Maturity in Running

So today I ran a simple 6 mile run.  Puts me up to 1558 total.  Still on US 54 in Oklahoma.

Today, as on the past several days when I have run, I noticed one very important thing.  Sometimes training is about being fast.  Sometimes training is about running hard.  Sometimes training is about running a target pace over and over again.  And sometimes running is just about being out there at a reasonable speed, being on my feet, and putting in the time.  Yesterday and today were days like that.

Not particularly fast.

Approximately 45 minute workout yesterday.  Approximately 51 minutes today.  And just moving along.

But sometimes that is a part of being a runner.

More importantly, sometimes that is part of being a mature runner. I would say that this is the year my adult running move out of its adolescence.  In the adolescence of my running, I thought everything had to be fast.  Not true.  Not true at all.  And in fact that is probably a good way to get injured and not be able to run as much as I’d like in the long term.    

On Sunday evening, after I wrote my last entry but before I posted it, I attended a confirmation information meeting for my middle son.  Some starting videos made the comment that was something like “don’t get confirmed—be confirmed.”  As a variation on the theme, I believe that “Live confirmed” was also mentioned.

For running, I have reached a point at which I don’t just “run a marathon”.  I live the life of a marathoner.

Eat moderately well.

Sleep kind of enough.

Run a lot.

Focus on running.

Focus on doing the workouts that are planned.

Focus on a plan to execute on race day.

Carry this over into the rest of my life.

Even mentoring.

In mentoring I share both personal and professional insights into what makes the world go around and how I work.  And how I succeed.  And how I balance life and work.  Although when I was talking with someone I formerly mentored today, I mentioned that I don’t think of it just as work-life balance.  Rather I think of it as balancing work with multiple parts of life.  Personal pursuits.  Marriage.  Kids.  (I could add spiritual pursuits to the list.)  That makes at least four things.

Sometimes even without work it would be hard to balance personal pursuits, marriage, and kids.  What makes me go around?  What makes my marriage go around?  What makes my kids go around?  And how much do they overlap or conflict?  And how much can I do it all?

The simple answer is that I cannot do it all.  But I recognize that sometimes I do a lot and sometimes a little.  Sometimes I focus on one elemtns and sometimes on another.  In the same way that I have many different workouts, I also have many different things on which to focus in my life. 

And I hope that by taking the time to focus on each in turn and as appropriate, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and life will be good.  Just like my running. 

#IRun4NyAnn

(Written Sunday.  Today there is not much to say other than that I ran 5 miles at a pace just above 9 minutes per mile.  Total miles on virtual pilgrimage: 1552.)

This weekend, those who knew NyAnn were asked to post a picture of themselves running.  So, I don’t usually take as any pictures of myself as some other running bloggers do while I am running (or have friends who take pictures of me as much), but today I stopped in three places for pictures.  

On my run, I consumed a Gu and I left my home and ran up York Rd, around the Towson by pass, and back onto York Rd to go up to the Charm City Run store in Timonium/Lutherville.  

I stopped once before I got to the store in front of a church that has an electronic sign that shows the time and temperature.  That was to show that it was actually a wonderful 53 degrees this morning when I was 4.3 miles into my run.  

Then, I took a picture in front of Charm City Run—my favorite running store.  I passed a Dunkin' Donuts along the way--never smelled so good.  At that point, I turned more or less back toward home.  Run over to Charmuth and took it all the way to Dulaney.  The hill as Charmuth ends at Dulaney is coming easier now.  Down Dulaney to Goucher.  To Joppa.  To Loch Raven.   

Going down Loch Raven I had to make a pit stop.  It has been a LONG time since I have had to make such a stop.  But at 12.25 miles, I was not going to make it another 5.75 without stopping.  Consumed my Stinger.  Ran past the IHOP--more amazing smells.  And much to my surprise (and delight) I was able to get myself back to my target speed (which was faster than I had run so far).  I had not always been able to do that in the past.  Then, at mile 16 I hit a major hill and slowed own but was able to get going again for miles 17 and 18 to be my fastest. 

What did my splits look like? 

8:19, 7:57, 8:01, 7:49, 7:46, 7:59,

7:39, 7:57, 7:52, 7:45, 7:33, 7:37

7:28, 7:28, 7:26, 7:49, 7:22, 7:22

I have thought a lot about why I run over the past few weeks.  It is clearly a very important part of my life.  It is clear that I care a lot about it.  It is clear that it helps to keep me goal driven.  It is clear that it shows my dedication and focus and drive and commitment that I like to think characterizes me in general.  My work. My parenting.  My marriage.  Sometimes, I feel that the pressures to be as dedicated and focused and driven at everything make this tough.  But it is the goal.  Sometimes I fear it doesn’t shoe in other things as it shows in my running.  But I try.

The fact that I was able to overcome a stop and a hill to go fast again shows that something has fundamentally changed for me.  Maybe it is mental.  Maybe it has to do with thinking about NyAnn and how hard she ran and the fact that she can never run again. And appreciating that I can run.  Maybe it has to do with my primary running partner for three years and thinking about how hard it will be for her to come back to running at some point and appreciating that I can still run. 

Maybe it is spiritual. A greater connection with my tattoo than ever.  St. Sebastian never gave up.  He just kept going and was essentially martyred twice.  I write a lot about the women in the tattoo.  She in many ways seems primary as the tattoo was designed.  The area covered by her dress and the single color dominates the scene.  That was be design and it is fine.  But the base is St. Sebastian.  He was the one who was ultimately martyred.  I do not associate what I am doing  with martyrdom, but I do relate to the fact that he kept going despite understanding the expected consequences of continuing on his path.  Nothing could stop him.  Why should I let anything stop me in my goal to reach a marathon time?  Wherever I draw strength from it is there. 

And maybe it is physical.  That my training is being guided by a new plan.  A harder plan.  A more difficulty plan.  A plan with more miles at higher speeds that makes a difference.  I can get over the hill and not feel like I have lost the battle when I get to the top.  No, I have won the battle and now it is time to press on for more.  To go for the win!  (To quote my boss.)  Whatever the combination, it is fundamentally different than in the past and it bodes well for the marathon in Philly. 

I have not commented on the virtual pilgrimage aspect in a while.  I am now at 1547 miles on my pilgrimage.  I am in Oklahoma.  The last major town I would have passed is Guymon, Oklahoma.  The Catholic church there is St. Peters.  I have commented on St. Peter before.  What does he bring to mind today?  Leadership.  He was the first head of the church, after all.  And I think about being a leader.  I think about the many different ways of being a leader.  I think about the roles of leadership.  Teaching a class is leading.  Raising kids is leading.  Organizing an informal running group is leading.  My job is leading.  I look for more opportunities.  To prepare for leadership, Peter followed Jesus and was given an assignment that he may or may not have been looking for.  I know that I am looking for more leadership opportunities moving forward.  I hope that I will be good a them.  And I hope that all the lessons I take from running—dedication, focus, drive, commitment, going for the win—show up in my leadership too. 

One more quick reflection.  In yesterday's readings for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (explained in detail by Fr. Sam) he talked about power coming from knowing the people--downward mobility as he called it.  I hope that if I ever get to be Dean or Provost, I don't forget that I was one of the people. 

Two Relaxing Runs and a First Line

This will be my last blog entry as a tribute to NyAnn Smith for the time being.  Although probably not my last one ever.  Yesterday, I ran 7 miles.  That put me up to a total of 1514.  I know that doesn’t quite follow from two days ago, but when I posted two days ago I was one mile short.  Today I did another easy 5.  That puts me aat 1519.  Still on US 54 in my virtual pilgrimage. 

When I was running yesterday morning, I actually found the seven miles relaxing. Monday I had a very long day.  Very early workout.  3+ hours of lecturing.  Long meeting.  Dinner at the boss’s house.  Fun—but long.  When I got home, I was ready for bed immediately, although I didn’t get a chance to go to sleep immediately. 

Yesterday morning, I did not wake up as early as usual.  In fact, I slept as late as possible, washed dishes, and then went for my run.  After my run, I walked the dog and was still ready to be out the door before 7:30.  I was teaching by 8:30.  And had a shorter day.  The only day that I don’t have an evening commitment this week.  Monday was a paper writing session.  Tuesday dinner.  Today through Saturday will be three nights of teaching.

But yesterday morning’s run was a break.  A time just to concentrate on one thing—running.  A time to just experience the somewhat cooler outdoor temps.  Although not really cool.  A time just to enjoy running 9:14 to 8:04 for my mile splits.  A time just to look at the world going by as I took it easy.  I realize that not everyone thinks of 59:17 for seven miles as easy, but it works for me.

The key tribute to NyAnn today is thinking about my tattoo.  One nice thing about having a tattoo with a very flexible theme is that I can reinterpret over time.  There is no doubt that the two women who are more clearly represented by Irene in my tattoo are Sherry and my mom.  Sherry because of having to live with me and our three sons deserves all kinds of credit for her strength of character, strength of body, and strength of mind.  My mom in raising her two kids and surviving cancer also deserves all kinds of kudos.  Over time, I have listed many others whom I think of as being represented by Irene. Women who by their strength have helped me.  This includes professional mentors, professional peers, fellow runners, and those who are seeking spiritual fulfillment or seeking the meaning of life or seeking to share of themselves in positive ways similarly to me. 

NyAnn would be in the running and positive sharing categories.  Probably also in the meaning of life category.  The key is that she had an incredibly positive outlook.  And even in the short time that I knew her—or even knew of her—she was positive about everything.  Posts.  Likes.  Comments.  Sharing her positive nature. 

So, my last honor for right now—I will see if I can participate in anything that is being organized in her memory or dedicate a race to her at some point—is to note that she is among the women who are represented by Irene in my tattoo.  A forever memory of a special runner. 

One final thought during my run this morning, a new opening line:

As he closed the door and got ready to begin his run, he looked skyward and saw the thin clouds blowing quickly, illuminated by the near full and very bright moon; his view of the moon was obscured by the clouds and that reminded him of how his view of his life and his goals had been affected by the rapidly changing and advancing events over the past year.   

Persevering--in Honor of NyAnn

Today I ran to honor NyAnn's spirit.  I ran inspired by NyAnn's spirit.  The freedom of outdoors.  Living to the fullest.  Never backing dow.

I left from my house and ran over to Regester headed toward Loch Raven.  First mile 8:04.

Second mile--on to Loch Raven, around the Mars and post office, and back to Northern Parkway to head more into the city--7:42.

Third mile--continuing along Loch Raven and onto Woodbourne--7:37.

I ran across Woodbourne to where it turns into Homeland--7:27.  

So far so good.  I was supposed to run 8:15 to start and get faster by 15 seconds per mile.  A little too fast to start but okay.

Then I ran across Homeland to Charles and turned north on Charles.  A good amount of up.  I could not get faster--7:28.

I continued north on Charles.  No faster: 7:32.

Then, I reached a much flatter area and thought to myself, I have a choice.  I can go for it or I can hang.  I said to myself, I am not out here just to hang.  I thought to myself--I am here to see what I'm made of and what I can do.  I thought to myself--persevere.  

So, I ran the last two at 6:59 and 6:55.

Then I ran home at 8:15.

I didn't hit the 6:30 I was supposed to and being stuck at 7:30's for an extra two miles was not on plan.  But I enjoyed the run overall.  I loved doing a progress outdoors.  I loved the challenge.  I gave it what I had.  I surprised myself by really pulling those last two down.  And I think that I captured the spirit that NyAnn lived out every day.

I hope to continue to do that.  Although I only know I ran past her once in person and I only followed her on social media for a little over a month, I think that she has a spirit very much like mine.  Live.  Love.  Learn.  Share.  Count every day as a blessing.  Always look on the bright side of life.  

Total miles--1506.  Just keeping on moving. 

This morning I chose NOT to run

This morning I chose not to run.  I was ready to.  I had gotten up very early.  I had done more than an hour of work.  I had calculated that today would put me over 1500 miles for the year.  I had made buttermilk biscuits.  I had told the dog she could wait until I got back.

But I chose not to run.  

And even non-running days are part of the spiritual pilgrimage that I am on.

Why?

Because two and one-half weeks ago when I chose to run despite having a million things on my mind I ended up falling and having to wear a wrist brace for four weeks.

So, today, when I was taking the buttermilk biscuits out of the oven, I set them on the stove.  Problem was, they were too close to the edge.  Potholder hanging on a hook near the stove.  Hook was upside down.  Tipped the potholder.  Down it fell onto the pan.  Using a lightyweight metal pan rather than stone, it tipped and flipped all 20 biscuits onto the floor.  The dog got a treat.  I was almost ready to cry.

Why?

20 biscuits.  Not the greatest thing but not the end of the world.

But it was after a very long day.

The day was great for most of it.

I started with a 12 mile run with three friends.  Met one on the way.  Picked up her and she was surprised that I had a country music station on.  Got out of the car at my office building and ran through down town, up to Charles Village, across to Lake Montebello, and into vairous sections of east Baltimore.

Great run.

No mass this Sunday morning as I had gone on Saturday.  That day, one of the readings was Rom 13:8-10.  In reading this, where Paul summarized basically all the commandments that focus on how to treat others (as opposed to those that focus on our relationship with God), I realized that there is at least one thing I share in common with him.  Connecting the dots.  Seeing the relationship among the others-oriented commandments and saying "Love your neighbor as yourself."  It's that simple.  That is my kind of thinking for how to connect dots and nourish my soul.

We also had our annual block party yesterday.  And while I was just as happy for much of it to peopel watch and listen to good music, I did enjoy talking with several neighbors and eat good food.  

We also had the ice hockey kickoff celebration.  That was a lot of fun.

But two things were on my mind from yesterday.  First, my long time training partner thinks that she might be hanging up the running shoes.  I say thinks because it is hard to tell when a person is truly done.  But she has had so many injuries that just never seem to end that she is ready to be done.  We will see.  I know how much it is a part of her identity.  When that is true, it is hard to part with an activity.  

Second, a runner I'd just met this summer lost her life in a motorcyle accident yesterday.  She had run 50 races between her 49th and 50th birthdays.  Amazing and positive person.  Known to many in the local running community.

Two running losses.  One closer to me given how long I've known the two individuals.  One more immediate in terms of the total loss.

Those were on my mind.  Maybe they contributed to losing the biscuits as well.

But one way or another, it was clear that my mind was not 100% on running.  

So I chose not to run.

So, the dog got two treats this morning--my homemade biscuits to eat and an extra long walk where I didn't even take my cell phone with me so I could just focus on being safe.

Tomorrow I will run again.

There will be many days for me to run again.

And I will respect my training partner and friend most by running--and celebrating what we all love.  Even though at least one and possibly both will never celebrate that for herself again.   

A few thoughts

Since I wrote last after my run on 9/1, I ran on each of the 2nd through 5th. The second was an lighter progression run (just seven miles). The third was an easy run outside. Then the fourth was another track workout alone--this time 9x400 with a goal of 1:27. This week I had a little more variation from one interval to the next but still pretty consistent without looking at my watch a single time as I rounded the track. Friday was an easy 5 and today was a rest day.

I like having a Saturday rest day. That will not always be the case, but it was good--I got work and hosuework and cooking done.

My mileage for the year is up to 1486. I'll be 73 miles ahead of schedule (40 mile average) by Tuesday. On my question to virtually reach New Mexico, it puts me still on US-54 in Kansas but continuing my march across.

This week, I have two potential story openings. One from the track morning. The other from the easy run Friday.

Track morning: On that Thursday as he came around the home stretch heading east for each of the nine truly ivigorating 400 meter intervals he was running, he noticed that the sky was different--Orion was not visible in the darkness and Venus was not visible as dawn approached, but there were only gray clouds seemingly sent by the universe to remind him of a tumultuous week. 

Easy Friday: After a relatively cool summer, the fifth day of September was the fifth hot and super humid day in a row; so instead is fighting the weather as he had in a race earlier in the week he adapted, as he often found himself doing in life in general, and just enjoyed the 5 miles of time outside listening, watching, and moving.

What these sum up together is that life isn't always easy and I have to do a lot of adapting. And while I am much more engaged with people than I used to be, when all is said and done, I still observe a lot.

Recovery run and a few more thoughts on the race

Today’s run was an easy 3 in 29 minutes.  Almost as long to go 3 miles this morning as to go 4 yesterday. But that is the difference between a race and a recovery run.  Total mileage 1459.  I am going to be at almost 1500 by week’s end.  Given the goal of reaching 2000 miles by year’s end, that will put me three weeks ahead of schedule.  I will reach my goal and celebrate my virtual arrival at Our Lady of Perpetual Hope a bit early. 

Not much to write about from today’s run.  A few more reflections on yesterday. 

First, during the 90 minutes between when I finished the race and when they started awards, I drank 2 bottles of water, 2 diet Cokes, a regular Coke, and a Sprite.  I ate a bag of chips, a bag of chocolate chip cookies, and 2 Fig Newton bars.  I hadn’t realized quite how much fluid I needed as that is more than a half gallon of liquid.  On top of that, when I went to the state fair with Sherry after a shower, I ate a cheeseburger platter (including cole slaw and potato salad) and an ear of corn.  And at home I drank a lot of pumpkin beer.  (But not all at once.)

Second, the race had 327 finishers.  I was the last one who finished in under 2:30.  In addition to the heat, there was another reason the race was difficult.  At one point, I think I didn’t see anyone else in the race for a mile or maybe two.  Losing visual contact with anyone else is a big deal in a race.  That is how far spread out things got.  If you look at the list of finishers, the person one ahead of me finished 48 seconds ahead.  The person one behind me finished more than two minutes behind.  That is a lot of distance between runners.  I did see the Navy guy who finished ahead of me as he headed along Paper Mill Road and back to York Rd. Still, in addition to the perseverance I mentioned yesterday, this is a reminder that sometimes we are our only light.  Or, more correctly, a reminder that sometimes our only light comes from whatever we think of as that bigger force in the Universe.  Some of us call it God.  For others it is something else.  The key is that sometimes we cannot rely on other people to be the light and carry the way.  We just have to rely on ourselves and our sense of where we fit in the bigger picture and why we are here.  And the reason for the run. 

Which for me is part of how I experience and give glory to God.  My own running.  Encouraging others to run.  And the spiritual focus that mimics the physical focus as I mentioned yesterday.  As well as the mental focus and task focus that I try to bring to the rest of my life.