Changing with the Mood--or Permanent?

Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of attending a meeting regarding ways that numerous not-for-profit and for-profit organizations and some governments and academic researchers could come together to help people all over the world who need glasses (for either distance or reading) get them.  After some introductory comments, the meeting began with a talk by Madeleine Albright and then some questions and answers.  I had not known the story of her pins.  I seem to have missed that over and over again when she was the United Nations Ambassador and Secretary of State.  She told us some of the story of her pins.  What made the most impression on me was the fact that she could change her pins whenever she felt like it.  To fit the mood or tasks of the day.  To match what she needed to do.  Yesterday, she had on three eyeglass pins.  

Today, I ran eight miles on the treadmill.  I am planning on my first return to outside running on Saturday morning.  The eight miles included 4 at 6:40 pace at 4 at 8:00 pace.  Overall 7:20 pace.  With the intervals being one at 8, one at 6:40, 3/4 at 8:00, and repeating the 1 and 3/4 set three more times.  

That was a bit of changing with the mood.  Not actually.  I had planned out the workout very purposefully and specifically.  But it went back and forth.  Probably spent too much time at the slower pace as my heart slowed down quite a bit before picking it back up again.  But it was good.

The eight miles puts me at 281 for the year--over 50 days.  Interestingly, so far this week (Sunday to today), I have run 21.8 miles.  Changeable--the same digits rearranged.  The 281 miles put me still on US 40 in Ohio a bit east of Morristown.  

When I thought about Secretary Albright's approach to her symbolism, I thought about my approach to symbolism.  My tattoo--my main symbolism.

That is not changeable.  It is there forever.  The ideas changed up until I first spoke with the artist.  But then the ideas were there.  Just like my ideas for a second (if ever) continue to evolve.  I am now thinking cornucopia with red eggs (St. Mary Magdalene), bread (my love of baking), and golden apples (my love of teaching) coming out.

My actual tattoo right now does not change, but how I think of the symbolism changes.  And right now, I have to say that my vision of the strong woman helping St. Sebastian is mostly a vision of my wife and all that she has done in taking Christopher to what will be a total of five cities in the last six weeks.  She is a great mom.  

40 Days to Better: Day 31

Today's run was a simple 3.3 mile in between harder days run.  Nothing special.  Just sort of there.  Not that that was a problem.  Just a fact.

Before I ran I made two loaves of banana bread.  They were yummy.

Before I ran I walked the dog.  While walking the dog, I noticed the stars of Orion's belt.  That is one of the main constellations that you can see in the sky from my home when I am up before dawn.  I can't pick out many more than the belt and maybe a couple others.  I didn't study the constellations closely enough as a kid.

I was pleasantly surprised to see another Waldorf parent write a post about Orion on Facebook this morning.  She referred to Orion as strong and bright.  I didn't ask why she was either looking out the window or out before drinking her coffee (based on her post) but I did comment back on the beauty of the constellation.

The constellation is a symbol.  It may represent something that was real--or at least more real.  But it is just an image in the sky.  

An image is not a reality.  It may be close but it is not real.

This is in contrast with a comment I received later today.  After running my first all staff meeting including now close to 40 people in my office, I was approached by a staff member.  She told me that someone had told her before I came to my new position that she would find that I was the "real deal".  She told me that after six months she had to agree.  Not just speaking symbolically.  Not just an image of someone good.  But someone who really really is good.  

Why?  I saw something that was being imposed on the staff of my office, noticed that it was dysfunctional, and rather than simply saying, "We just have to deal with it," I took a pro-active role, brought it to a stop, and indicated that on my watch it would not continue until I had a chance to deal with those who were responsible for this particular activity to improve the process.  My staff likes being heard.  They like being valued.  The like having their work valued.  

What I find interesting is that I ask, "Well, who wouldn't notice?  What type of manager would not do something about it?  Who would leave their employees to feel undervalues, underappreciated, and marginalized?"  Apparently, there are other managers who might--or my staff member would not have had the reaction she did.

I am glad to be a "real" person to my employees who treats them as "real" people and is seen as caring about them. 

What I would hope is that all my friends and family would feel that way.

I know some do.

I know others sometimes do.

I know that others may question whether I am the "real deal" or not.

Coming back to trying harder that I wrote about yesterday, I want to try harder to make sure that everyone in my life can recognize me as the "real deal".

Will I succeed?  That, I cannot answer.

I can only strive to make it truth.