My Annual Review and Look Ahead

Here were my goals for 2014…

(10) Run.  Do it a lot.  But keep it in its place.  Use it as a focal point.  Use it for goal setting.  Use it for friendship building.  Use it to seek meaning.  I’d say I handled this one quite well getting in 2222.2 miles PR’ing at 3 outdoor race distances, and ending my running year with a sub-19 5K on the treadmill. 

(9) Keep teaching Sunday School.  I did this for the spring semester.  But then it ran up against numbers (3) and (1).  I am still involved in ministry at my parish.  Just in a different way. 

(8) Keep writing.  Did it and look forward to continuing to do it.  All good.

(7) Find a place for music.  I have been listening to a lot of music—between my oldest son graduating from the School for the Arts with his horn and piano foci and his now being a student at a conservatory and then my 15 year old continuing to sing in the Maryland State Boychoir.  I have listened to a wider variety of music on Spotify and elsewhere—including a lot of country for the first time in my life (my apologies to anyone whose country interests I ever criticized before).  And I have begun to define better how music relates to my worship experience—I need to sing rather than to listen to really make my worship experience as powerful as it can be.    

(6) Bake more.  I am not sure that I managed this one.  This also came up against (3).  But I have certainly kept baking and worked on a few new things (like fancy pumpkin and banana breads).  And continued to work with my sons, especially my now ten year old, to teach them as well.

(5) Take more pictures.  I did some of this.  I am trying to make sure that I carry my cell when I run and then use it to tell stories better.  And I have also used pictures of some of the things that I have had shared with me (like five stones from my last MPH advisee) and gotten pictures of me with other runners that have helped to highlight my year. 

(4) While I have access to all types of electronic technologies, put them down more. I am not sure how well I did on this one.  I still use my devices a lot.   

(3) Recognize my limitations more.  Definitely recognizing that I have to say no to some things and I have to think about my limits more.  This has affected numerous other goals. 

(2) Structure my time better.  Certainly did this to some degree to achieve my running goals.  Certainly did this with family to achieve the goals of getting the kids to all their activities.  Got some more sleep too. 

(1)      Remember that family comes first.  Done. Must continue.  Have run fewer races.  Have gotten more sleep to try harder to stay awake through events.  Have traveled less so that I could help with kids getting places.  Have made this my number one priority.

Now to look ahead.  But I am going to make this year’s a little more objective and a little more measurable and I will review them once a quarter rather than just once a year. 

(10) Run at least four days a week.  I’m not going to try to run more miles than I did this year (2222.2).  I’m not even going to shoot for 2000 miles in 2015.  There will be years in the future for other mileage goals.  This year I’m mostly going to aim to keep up my three quality workouts a week and one with Back on My Feet.  I hope to use running as all that it was last year for friendship and writing.  No other goals—right now.  Then, I will plan to do some cross training and/or weight training as well to keep up my overall health.

(9) Bake at least one pizza/stromboli and one other bread or cranberry sauce each week.  (In addition to general meal prep that I do most of in our household.)  This will hone and continue to develop my skills in the kitchen.  It is something I love. 

(8) Do something with art at least once a week.  This could be as simple as a pencil sketch.  It could be a photograph that I somehow process.  It could be an artistically posed photograph.  It could be appreciating art more in the same way that I will work on appreciating music more. It could be thinking about art that I’d like others to work on.  I’ve got ideas for a second tattoo, but that might be a marriage-ending incident if I do that.  Although with the passing of Mark Pacione and the focus on living a little more in the moment because you never know when the end will come (Mark was a healthy 60), I’d settle for a simple tattoo at this point.  Of all the things that I have though about for my second (cornucopia, golden apples, loaves of bread, cassowary, and red egg) the red egg (associated with Mary Magdalene who is the patron saint of a contemplative life) really speaks to me most.  

(7) Continue to work on appreciating music more in my life.  This might mean finding time to play an instrument I’ve learned before.  Working more with my mandolin (Bleak Midwinter would be an excellent song to play on the mandolin—or learning the chord progressions for old Hooters songs).  Or just appreciating the performances more from a critical listening point of view.  Many ways I can achieve this.  Goal—once a week of some time spent with music more than just having it on in the background.

(6) Blog once a week in my personal blog and once a week in my professional blog.  Of course, if I can fit in more, all the better. 

(5) Finish Decoding Spirituality—a series of essays I have written and am stringing together as a book—about  the ways in which I have worked to find meaning in the numbers around me throughout my life and the insights this has given me about how others might find meaning.  (Don’t worry—the conclusion wont’ be that everyone should be as numbers centered as I am.) 

(4) Sleep at least six hours each night.  Of course, all the experts say 7 or 8.  I would love to get 7 or 8 every night but I don’t know how I can possibly do all the other things I want to do his year (while continuing to recognize limitations).  But I don’t want to have an abundance of 4-hour or 5-hour nights sleep nights.  The best thing I can do for this—track and have an accountability buddy for my sleep in the same way that I have found that have accountability buddies for exercise makes such a difference. 

(3) Tell people “thank you” not just at the big times (like thanking Jackie after my PR in Philly and Lauren after my two person marathon relay) but for little things.  After the passing of Mark Pacione and several others who have been lost in recent years starting with Gerry Paradiso back in 2010, I have realized just how important it is to communicate appreciation to people as often as possible.  It doesn’t have to be a big production every time.  Sometimes a hand-written thank you note.  Sometimes a hand-written and hand-designed thank you note.  Other times just a high-five or hug with a thank you at the end of a run.  Sometimes a quick “thanks for taking the kids on a day I couldn’t” at home in the evening.  But always living a life full of gratitude to the amazing people around me.

(2) Stay in touch with friends.  In the past year I had reason to reach out to many friends from elementary school as I remembered the importance of people who had known me for a long time after my son and the young woman he had been dating for more than 3 years left for college as “just friends.” That led me to think about the importance of people with whom I spent a lot of time early in my life.  People who have know me forever. I have also realized how important accountability friends (last year for running) are.  They help me focus and keep it real.

(1) Family must stay #1.  No matter how much I run.  No matter how hard I work.  No matter how much I write.  Family is always first.  If ever there comes a year when that is obviously not true, I must reassess.

Happy 2015!

Self-Actualization

Yesterday (Sunday, November 10) I had a wonderful day that included a run with a training partner with whom I had not run in three months, teaching about the Beatitudes, preparing a homemade stromboli, and mass.  All four of these are part of what I think about when I consider Maslow's triangle--ranging from shelter, safety, and food up to self-actualization.

In particular, I was thinking about the issue of self-actualization during mass.  The worship band that I played with off and on for seven years, is now down to about seven people--two guitars, a drummer, a piano player, and three singers.  One of the singers does extra percussion sometimes.  And all but the drummer sing.  Still, the group sometimes jokes that it is now "20 More Days" rather than "40 More Days" since it is about half the size it used to be.

As I was singing along with the band as part of the congregation, I was considering whether I miss playing my bass.   I decided that there was really no question.  I do miss playing my bass.  But I also asked, what would I miss more?

Would I miss playing my bass more than teaching Sunday School?  No.

Would I miss playing my bass more than all the baking I do?  No.

Would I miss playing my bass more than running?  No.

On the running issue, yesterday was a particularly good day for running.  I was out on the NCR trail.  The trail was soft and somewhat soggy in places.  The running was soft on the knees and muscles and other joints.  We ran an 8 minute mile pace--a very comfortable pace compared to most of the training we had every done together.  There were colorful fallen leaves on the trail.  I met my training partner just as the sun was rising.  It was a beautiful morning. 

All three of baking, running, and teaching are more important to me than bass playing.  I had to give up something, so I gave up playing bass in the worship band.

Maybe I will return to playing bass at some point.  Maybe just for fun.  Maybe for a worship band again.

Or maybe I will finally learn to play the mandolin.

I guess it is a "first world problem" to have to choose which of several things that could all be important for self-actualization are the ones I will choose to continue and the ones I will choose to give up.

I have only ever commented that running is what I do to reach the top of Maslow's triangle--particularly contrasting it with running for basic safety and food.

As I think about my choice, baking is something that was traditionally for the lowest level of Maslow's triangle.  I am now doing it as part of my self-actualziation as well.  I find myself feeling a sense of fulfillment with my baking.

I also think that I achieve fulfillment in my teaching.  Being involved in the educational process is what I was meant to do in my career and in my work with the church.

It is so interesting to think about how all the pieces of life fit together and what brings fulfillment and what does not.  And what brings more and what brings less.  And how I have made choices and how I will continue to make choices.  It reminds me of the verses in Ecclesiastes about a time for things and a time not for things.  I have determined it is not the time for music.  It continues to be the time for other sings.

So it goes.   

40 Days to Better: Day 36

Today, I ran 6.2 miles at a decent pace just under 8 minutes per mile.  That was after baking two banana breads (easy recipe and needing to use up bananas) and making a pizza dough. Even the kids pointed out just how much bread we had in the house.  Some English muffins from the store, leftover chocolate chip and everything bagels homemade yesterday, and everything made this morning.  As a result, I will be able to take tomorrow off from making bread.

Then I walked the dog before I ran.  While I was walking the dog it was very quiet.  Barely even heard cars in the distance.  That silence was nice.  I'll expect to write more about that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I want to reflect on the Gospel verse I heard at St. Pius X church in Towson yesterday.  Here it is (Luke 17:5-10):

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith."

The Lord replied,

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,

you would say to this mulberry tree,

'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you."

Fr. Sam stated, although maybe not verbatim, that Jesus was essentially telling his apostles, you already have it in you, trust yourself.

What a message for me to hear as a person.  As a dad.  As a manager.  As a (hopefully) leader and not just a manager.  As a runner.  As a teacher.  Perhaps even as a husband, although that is the one that I know I have to work on the most to prove that I have what it takes and to prove that I can trust myself to know how to be a good husband all the time.

Now, I have heard the message of do what matters from The Answer to How is Yes.  I have heard that if I am not giving my all I am sacrificing the Gift, from Steve Prefontaine.   And I have yesterday's Gospel reading as guidance to add on top of that.

Tying the three together, the book by Peter Block tells me, "you have the power to make the world a better place."  Steve Prefontaine didn't say what anyone could necessarily do with "the Gift" but that by giving my all I could use "the Gift" to its fullest.  And now, "you have what it takes".

So how do I tie this all together as I move ahead.  

I have to realize I have what it takes.  I have to recognize what I have.  I have to make the most of what I have.

However, good outcomes are not guaranteed.

But satisfaction in life is.  Would this be it for everyone?

I can't say.  I suspect some don't look for such fulfillment.