giving myself too much credit.

In any case, the previous comment about being a visionary (to set the context was with respect to bringing cost-effectiveness analysis to eye care and to nursing.  Was I single handed responsible for it?  No, absolutely not.  But, did my efforts make a difference in bringing this new way of thinking about resource allocation, new techniques, and new language to structure resource allocation efforts in these two areas--yes.  Does that make me a visionary?  I certainly had an idea of why the new methods would be important, whom to reach, and how to communicate them. The last of those may have been the most important--storytelling.   But I'm not at all sure it makes me a visionary.

Today, I will borrow heavily again from my professional blog.  And then, I will expand just a bit.  

In a discussion at my office yesterday, someone referred to me as a pragmatic visionary.  That is an interesting compliment, and I spent some time thinking about what I had said that prompted that comment and whether I would think of myself that way.  It is not the first time I have been called a visionary about the business of education and health, so maybe there is something that other people are seeing.  I certainly have never thought of myself as a visionary.  But perhaps that is just being polite and not giving myself too much credit.

In any case, the previous comment about being a visionary (to set the context was with respect to bringing cost-effectiveness analysis to eye care and to nursing.  Was I single handed responsible for it?  No, absolutely not.  But, did my efforts make a difference in bringing this new way of thinking about resource allocation, new techniques, and new language to structure resource allocation efforts in these two areas--yes.  Does that make me a visionary?  I certainly had an idea of why the new methods would be important, whom to reach, and how to communicate them. The last of those may have been the most important--storytelling.   But I'm not at all sure it makes me a visionary.
Yesterday, the conversation was one in which I simply reflected what I thought I heard a colleague saying, acknowledged that it was important, and built on it.  If there is one business skill that I have (and I really never thought of it as a business skill until I found myself in a business school), it is listening, reflecting, and improvising in the reflection. The aspect of improvising in return, I think is particularly critical for being thought of as a visionary.  Anyone with a take on modern communication skills for business or relationships has heard of reflective conversations.  What I do is expand.  Use my creativity.  Use my imagination.  Use my sense of being part of something bigger to make a difference in how I think and what I say.  It is one of the reasons that I have written before that if I ever get a second tattoo I have thought about including the mockingjay from The Hunger Games. The fictional bird did not simply mimic but changed.  Not always for the better--as I hope to in the sense of being considered a visionary.  But definitely improvised.

It is the improvising that I think appealed to my colleague and led him to the visionary comment.  What did it have to do with?  It had to do with thinking about online education and the role of individual courses versus the role of the program as a whole and the role of thinking about the university-wide reputation and context in which it fit.  Most importantly, acknowledging the importance of thinking not just about the quality of each course but the bigger picture and being able to articulate that bigger picture.  Again, I'm not sure that makes me a visionary.  But it does reflect my view of life.  Always having the bigger picture in mind.  My say is not the end of it.  My experience is not the end of it.  My thought is not the end of it.  I have spent 17 1/2 years as part of a bigger culture and bigger sense of an expansive imagination of what can be.  That is what Johns Hopkins University represents to me. 

The pragmatic side--I kept referring back to the timeline my boss has set.  Acknowledging that while the "big picture" thinking is great, I also have to be careful to meet deadlines.  

The two concepts (being a visionary whether I am one or not) and pragmatism are often at odds.  However, I think it is possible to pull them both together and make them work in harmony to lead to new and interesting ideas being implemented in a timely way.  That is the business of business in general, is it not?  To bring in new ideas, new methods, and new approaches to getting things that need to be done completed.    

So, in addition to my added comments about spirituality above, what else is it that ties any of this to spirituality, my running, and in particular my running a virtual pilgrimage this year.  Well, yesterday I ran 11.3 miles.  A total of 4.3 round trip jogging over and back to a track and a workout that among my friends (and apparently in running circles in general) is called "The Michigan".  As  graduate of the University of Michigan, I was intrigued to find out what workout was so strongly associated with my graduate school alma mater that it had attained this notable status.  

What I found was a variety of opinions and different websites that my running friends directed me to.  The one that seemed to most directly draw on what Coach Ron Warhurst actually did was the following...a workout of approximately 6.9 miles.  

Fast 1600 meters (defined as 15-20 seconds slower than the fastest I can run.  My interpretation, aspirational 5K race pace).  I did it in 5:59 yesterday morning.  Alone on the track  Great way to start the workout.

Then, it called for a 3 minute jog.  I just ran a slow lap.  Probably a little less than 3 minutes but plenty of time to recover.  Each supposedly 3 minute jog as described in what I read was translated into a slow lap around the track.  Cumulative distance 2000 meters.  

Then, 1600 meters about a minute slower than the first one.  This, for me, translates into aspirational 10 mile to half marathon race pace.  (I have run each before but never in a race setting on a hilly course.)  Time--7:00 even on the first one.

Another slow lap.

Next, 1200 meters at the same pace as the first 1600. My time?  4:31.  Just a teeny bit slower but exactly in line with the 6:00-6:05 pace I had planned out earlier in the week.

Another slow lap.

Another 1600 meters at the slower pace.  I ran a 6:56.  Good timing.

Next, 800 meters continuing at the fast pace.  Here is where I really started to feel it but hung together enough to run a 2:58.  

Another slow lap and another moderate 1600 meters.  The latter was run in 6:55.  I actually felt for the first time in the workout that I had to think about running that pace and not going too slowly.  The 7 minute mile on the track usually feels like second nature.  But by the end of the 1600 meters, I had accumulated 10800 meters just on the track (more than 6 miles) with more than 5 being at half marathon pace or better.

The final 400 meters was supposed to be all out.  I was not sure what I had left.   I knew I could do better than the six minute mile pace but really wasn't sure.  I took off.  I ended up running what was essentially a tie for the fastest 400 meter I have run since coming back to running in 2006.  I have run what shows up on my Garmin database as a 1:14 three times.  Once in July 2013 and once in June 2012 besides yesterday.  Given the inexact nature of self-timing and the challenge of running a workout alone, I'm quite satisfied to say that at the end of a workout with more than 6 miles total on the track and more than 5 miles at "speed" level, I was able to pull off my fasted quarter mile effort.  That is pretty amazing.  To the degree that the spirit of toughness of a "wolverine" characterizes Michigan sports and Michigan graduates, I think I lived up to that value.

Again, even my workout can be put in light of a bigger picture.  The spirit of Michigan.

And, I as I continue on my trek, where does that leave me?  Well, with 94.3 miles accumulated so far this year, I am would have run past McConnellsburg and then on to US 30 where I will spend many miles headed west.  It sounds more like a hitchhiking trip than a run at this point, but I keep moving along.  Thinking of a bigger picture.  Thinking of a goal.  And being able to tell the story well enough that I now have started to get information about the diocese and the church toward which I am running in my virtual pilgrimage.  I will share that on a day that is not so full of other work and family stuff.     

And I will continue to think about the concept of pragmatic visionary spirituality and what the three terms together might mean to me.