Freedom's Run Marathon--Part 3

The Freedom's Run marathon is so named because of the fact that it runs through some areas critical to Civil War history.  John Brown.  Harper's Ferry.  Antietam.  As I mentioned in part one of the story of this marathon, the race was preceded by a person singing some of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  The war ended with freedom for the slaves.  Part of the discussion around the war was states rights--freedom in a different way.  So there are lots of freedoms right there.

But I can think of other freedoms that went along with this race.

First, the freedom just to be the runner I want to be.  I run at crazy times.  I run a ton of miles.  I enjoy running with friends.  As we were chatting with someone along the river, I mentioned the people I train with.  He commented quickly that I don't train with any guys.  I think the last time I ran with a guy was one weekend last summer.  And occasionally there will be larger groups that include guys.  But I have the freedom to do what I want to--with two constraints.  I have to minimize the interference with my family life and I have to make sure I don't fall behind at work.  And I do both of those.

Second, the freedom to dream.  My last dream was getting below 3:10 in Philly.  This year had begun with no plan to run a marathon.  The marathon plan came in May.  And it feeds into my next dream.  An ultra marathon in South Africa.

Third, the freedom to share that dream.  In sharing that dream, I have the chance to inspire others.  And when I inspire others they share my dream.  And then they can help me with my dream.  My kids think I'm a little crazy but share the excitement of my dream.  My fellow runners all think it is an exciting dream to share.

Fourth, the freedom to run where I want and when I want.  That is also completely key.  I have enjoyed running around the city.  Through many areas.  From Belvedere Square to Patterson Park.  Canton and Federal Hill.  At crazy hours.  And when the freedom was limited, I was mad this spring.  I have learned not to take the freedom for granted.

Fifth, the freedom to run far.  And that freedom was showing on my face when I was running a sub-8 minute mile late in the race.

Sixth, the freedom to enjoy my success and the freedom to enjoy the success of others.  Running is a great sport as it is great to share the runs.  And that brings people close together.  And then on race day, it can be just as exciting (and sometimes more) to see and share the success of another as to succeed oneself.

Seventh, the freedom to recognize when the ties that bind become ties that constrain.  In preparing for the race, I had hoped just for once to run an entire race with a friend.  I'd never done that before.  When we reached mile 17 or 18, Lauren started to tell me I could go ahead.  I waited.  I even mentioned that if we were running the Marine Corps marathon rather than Freedom's Run that I'd feel compelled to stay--after all the idea of leaving no "soldier" behind (or runner behind in this case) is deeply ingrained in the US military.  But Lauren recognized the sixth freedom I mentioned.  She wanted me to succeed as much as she wanted to succeed.  And when she recognized the struggle she was having she wished only one thing--that I would succeed.  At that point, if I had not gone ahead, the ties that bound us as friends would have become the ties that constrained--unnecessarily.  Lauren ultimately could take care of herself.  I had no doubt of that.  And I was set free to run.  To be everything that I could be.  To prepare for the next dream.

Those are the many freedoms I have.  I sometimes take them for granted.  I live them all to the fullest.  

Freedom

It is 5 minutes until 7 on a Saturday morning.  I have already run 6.5 miles with a friend, walked my dog, and stopped to say the Serenity Prayer with Baltimore Back on My Feet after finishing my run and before coming home.  What a great way to start a busy day.

Yesterday was September 11.  Many friends took time to reflect on where they were when the planes hit the twin towers.  Or posted about always remembering.  Or posted about never forgetting.

Yesterday, I didn't do any of those.

But I did think about where I was.  (I had dropped my oldest off at school and the first plane struck while I was driving to work.  I arrived at the office of an anesthesiologist with whom I was to discuss collaboration and saw the second hit on a TV in his office.  I tried to work most of the rest of the day.  The sense of uncertainty and helplessness was profound.)  

I heard a story about kids who are now teens teaching even younger kids about 9/11.  I watched part of a documentary made a couple years ago about the children of 9/11.  

And I thought about my freedom.  I also thought about that in the context of another event for me yesterday.  It was not earth shattering.  It was just that the last PhD or DrPH student whom I am formally advising finished the final steps of getting her dissertation submitted yesterday.  She'd had her final defense.  Yesterday was the end of the administrative work.  And my submission of a letter saying she is done.

In the 19 years and three months that I have been at Johns Hopkins on the faculty, I oversaw 21 students completing their dissertations as their dissertation adviser.  (One was a co-advisor role.)  And there were another 5 for whom I was the adviser at some point but who finished (or are finishing with someone else).  And I have sat on many other committees for students.

But with my change in job from the School of Public Health to the Business School two and one-half years ago, I have not started advising any more students.  So, this is the end of this section of my career.  That is a choice.

Of course, a current student whom I have know for 3-4 years now and who has completed two years of medical school also visited me yesterday.  And when she told me that she had completed an ophthalmology rotation and decided that she wanted to do health services research and health economics as related to eye care--I almost cried.  Someone to carry on what I had begun.  That is incredible.  And she would do it as an MD/PhD.  That is her choice.  But the fact that it can fulfill a vision I had it what makes it so relevant to choices I had made.

Choices are great.  The freedom to make them--I cannot place a value on. 

Like the choice to run this morning starting at 5 o'clock.  I can run wherever I want and whenever I want.

Just like the choice of what religion to follow and how to follow it.

Just like the choice of where to live.  Where to send my kids to school What activities to sign them up for.

And I make a choice to carry on.  I make a choice to just keep on doing.  Or sometimes I make a choice to change.

The freedom to make the choices is what makes America a great place.  

That freedom is something I cherish.

That freedom is something I would never want to give up.

The freedom to write my story.  The freedom to rewrite my story.  The freedom to change the story when I want to.

It is all great.

And I will continue to enjoy that freedom.

That is why I note September 11. It was a day on which we were not sure how our freedoms and choices would change.  Some have been changed forever (like how we proceed through airports.)  But some are still very alive and cherished.  And will be celebrated always. 

So I end noting that four weeks from today I will run marathon number 7.  And it is called "Freedoms Run."  

Persevering--in Honor of NyAnn

Today I ran to honor NyAnn's spirit.  I ran inspired by NyAnn's spirit.  The freedom of outdoors.  Living to the fullest.  Never backing dow.

I left from my house and ran over to Regester headed toward Loch Raven.  First mile 8:04.

Second mile--on to Loch Raven, around the Mars and post office, and back to Northern Parkway to head more into the city--7:42.

Third mile--continuing along Loch Raven and onto Woodbourne--7:37.

I ran across Woodbourne to where it turns into Homeland--7:27.  

So far so good.  I was supposed to run 8:15 to start and get faster by 15 seconds per mile.  A little too fast to start but okay.

Then I ran across Homeland to Charles and turned north on Charles.  A good amount of up.  I could not get faster--7:28.

I continued north on Charles.  No faster: 7:32.

Then, I reached a much flatter area and thought to myself, I have a choice.  I can go for it or I can hang.  I said to myself, I am not out here just to hang.  I thought to myself--I am here to see what I'm made of and what I can do.  I thought to myself--persevere.  

So, I ran the last two at 6:59 and 6:55.

Then I ran home at 8:15.

I didn't hit the 6:30 I was supposed to and being stuck at 7:30's for an extra two miles was not on plan.  But I enjoyed the run overall.  I loved doing a progress outdoors.  I loved the challenge.  I gave it what I had.  I surprised myself by really pulling those last two down.  And I think that I captured the spirit that NyAnn lived out every day.

I hope to continue to do that.  Although I only know I ran past her once in person and I only followed her on social media for a little over a month, I think that she has a spirit very much like mine.  Live.  Love.  Learn.  Share.  Count every day as a blessing.  Always look on the bright side of life.  

Total miles--1506.  Just keeping on moving. 

40 Days to Better: Day 9

Today, I had my best track workout in a long time.  I ran 6, 800 meter intervals.  The first was around 3:05 and the last was around 2:55 and I got progressively faster.  I have to thank my track running buddy who has been out week after week recently. He leads most times but I lead on occasion such as the last 800 meter interval today.  It's all good.  He and my long-time running mentor think I should run a full marathon this fall (given how my track training is going and given that I have already done one 20 mile workout) but I have made a promise of no marathons until next fall at the earliest and I intend to stick to it.

Plus, I have figured out that for some reason my body truly enjoys the workouts although it does not always enjoy the races.  I like to run.  I like to run strong.  But I get "into my head" too much when I race.  So even if my workouts are not personal best times, just the freedom of doing what I want when I want is a great thing.  That freedom to just experience the world as it is and take it all in is that is part of the "40 Days to Better" today.

That freedom is nice.  I enjoy it quite a bit.  And I enjoy sharing the freedom to just run with others.  Not that I don't enjoy racing with others, but my races tend to turn into just that--races.  And I have never run all the way through a race with someone with whom I intended to run from the start.  So, that is why I can enjoy just going--whether with other runners or all alone.  And as my job changes to involve more time with others, I have begun to enjoy running alone again a bit more.

And as my personal life has begun to involve being present for people and having other people be present for me in ways that were not always clicking in the past year, I have begun to enjoy running alone more again.

Do I want to run alone?  Not necessarily.  Especially on the track I still value very much running with others.

But I realize that each type of running is a gift.  Running with others--the others are the gift.  Running alone--the time to just experience God's creation as it exists is the gift.

So, in the rest of life, I can take time to take things in as they are.  Experience.  Welcome.  Observe.  Just be.  And then take it along with me into the rest of my life.  As a part of myself.  As a part of what will make me who I am in the future.  Integrating each experience into the true me.