The Spirituality of Advent, Day 7, Week 1

I was originally going to write a mostly reflective piece looking back at what I had written during the first six days of the first week of Advent.  However, yesterday I stumbled upon a quote from Pope Benedict that I think is quite interesting:

To have Christian hope means to know about evil and yet to go to meet the future with confidence. The core of faith rests upon accepting being loved by God, and therefore to believe is to say Yes, not only to him, but to creation, to creatures, above all, to men, to try to see the image of God in each person and thereby to become a lover. That's not easy, but the basic Yes, the conviction that God has created men, that he stands behind them, that they aren't simply negative, gives love a reference point that enables it to ground hope on the basis of faith.

Even for readers who do not share my faith in God, I think this is a powerful set of ideas.  Hope means that despite all I know is wrong with the world--whether I am thinking about the world as a whole or my little piece of the world--I go forward with confidence.  Not only do I meet the future with confidence, but I meet each and every day with confidence.  I start the morning with confidence.  I parent with confidence.  I go to work with confidence.  I even run with confidence.  Everything is done with confidence.

Saying Yes to a higher power is saying Yes to creation.  Yes means engaging with.  Yes means interacting with.  Yes means love not in the sense of romantic love but love in a sense of a basic caring for others.   A love of humanity.  A love of nature.  A love of the world.  A caring for the world.  A realization that there is a role of stewardship for the world.  

And it fascinates me that Pope Benedict used the expression of saying "Yes".  Because in my last set of reflections (40 Days to Better that began on September 1 and continued until the Baltimore running festival), I commented many times on the book The Answer to How is Yes.  I never would have guessed that Pope Benedict and an author of a book on management would have used the same phrasing.  That, no matter what the question, the answer is to do.  The answer is to achieve.  The answer is to move forward.  The answer is to choose what is most important and to act.

What Pope Benedict might have thought guides those decisions and what Peter Block thinks guides those decisions may be substantially different.  But from whatever world view, from whatever view of a higher power, from whatever view that motivates morality, the key here is that hope means believing in an intrinsic good of the human spirit, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and moving forward to make the world a better place despite the odds.  

I know that I have been blessed not to have the odds stacked against me too much in my life.  But believing that I can help to do something to make the world a better place for someone despite the odds is so me.  

40 Days to Better: Day 39

This morning's run was supposed to be an easy 4 mile run just to get the legs to be loose.  Nothing major, now it is a matter of waiting, although I will sneak in a run on the day before the race.  And sometimes, to quote the song (for the second straight day I am quoting a song) from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "Waiting is the hardest part."  Waiting the last few days before a big race is almost always like this.  Although this taper is not the same as any other taper I have ever done.  Waiting is still hard.

What I actually ran this morning was--nothing. I don't think that running with a resting body temperature over 100 is a good idea.  So, that makes this taper even more unusual than any other. 

That is an important lesson to teach my kids.  Waiting is important.  Patience is important.  Some things can take a while to become a reality.

One thing I had to wait for recently was to see what type of story was written about my combined Boston/Baltimore experience.  In the end, the part of the story that got the most attention was about my thinking about the eight year old who died.  Apparently that is an attention getter as this is the second time that something like this has gotten someone's attention for a story.  Even six months later.  I like the fact that my shoes got a mention.  But I had to wait more than a week to find out how a 30 minute conversation turned into an interesting story in the Sun.

This is also an important lesson to teach students and others I mentor or lead professionally.  Waiting.  Patience.  Making sure that everything is in place.  Then making a decision and taking an action.

Leadership is something that I have thought a lot about since I changed jobs and a lot since I have started the forty days to better.

I have looked at some changes in my leadership in the past six months.  I have talked to the people on my organizational chart a lot more.  (I was supposed to yesterday afternoon but instead went home to sleep.  My voice would not have been in good shape by the end of an afternoon of talking constantly.)  When I run meetings, I don't always sit at the head of the table any more.  I try to be part of the group, even if I am nominally the head of the group.  I also have made it a point to make sure that everyone gets a chance to express an opinion.  I have made it a point to follow up more quickly on things.  So many changes.

The book, The Answer to How is Yes, pointed out a term called social architecture.  It talked about things like choosing where to sit.  Choosing how to position the table.  Choosing how to show priority or equality.

I know I still have a lot to learn.  A lot to learn about leading.  A lot to learn about mentoring.  A lot to learn about helping others to achieve all they have the potential to achieve.

And the learning will probably continue for as long as I am in leadership positions.  This is not a once and done type of thing.  This is part of me for the long haul.  

40 Days to Better: Day 19

An originally unplanned day off from running.  Although after running four days in a row that included my best track workout in a long time and my best 10K on the roads possibly ever, I'm not worried.  Tomorrow I will do either 10 or 13.1 in my continuing quest to run a great half marathon on October 12.  We will see what the new day brings when it gets here.

In the meantime, I have a thought from yesterday.  I have mentioned before that I had a very insightful leadership coach.  This type of person can go by different titles.  She works in an organization within the University called talent management and organizational development.  The key is that when I took the position she helped me to assess the situation and to consider ways to improve the probability of success though my leadership around or through certain complexities in the organization and in interpersonal issues.

Along the way she has also recommended a number of books including The Answer to How is Yes by Peter Block.  (I don't have any particular reason the support Amazon, but the link I have provided was just the easiest way to get to the book.)  The book has brought up a lot of issues for me.  The basic premise is that a person should focus on what really matters rather than on just getting everything done that is forced on them by the outside world.  We have the opportunity to play a role in constructing our own reality.  The concepts of intimacy (presence and reality), idealism, and depth are important.  The author realized intimacy (as defined above) dealing with his own body through returning to a sport.

The fact that the author writes about what matter and dealt with this through (at least in part) sport make it seem like the coach chose this just to help and challenge me.

The section I am in at present is even more challenging.  The author describes instrumentalism.  What he calls acting as part of the system designed to maximize the production of stuff.  (I'm paraphrasing.)  He strongly contrasts economics (about maximization and productivity) with art (generally capturing the idea of seeking meaning).  The author writes about these as if they are mutually exclusive.

Perhaps he only means to suggest that in their archetypes they are mutually exclusive.  Perhaps I would agree with that.  Where I struggle with this part of the book is that I was trained for five years in graduate school as an economist.  But I (and many others who study economics) love the arts.  In fact, I see seeking meaning (e.g., this blog itself) as valuable.  In fact, economists around the world have been trying to figure out how to place a dollar value on ideas.  (Perhaps that is the quintessential example of what Peter Block is trying to get us to avoid--why does an idea need a dollar value other than for the sake of calling it productivity?)

I don't think that people who seek to do things efficiently are necessarily any less likely to seek meaning.  I don't think that people who do things to maximize their wealth and well being necessarily are any less likely to be able to set their personal ambitions aside and to think about the well being of the whole.

Is there a tension?  Of course.  But at least for me that tension is healthy.

That tension guides me to make sure that what I am doing in all parts of my life is consistent with a higher purpose.  Consistent with some sense of spirituality.  Consistent with being better than just being "all about me".  Consistent with being the best I can be for all of those for whom I choose to be present and intimate (in Peter Block's sense of the word).

Recognition of that tension can then help to continue to guide me to being better.  I have to manage that tension.  Even within doing "what matters" there are competing goals.  There are competing interests.  There are competing ways of realizing what I feel in my heart I have been called to do.  There will always be tradeoffs (says the economist in me) while I find ways to realize what matters most.  On my lon term road to better the "most" part (beyond the well being of my wife and children) evolves over time and my capacity to realize it in a variety of ways changes as I gain experience and as my body ages.  

The "Intimacy" of Making Soft Pretzels from Scratch

Someone at work recommended I read a book with the curious title, The Answer to How is Yes.  With the subtitle, "Acting on What Matters".

With that in mind, I have been reading the book here and there and it talks about need to have a sense of idealism, a sense of intimacy, and a sense of depth in our relationships and in what we do to really figure out what matters in shaping our world.

So, when this author uses intimacy, and the intimacy that I refer to in the title of today's blog entry has nothing to do with physical passion.  Rather, the author, Peter Block, describes it as being about "the quality of contact we make.  It values direct experience over electronic or virtual experience.  It is immersion into the world of feelings, connection with the senses, and vulnerability..."

Well, I'm not sure that in this case I have immersion in the world of feelings about my pretzels (although they do certainly satisfy hunger).  And, I don't have a sense of vulnerability about my pretzels.  But making homemade soft pretzels is all about engaging the senses.

I could just make homemade bread and have engagement of the sense of smell while it is baking and taste when it is done.  But when you make them from scratch and hand knead it, it totally adds to the sense of how the senses are used in baking.

The dough has a certain feel.  And after having done this a sufficient number of times you just know how the dough is supposed to feel to be done.

The dough has a certain look.  Again, after having made yeast-based doughs so many times, I just know how it is supposed to look when it is done. And it is fantastic to watch the dough go from the small mixture when you mix all the ingredients together to when it has risen.

The smell--as mentioned already and something you can get with a bread machine--is amazing.

And finally, even the sound that it makes during the kneading process.  The rhythm.  The way it comes together.

It is soothing because it gives the baker who bakes from scratch a sense of knowing that something is happening.  Something is being accomplished.  And, I am responsible for making it happen.

That is a sense of intimacy using it as Peter Block defines it.  It is a sense of being in touch with the world around me.  And having something that I can make happen in the world.  Even though I know that it is nature and the wonder of what God created to see how the whole process fits together.  The yeast that brings the dough "to life".  The butter that gets mixed in when I make soft pretzels. The sugar that goes in while the yeast proofs.  The salt that gives the dough a little contrast in flavor in addition to whatever role it serves in the chemical process.  And the flour that makes it all stick together.

It is simply amazing.