Helping Others to Help Ourselves to Success

This will be my final post about the Boston Marathon this year.  It's not often that I have several posts about a race that I didn't even run.  Yesterday, I talked about grit--how it influences our ability to finish marathons and do well at work.  Today, I want to comment on an article I read.  This Runners World article talked about all the hormones that get released when we help someone: endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin.  While Des (the women's winner) probably needed the endorphins in the marathon, not many of us will need to overcome pain during the average work day.  However, anyone at work can use dopamine that increases "motivation and focus" and serotonin that "boosts...mood" .  I know that in my workplace the fact that the "brain releases oxytocin when you feel a bond with another person" that can  help me  to "focus on the bigger picture," is also useful. 

Thinking of these three hormones together, I now have a new answer when people give me kudos for all the time I spend with and helping students,  I won't deny that the compliment makes me feel good.  But, whether I receive a compliment or not, the science of  helping suggests that just helping can make me feel good and gives me what I need to do the rest of my job even better.  This raises the question--if I need those shots of hormones each day to be the best I can, should I, then, try to schedule some "helping others" time each day?  Should I try to train myself to think of more of my daily activities as "being helpful" to others?  In summary, how do I use the science of helping others to inform how I structure my days, my weeks, and my years to provide a flow of all the helpful hormones to keep myself going at my best?

Grit in a Marathon and in the Office

I've written about the importance of grit at least once before.  I want to write about it again today for one reason.  While I am not racing any spring marathons this year, I paced two younger individuals through their first marathons in 2016 and 2017.  The woman I paced in 2016 ran Boston nine days ago.  The woman I paced in 2017 ran in Delaware three days ago.  Each ran faster than she did with me.  Did their talent improve?  Probably.  But they also had grit.  They knew how to keep themselves going--each better than in her first marathon.

Grit also played a role in the men's and women's overall winners in Boston this year.  In what sense?  This year's winners were not the most elite runners who were expected to win.  They were definitely elite runners.  But they were elite runners who knew how to stick it out.  In other words, they had grit.

The grit factor particularly applied to my friend who ran Boston this year.  In telling her story, she related tears at mile 15 and arms so sore at mile 18 that she had to ask a spectator to help her retrieve an energy gel.  But she kept going.  And she ran her second fastest of three marathons.

Will those who are simply fastest win most marathons?  Yes.  But when the conditions are challenging who has a better chance of an unexpected victory?  Those with grit.  Those who can keep pressing forward in the face of adversity.  Those who know how to continue to motivate themselves when the circumstances are not perfect. 

Is this relevant in the workplace?  You bet.  Talent is  important.  Skills are important.  But when the chips are down, we need people who can keep themselves going and share that grit so that their teams keep going when the situation is imperfect.  Those will be the long-term survivors who prove their value in situation after situation and who become valued, stabilizing members of their organizations.  I can't speak for the winners in Boston, but I am confident that the two women I paced through their first marathons bring their grit to the office and can make it through in their jobs in much the same way they did in their most recent races.   

Instinct

When I think my pup is slowing down,

Losing her spark,

And has less pep in her step,

It takes only one thing to get her

To look as speedy

And as nimble

As she has ever been.

Instinct!

As we trotted slowly this morning,

I saw a non-pet head bobbing at a corner

Ahead of us.

When we reached the corner,

My pup picked up the scent.

Then she picked up the pace.

And when the FOX was visible,

She took off at a sprint because of…

Instinct!

So, if I ever find myself

Doing work in which I am

Losing my spark

Or having less pep in my step,

I should return to my…

Instinct!

Connect, give, brighten others’ days.

Make lemonade out of lemons.

Realize that the lemons may actually be oranges.

Live by my INSTINCT

Rather than trying to live others expectations.

Twos

As of my 7 mile run this morning in the very light rain at about 37 degrees, I am up to 2055 miles.  No longer a quest for 2000 miles.  Now just trying to see if I can reach 2200 by the end of the year.  Then, I won't try (at least for a while) to run more in a year.

Yesterday morning was a bit of a crazy run.  I went out at about 3:45 for a run.  I needed to be home for a 4:30 AM call from colleagues in Durban.  In any case, I ran my 5 miles, came home, entered the data into my log of miles for the past several years, and looked at my cumulative total for the year. It was 2048!  And what was my first thought as I sat down to wait for the call from Durban--"Wow!  That's 2-to-the-eleventh [power] miles."

OK.  I know I love numbers.  And I know I love running.  But what kind of nerdy nut-case immediately thinks about the fact that his total mileage for the year is 2-raised-to-the-11th power miles.  And why do I even know that?

I found joy in halving and doubling as a child.  So I knew all the powers of 2 up to 65536--or 2^16.  Or 2^8 (a number that could be represented on one eight-digit byte of data) squared.

Amazing it is still so close to front of mind for me.

So, anyway, I thought I should reflect on eleven two's that have something (even vaguely) to do with my running this fall.

Here they are:

(1) An obscure reference I made to my wife after my run, saying I had "two chances to ask animals what time it was."  (This is another way of saying I saw two foxes on my early morning run with reference to the children's game, What Time is It, Mr. Fox?

(2) I had two pieces of semolina bread with olive oil and salt for breakfast yesterday morning after the run, the call, some work, and a shower

(3) There were two members on marathon relay team on Saturday.  And we both enjoyed the experience although we did not get a trophy as I'd been luck to do two years ago.

(4) In the past 11 days (as I write this) I had two race PR's.  I never thought I'd PR in both the marathon and the half that close to each other.

(5) In between the PR, I ran a Turkey Trot with two of my sons.

(6) After my races, I hand wrote two thank you notes.  As I noted on social media yesterday, "Thank You" is a very powerful thing to say.  It is an even more powerful thing to write out by hand in this day and age.

(7 + 8) In the marathon relay, to destroy my past running demons, I had to take two hills in the last two miles at a 7:10 pace or better

(9) In the past eight months, I've learned just how much the lessons that can help me to improve in two parts of my life (work and running) are so very similar.

(10) Between running and visiting family for the Thanksgiving holiday, I made two trips to the Philadelphia metro area in a week.  And that had made me very tired.

(11) On the day of the second race, my wife and I were doing two very different activities--skiing and running--where each asks of the other "why would you ever want to do that?"  But we each have our own thing and we stay happy and married. 

Running Isn't All There Is

Yesterday, I ran 13.9 miles.  I was supposed to run 14 but I hit 13.9 as I ran by my house, and I just didn’t feel the need to do another 0.1 yesterday.  Much last last weekend, I wasn’t feeling it.  I wouldn’t say, “Felt like crap”.  (Although if I had run another 6 miles maybe I would have.)  Instead, it just was not an inspired 14.

But that is okay.  Not every 14 has to be an inspired 14.

And if I look at the crazy week I have had, it is probably not so bad.

First, I had the trip to Ireland to sit on a dissertation final defense in which I left work around 1:45 on Tuesday, was on a plane to Boston at 4:05 for a connecting flight to Dublin.  Arrived in Ireland slightly before 8 AM on Wednesday morning.  Had a nice breakfast with a colleague and then was the external examiner for the defense which ended around 12:30.  Had lunch at a south Asian place in Dublin.  Then went back to the airport and was on a plane by 4:15 to return to the US.  I was home and getting ready for bed around 10:10 my own time. 

Went to work on Thursday.  Made it through a day that included a 9 mile track workout on the treadmill (uncooperative mother nature) and dinner at my boss’s house.  Had a personnel issue that rocked that day.

Then Friday was also a long day at work (personnel issues mostly resolved).  And I had to be up really early for the 13.9 mile run this morning.  When I hit the six mile mark and saw my pace and then flipped through to see the actual time, it was only 5:01 (AM!).  

Life lesson—there are only so many hours and sometimes only so many things can fit in.  Especially fit in and do well.  

Hope—while I don’t often take inspiration from Jimmy Buffet songs, “come Monday, it’ll be alright.”  (And I'm looking forward to Monday as today is an off day for running.)  

Regardless—13.9 miles at an 8:10 pace is not bad.  I have not missed significantly on any speed work.  I have missed two weekends in a row on long runs.

We will see what this all leads to.  As I said last weekend—all this work is really about one thing—minimizing the chance that I will not succeed at my goal of a PR marathon time.  But all I can do is minimize it. Life brings no guarantees.  

Other realization which I am coming to more and more as I talk with people about this fall’s Philly marathon—for the foreseeable future, this will be the last time I train this hard.  I can keep running the 5K’s and 10K’s.  I can run halves and even fulls.  But training myself to where I’m accumulating 60 miles a week to really improve my time has gotta be put on the back burner for a while. Maybe forever.

As for my virtual piligrimage, total—1638.  Still working my wife to Truth or Consequences.  Still on US 54. 

As for more than running, yesterday after the run I had the opportunity to go to a faculty summit for the business school and then attend the wedding of a cousin on my dad’s side.  All good.  Nice to be with family.  Even if the amount of my dad’s side of the family was quite small when all was said and done.  Best thing was a picture of the five men who are blood related in two generations on that side.  It was a nice shot.  And thinking about the life stories of the five men in this picture, it speaks worlds about the variety of experiences that we can have, the ways to raise kids, and the ways that we can make it in a satisfying life.  

Parallels in Running and Work Life

Four days since the last time I wrote.  And so much to think about.

Thursday, I did a nice track workout with 8x200, all under 40, increasing speed as I went along.

Friday, I did an easy 4 just to keep the legs loose.

Saturday, I tried once again to prove that all the track work, all the hill work, and my general approach to training would, in fact, lead to a sub-19.  And again, I didn’t make it.  The splits were not horrible.  But I ran a 19:36.  I can say now that I am done that 5000 meters at race pace on the track is not easy alone.  Even early in the morning.  Even on a flat surface.  My legs were tight.  I probably should have taken a day off this week.  And my stomach tightened at about 2/3 of the way through.  I had eaten late the night before and stayed up late. Perhaps I really will never go sub-19 again.  But in the end, it doesn’t matter.  I’ve learned a lot along the way.

So, this morning, I ran an easy 8—average pace just over 8:30.  I’m up to a total of 877 miles for the year.  That puts me on Old Manchester Rd as it swerves off Manchester Rd/Missouri Route 100/US-66.  So, I will be back at US-66 and then on US-50.  The connection with US-50 is interesting as it will take me through about 30 miles of running.  Driving, I’ll be on a much different part of US-50 next week as we go to Ocean City, Maryland, for the final lacrosse tournament of the 2014 spring season.

I share some thoughts about my running issues with someone who has been sharing my running journey.  There are some interesting parallels between my work life and my running life.  In my work life, we have a performance review system in which the supervisor is asked to provide goals, name strengths, list watch outs, and suggest important networks. 

For strengths my boss listed attention to detail, creativity, and connectivity.  I think that these are well reflected in my running as well as my work life.  I love data.  I love to analyze carefully what I have been running and what I need to run.  I try to make every workout just right.  (And I have found that I get something positive out of making every workout just right even if I do not meet my racing goals.  It shows that I am focused on the journey or process just as much as I am on the outcome.)  On the creativity and connectivity side, the connectivity is with people in the case of work.  I have also found ways to connect with people in my running.  And the creativity is finding ways to link running to all sorts of other things and write about the connections and ideas. 

For watch outs, he listed three: pacing for productivity, “getting to win,” and professional image.  The last translates into “maybe your academic writing has gotten you this far but you will need to ‘look good’ to get further—but some more suits.”  OK.  Does that relate at all to running?  Maybe.  I definitely think of myself as looking more like a serious runner in how I dress for my running now than I used to.  Pacing for productivity—faster decision making, more decisive, get things done.  I can relate to that in my running although the pacing for running can be up or down.  The key is getting it right.  Finally, on the “getting to win” point.  I’m not sure I’d call that having a “killer instinct” but there is an element of completion.  There is an element of seeing things through.  There is an element of making certain that things happen.  Mental toughness to see things through.  Again, I can relate it to my running inasmuch as I clearly have to get better at not just doing the workouts and preparation but at making sure that all is done well—including the “final presentation” (or the race).

For networking, there was a focus on networking with leaders in my performance review.  I think that hanging with very good runners is something that I have been doing and continue to do and finding the right runners to help me improve my own running is also key. 

The parallels between my work life and my running life are not entirely surprising.  What you see is what you get. Someone who pays attention a lot.  Someone who tries very hard.  Someone who can work step by step.  But someone who sometimes finds it challenging to bring everything together and produce an excellent and expected final outcome.