Last
night I attended a wake service for Mark Pacione. St Pius X church on York Road just north of
the city/county border just outside Baltimore City was packed to standing room
only. The line of people waiting to say
something to Carol Pacione and her family was amazingly long before the service
and went for an amazingly long time after the service. The church was supposed to close at
nine. There were still dozens of cars in
the parking lot well after nine when Sherry and I left the building.
I have not
been to many Catholic wake services. But
this was amazing. I won’t claim this is
a play-by-play recounting. By to help me
continue to process the passing of someone who was only 60, I am going to
reflect on the elements on the evening I found most moving.
First,
the church’s worship band played some prelude music and throughout the
program. Their prelude music—when I
believe it is appropriate to have as many solos as they might like and the
music is intended for contemplation—was lovely.
I quickly noticed that the piano was being played by someone other than
the typical piano player these days. The
typical piano player is a wonderful person whose piano playing is usually a
nice accompaniment to what the guitars are doing. The piano player last night is just at a
different level and added some improvisations that brought the music to life in
a different way. There may be some who
would debate just how much improvisation there should be and how much the piano
or the guitar should lead, but my personal preference is for the type of
piano/guitar mix I heard last night.
Second,
the fact that the church was full was amazing—because nearly everyone
sang. It sounded like everyone sang even if there may have
been a few listeners in the crowd. That,
more than anything else, made the evening an incredible one. The opening song was Come Holy Spirit. For those
who believe there is such a thing as the Holy Spirit, there was no question of
the presence of the Spirit last night.
Before the song, during the song, after the song, the entire time. This part of the experience reminded me of
Matthew 18:20 “For
where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of
them.” The gathering last night was much more than two.
And God was certainly in our midst last night.
Third,
the singing. There was a version of Amazing Grace in the program that the
worship band has played dozens of times.
And it usually played in a way with at least some of the verses of the
original Amazing Grace being sung by
a soloist with the congregation then singing the modern added refrain. While the song started with only one singer
from the band, the congregation quickly joined in. (Not everyone was from St. Pius X and used to
the way it is usually done.) To hear the
entire congregation sing out the verses of Amazing
Grace with strong voices almost brought me to tears. I had a hard time holding it together to
sing. But that is what worship and
praise music means to me. Worshipping as
a congregation. Praising God as a
congregation. In this case, celebrating
the life of a great man as a congregation.
Fourth,
Father Sam Lupico was on fire. His homily was amazing. So much near shouting—for joy! So much emotion. So strong a representation of what everyone
hopes will carry on long after Mark’s life. Even before the homily, when he
read the Gospel he talked about switching from what was listed in the program
to a reading from Matthew. When he began
the reading with “When he saw the crowds he, he went up on a mountain…” I knew
where this was going. He had preceded
the reading with a comment on how discussion with the family had led to this
reading. I knew what the reading would
be. The Sermon on the Mount with the
Beatitudes. The Beatitudes that are
written on the eight stained glass windows around the church. The Beatitudes that Fr. Sam focuses on in his
homilies even in weeks when we are not reading from Matthew 5. The Beatitudes that, to paraphrase Fr. Sam,
if anyone believed and lived them it was Mark.
Fr. Sam’s homily last night was the closest I have ever experienced to a
Catholic revival. Everyone cried and
laughed and shouted Amen and understood just what Mark believed and lived. It reminded me of a meeting for this year’s
youth who will be confirmed at St. Pius X.
Mark had shown a video that led in with “don’t get confirmed, BE
confirmed.” In other words, live your
faith. And Mark certainly did that.
Fifth,
there were several speakers who had the opportunity to make comments about Mark
after the singing of Amazing Grace. One
focused on how mark was present for everyone.
I try to be present for everyone.
I know I fail sometimes. But it
was clear that Mark was able to capture that feeling of just being there for
you. I have already commented on the
presence of the gathering last night. It
was wonderful. I try to live my life
with presence for others. Being present
has a lot to do with being a symbol of God for others—going back to being
confirmed rather than just getting confirmed.
That goes along with recognizing God in others and living a life of
gratitude when you tell others what you appreciate. That symbol is a part of my goal (3) for the
coming year (I talked about this on December 31, 2014)—to say thank you even
for little things. I was able to put
that to work immediately after we left the church last night. We stopped at the grocery store and I chose
to go to a cashier rather than going through the self-check line. The young man took the time to carefully and
thoughtfully bag everything to use the smallest number of plastic bags and not
risk crushing anything. The care that he
took was notable and I made sure to say “Thanks. Not everyone does that.” And he seemed to appreciate that. A reminder that there is the opportunity to
be grateful to and present for everyone
in our lives.
Sixth,
one gentleman who had worked with Mark for more than 30 years including when
Mark helped to organize World Youth Day in Denver and then the Pope’s visit to
Baltimore in the 1990’s. This gentleman
commented that Mark is probably already on the planning committee for the Jesus’s
second coming. That got a laugh from the
entire congregation. Mark was an
organizer. And could inspire others to work with him for the faith.
Seventh,
the other thing that many mentioned was Mark’s focus on family, friends, and
faith. I have already discussed faith,
the Holy Spirit, the gathering, and the presence that was felt at the church. But it was clear that Mark also loved his
family and was appreciated by many friends.
And the line between who was just a friend and who was part of Mark’s
family was a very blurry one. Everyone
there last night was clearly family
in some sense of the word.
Eighth,
while at the service and waiting in line after the service to give my
condolences to his family, I saw so many families and so many youth and young
adults whom I had known for the 18+ years we have been at St Pius X—or at least
as long as they had been alive. Some of
them I had taught when they were 9 or 10 or 12.
Others I had simply watched. The passing
brought together families in some amazing ways.
And seeing kids whom I have known for so long is always a heart warming
experience.
Ninth,
it allowed me to connect with some friends in faith I have not seen for quite
some time. So important at a time like
this.
Finally,
when Sherry and I reached Mae and then Carol and her family the length of the
hugs exchanged when there was nothing to say but “I’m here.” Mae said “Thank you for being here.” All I could think of to say was “Of
course.” And when I reached his daughter,
I actually had a story to share. I
recalled her running the Chicago marathon.
I recalled both her mom and her dad being worried. And I recalled the day when she did it as one
on which there was tension and a sense of relief and pride when she
finished. She talked about her dad joining
her to finish. I talked about sharing my
running with two of my three boys. She
also mentioned not running now as she is expecting and we joked about the very
pregnant woman who had run the Chicago marathon and given birth almost immediately
afterward. That joking was a light
moment. But more importantly, the primacy
of family lives on in a new generation who were already and will continue to be
inspired by Mark’s example.
Mark’s
niece restated something that had been noted in the eulogies—keep saying Mark’s
name to keep his spirit and all he stood for alive. I don’t think there will be any shortage of
thoughts and discussions of Mark in the coming week or weeks or even months or
years. And everyone last night will be
inspired to keep the vision that he provided for the life of the laity in the
Catholic church alive.
No comments:
Post a Comment