May There Be Words

May There Be Words

Word are powerful things.

There are times when I have used them to hurt.

The volume.

The tone.

The meaning.

And when they hurt someone else they ultimately hurt me too.

Emotionally and spiritually—and perhaps ultimately physically

As hurt is never something I look back on

And feel good about.

But most of the time I use them for positivity.

Describing.

Presenting.

Teaching.

Talking about my passions.

Seeking meaning.

Longing.

Cheering on.

Cheering up.

Thanking.

Wishing.

Loving.

Healing myself.

Praying for healing for others.

Inspiring.

For some of us words come as easy as does

Music

Or dancing

Or visual art

Or other forms of expression do for others.

But for me it is words.

Always words.

Written words are easier than spoken words.

But both come.

Having the words come is a blessing.

Continuing to have the words come easily

Is an answer to my prayers for

Clarity and expression.

Praying that words will come for others does not guarantee they will.

But I know there are friends who need words

In their lives

Right now.

I pray they find them.

And that they fall on receptive ears.

A Day at the Beach

Yesterday I hopped on the treadmill at the Windrifter where Sherry and I are staying.  I haven't used a treadmill for pure mileage (as opposed to gauging my time in a progression run) in quite some time, but I did yesterday.  And I did not push the speed.  I ran 7 miles in one hour.  Just accumulating more miles.  I am now at 1061 as I plan to hit 1082 by the time we return to Baltimore.  1061 puts me about 8 miles west of where County Route 240 meets US 54 in Collins, Missouri.  Another town with no Catholic churches but a Baptist church.  The world needs all the prayers it can get.   

The treadmill is something that some people find boring because there is often little variation as it is used and there is certainly no change in scenery.  So, maybe some people will find this entry a little boring as it repeats a theme I have been focusing on all week.  The simple things that a couple can do together to make their relationship go around and to keep it going in a very positive way.

Yesterday after I ran, I came back to the room and fixed breakfast.  Once again a yogurt parfait of vanilla yogurt, granola, and three types of berries.  All good and I had the same thing as Sherry this time.  My stomach did not react negatively which suggests to me more strongly than ever that what got to me in Ocean City (in the digestive week from hell the week before Father's Day and my slowest 5K race in a long time) was something in the water in OC or someting on a fresh fruit or vegetable that I was served.  

In any case, after that we were both online for a bit as we tried to decide what to do for the day.  In the end we decided to go to the beach.  Specifically Brewster Beach.  It was an interesting beach on Lake Winnepsaukee as there are two small docks with starting blocks for swinning on one end.  They use pool ropes to section off the area to run swimming lessong and they have a local pool team.  It is a pretty interesting way to run the local water sports.

The beach itself is small and seemed to attract everyone from us (first time on a beach all summer and fair-skinned enough to show it) and some others like us to those who were well tanned.  Moms with kids.  Young couples. And a pair of mallard who ruled the beach.  They were so comfortable around people that the male walked right up to and over our blanket twice--not paying any attention to us.  And he stole a Dunkin Donut hole right out of a little boy's hand.  The beach had two guards who were very good--directing away a boat that had pulled up too close to the area they were guarding and keeping kids and parents on the straight and narrow.

We spent about four hours there and left just in time.  While it did not start thunderstorming while we were on the 5-7 minute drive back to the Windrifter, it did rain really hard once we got back.  

While there?  We mostly just hung out.  No tension.  Just together.  Enjoying the sun but trying to avoid burning.  Did not bring a book to read but did check email on the iPhone occasionally.  Got in the water that was cool but refreshing.  I didn't swim but Sherry did.  Ate the lunch that I had made of peanut butter and honey on wheat. Sherry had also packed us each a banana.  I threw out the trash for us both.  On our way back from the beach we took a little detour just to see what is at the end of Clark Rd--a small park called Clark's Point.  It was a lot of fun.

Back at the Windrifter we showered and hung for a while mostly answering emails and doing other stuff online.  We then went to dinner at Wolfe's Tavern at the Wolfeboro Inn. It was a very nice place for dinner.  We had an Adelsheim Pinot Gris to go with an appetizer of mussels with veggies and then Sherry had a shrimp pot pie with lobster sauce and I had grilled chicken.  Dessert was a flan for me and a cobbler for Sherry.  Both were excellent.  Dinner was nice as aside from getting a text from our son, we carried on a conversation the entire time.  No electronics (after I got done looking up wine options).  Just us.

And that is how we have been spending vacation.  Just us.  Together and focused.  Day after day.  Maybe a theme that is as boring as a treadmill run to some.  But refreshing and renewing and affirming and strengthening for me and Sherry.  All good.  

More Simple Gifts

Today, I had my first run in New Hampshire--ever.  Some places I go I have run at conferences.  But I have never been to a conference in New Hampshire.  In fact, as mentioned yesterday, I haven't been in New Hampshire since I was 9.  So I probably "ran" somewhere at that time.  But it was just that as a kid I was running as part of play.  Rather than running for the sake of training.  Although, I have commented before that running is one of my grown up forms of play.  Today's run can be seen at http://connect.garmin.com/modern/activity/532704711 with all the hills in all their glory.  Mostly down for the first mile and a half.  Then back up.  The mostly down for the next two miles.  Then back.  All good.  I even spent a half mile in and a half mile out on the local cross country trails.  

Where does that put me on my virtual pilgrimage--at mile 1054.  That is 14 above 40 per week for the first 26 weeks of the year.  Definitely at or beyond where I planned to be.  I think I am in a great position to make my goal by year's end.  In the meantime, I am on the outskirts of Weaubleau Missour on US 54.  No very nearby Catholic churches.  There is a Baptist church in Weaubleau.  I would have to think about what type of direct exposure I have had to Baptist churches. If this run were really across America rather than only virtually across America, I would probably stop for the sake of learning about the Baptist church a bit.

So, the run was slow.  8:55/mile.  It was a great way to see the area.

And that brings me to another day of simple pleasures after my run.  Sherry and I started from Wolfeboro, went to the Castle in the Clouds (a fascinating mountain top estate in Moltonborough, NH), and then went to the the outlet mall in Tiltin, NH.  That allowed us to circumnavigate Lake Winnipessaukee.  So much like my run of going out and back, we went out and back together.  We spent the long day together from chatting even before I ran (I didn't mean to awaken her at 6), the my fixing her breakfast when I came back (a yogurt, granola, strawberry, blueberry, blackberry parfait), to the drive to the castle, to seeing "The Pebble" and the Falls of Song at the first stop, to seeing a cool scenic overview, to walking around the house at the top and reading all the interesting notes about the historial details together, to having lunch at the cafe.  It was a big lunch.  Each of us had a soup as part of our appetizer.  I had clam chowder.  Sherry had a lobster stew in a tomato base.  Both were good.  And both were serious bowls.  We also got Bavarian pretzel bread sticks with an awesome cheddar sauce.  That was a lot.  Then I got an English pub burger while Sherry got a lobster roll.  We needed the lobster role explained to us.  Our very pleasant waitress, Rachel, was surprised we needed lobster rolls explained to us.  We topped it off with a chilled bottle of crisp white wine.  Not usually wine for lunch, but it worked on the warm day on the patio.  We took long enough and ate enough that the wine didn't affect us.  We got a book at Lucknow (the original name of the estate) at the gift shop. Then we drove to Tiltin.  We started with cold drinks from Starbucks.  Then we went into nearly every store that sold something other than just kid stuff.  In the end we bought only four items.  But it was a great way to walk off the food and fullness from the huge lunch.  I carried everything we bought to allow Sherry to have her hands free to look and try a few things on.  Then we drove back together.  Sat together catching up on emails.  Then, I served water, cherries, and chocolate.  We didn't need much food.

But once again it was just about being together.  Enjoying presence.  

And tomorrow will be another great day starting off once again with a run.   

Two Days Off

I have not moved an inch on my virtual pilgrimage since the last time I wrote on Saturday.  So, I am still 1047 miles from where I started at the beginning of the year.  It is kind of cool that that is 47 miles further than I was at this time last year (as mentioned before).  I decided to take two days off as I didn't want to get up super early to run on the day we drove from Baltimore to Wolfeboro, NH (it took us nearly 11 hours including a stop for lunch, a stop for gas, a stop to orient ourselves near the end, and some traffic tie ups), and I decided that an extra day of getting 7 hours of sleep would be better for me than getting up really early.  I still can get 35 miles during the rest of this week pretty eaisly.  

So, today, other than mentioning the fact that I did not run, I am not going to talk about running.  Today's dots to connect were not steps on the running path.  Today's dots, instead, were mostly walking steps.  Today instead of running with someone I had been training with for several years (no matter who I run with it is usually someone I've known for a while now) but instead, my wife of 22 years.  And the nourishment of the soul--just enjoying presence.

Today was the first day of vacation without having to drive.  We began the day with a relatively late start.  We went to the office of where we are staying fr a donut and some coffee and OJ.  Then, we went to the grocery store.  A big deal?  No.  Romantic?  Not particularly.  But something we did together that we don't usually do together.  Something that we had to make decisions together.  How did we want to plan breakfast?  How many dinners?  What did we want to have?  (Turned out we bought groceries for two dinners so far--tacos and spaghetti.)  How about lunches?  What about beverages?  Did we want to use bottled water?  How about some energy bars?  What about wines to try?  (A sweet Malbec and a local Reisling.)

Then we came back.  Hung out a bit.  Made reservations for the 4th of July dinner dance and cruise on the lake.  Then I made lunch with her help (again, something we don't often do and we did it in the little kithcen in our studio sized condo unit).  The lunch was simple--organic peanut butter and unfiltered honey sandwiches on wheat.

Next we went into town.  Left a little after 1.  Got back just past 5.  The walk from the Windrifter to the edge of "downtown" Wolfeboro is almost exactly a mile.  We went in almost every little store in the downtown area.  Gift stores.  Consignment store.  A store that provided temporary henna tattoos (neither got one) where Sherry bought headbands.  A store with spiritual books--like several that talk about the important of being present in life).  Looked at swimsuits.  Looked at beer.  Looked at cheese.  Bought a maple sugar mead.  After several hours of walking and looking we bought less than 1/4 pound of fudge and split it.  Then we stopped on the way back and bought cold beverages.  Hours of walking together.  Being together.  Buying just one or two things.  Talking to each other.  Talking to sales people and store owners.  It was not so crowded that we ever felt rushed.  It was possible to have a conversation with almost every one.  And we coudl both particiapte in the conversation.

When we got back, we chilled with email for a bit and then I cooked tacos and served the Malbec with dinner.  After dinner we went for ice cream.  Small ice cream meant quite a lot of food.  Finally, we headed to Carry Beach and sat on the edge until the sun was all the way down.  

Spending an entire day together at an easy pace--not rushing anywhere--was a gift.  It is a gift we get all too rarely.  Do we have to go nearly 600 miles to get it?  I hope not in the future.  Would having more such days be helpful?  You bet.  

But I will take every one and count it as something special forever.

A Week of Running Brings Me to "Potato" Lake

Since my last blog, I have run an additional 47 miles making 60 for the week—my second longest running week ever.  At this point, I will rest tomorrow, run 35 in the coming week, and be ready for Philly training to officially begin on July 7.  With those 47 miles, I have now gone 1047 miles total.  On my virtual pilgrimage from Baltimore to New Mexico (2000 miles of running for the year) I find myself on Missouri Route 254 near Pomme de Terre Lake.  For those who might now know, Pomme de Terre translates from French to potato in English.  So, there is a "Potato" lake in Western Missouri.    

The week of running has included an easy 4, 7 on the track including 8x800 with the pace starting at 3:26 and coming down to 3:03.  Then all purpose mileage runs of 7.7, 7.5, and 5.8.  This morning, I rand 3 by myself (starting at about 5:35) and then 12 with my running partner.  15 is the second longest distance I have run this year.  While I had my stopwatch going for the three alone to make sure I got back to the meeting place in time, I turned my stopwatch off when I met my friend.  We ran from the approximately half mile point where the parking lot is to the zero mile marker, up to the six mile marker, and back without looking all that much at my watch even to see what time it is.  We spent a lot more time talking than normal as well as meeting many old friends from a training group we were once both part of.  It was a "timeless" run but certainly not purposeless.  The conversation was a good one this morning and made the 12 miles together go by quickly. 

The term Pomme de Terre is an interesting one.  As mentioned above, it translates to potato.  The literal translation is “apple of the earth.”  Even that indicates that it is a bit more complex than meets the eye.  Apple and potato.  More than one type of food mentioned even in the name and translation.  It shows how complex a food can be.  It shows that there are aspects beyond what meets the eye. 

Running is sort of like that.  It is an activity that just involves putting one foot in front of the other—again and again.  Simple, right?  Well, no.  There are hills.  There is the weather.  There is how many miles I ran earlier this week.  Or last week.  There is pacing.  There are track workouts.  There are intervals.  There is tempo running.  There are progressions.  So many choices.  Running is a pretty complex activity. 

Runners are complex people.  What motivates them?  I wrote about this in social media earlier this week, but it made a big enough impression I think it deserves another mention here.  I saw a woman who was clearly overweight running up Charles Street on my way home from my optometrist appointment on Wednesday afternoon.  It was hot. She looked like she was struggling.  I have to be honest.  I half wondered, “Why?”  (Although I often wonder why anyone wants to run in the afternoon.)  But then I thought, “No, I should compliment her.”  I could have honked and given her a thumbs up but that is difficult when coming up from behind a runner.  It may have distracted her or me.  And each could have led to an accident.  So, I didn’t do anything.  But the fact that she was there made a STRONG impression.  It was great that she was making an effort.  It was great that she was trying to make herself better.  It was amazing.  And I thought—that is something to live up to.  Not something to wonder about.  She is doing exactly what we tell people to do.  Make themselves better.  Have a plan for wellness.  Be strong.  That was all coming out in what she did.  Yes, she was "complex" in the sense of not clearly always being one who seemed (from outward appearances) to take care of herself.  So what got her exercising?  I will never know.  It may be the most complex story in the world.  It is her story.  And I have to respec that. 

Finally, I remind myself that everyone has their complexities.  Many of us try to maintain an image.  Married life is good.  Career is going well.  Especially for those of us on social media—yes, we will post about deaths or negative elements of our lives that can’t be denied. But most posts show amazingly positive lives that probably can’t possibly exist.  Yet, when you get underneath—wash the dirt off the potato and peel it—you quickly find that there is a lot more there.  Blemishes.  Eyes in the potatoes.  Things that can’t be seen from the outside.  Things that would remain otherwise hidden.  But things that define the potato.  Over the past year, I have found that many of my friends and acquaintances have a lot more going on below the surface than I ever imagined.  Or than they typically talk about.  For all those friends who have questions of the heart, questions of the soul, or questions about their core values that they hide from the world and keep inside, I offer a thought, a prayer, a hope that they will find their issues settled so that their lives may come closer to the image of a good life that we all maintain.  And though the journey may be difficult, may they find their way and come out better on the other side even if their lives continue not quite to measure up to our ideal images.  

It is amazing sometimes how my mind wanders from one topic to another and while I start talking about potatoes, I end up talking about questions to our core values.  Connecting the dots.  Noursing the soul.  

Half Way There

So, in the three days that included yesterday (since I last blogged), I have run 8 miles, 7 miles, and 13 miles.  Yesterday’s 13 miles was nice as it was the furthest I’ve gone on one run since I did 14 on the day before Mother’s Day.  That’s a long time to go without hitting a half marathon distance.  But that’s okay.  The 13 miles today run as 3 by myself (warm-up) and 10 with my long time training partner (passing one other pair of runners three different times on the NCR trail) brought me to 1,000 miles total for the year.  Before I go and reflect on that, I will explain how I passed one set of runners three times.  In short, I ran from about the half mile point on the trail up to the two mile marker and back to get three miles as warm-up.  On my way back, I passed two runners just before the mile marker.  My running partner was already there when I got back so after sending a quick text to my 18 year old we turned around and headed back out on the trail.  We were running a pretty solid sub 8:30 average—a bit faster than this other pair.  So, we ran past them headed up to the 5.5 mile marker.  And we passed them again as we (and they) were returning to the parking lot at the half mile point.  I’m not sure if they thought I was totally crazy.  They realized how fast I was running.  So did another pair who were setting up a water stop at around the 2 mile marker and then were sitting on a bench at the parking lot at the half mile marker.  They commented to me and Joselyn that we must have been going pretty fast as they had just gotten back by driving.  Of course, the drive is longer than the run.  And they were not yet in the car as Joselyn and I ran past.   

That leads me to think about six different things.

1. Where am I on the 2000 mile quest.  Obviously, at mile 1000. But where on the map to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico am I?
2. What are the nearest Catholic churches?  Where I am there is not a lot right on the roads I am on.  But it is interesting to see what is nearby.
3. The very different way I accumulated 1000 miles by June 22 this year compared with how I accumulated 1000 miles on June 30 last year.
4. The fact that I registered for the Philadelphia marathon and put down 3:10 as my goal time.  Today’s miles were run as 3 and 10.  That sends me looking for scripture inspiration.
5. With the thought of scripture, I consider what I heard in church this morning.
6. Plus one comment I heard on a radio program this morning about letting ourselves have a time each day to be purposeless and timeless.

Let’s begin with the easy one.  On the map that I created with 2000 miles by walking from St. Pius X in Towson, MD, to Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Truth or Consequences, NM, I am on Lowell Williams Road in Linn Creek, MO. I am about to turn onto A-68.  Pretty much the middle of nowhere.

When I search for Catholic churches in the area, what comes up?  Two different St Anthony churches sort of nearby.  One in Camdenton and one in Iberia.  In any case, St Anthony is the saint to whom many Catholics say a prayer asking for intercession for finding something.  Whether there is anything other than superstition there is not for me to judge at this time.  What is interesting is that while someone running with no purpose out in Linn Creek might seem like they themselves are a bit lost and need to be found, I’m actually feeling less lost than I have in a long time?  Is life perfect?  Of course not.  But all that is good about my professional life (that was good a year ago) and all that is good about my running while (which I think is better than ever) and all that is good about my kids’ lives (which has more certainty than a year ago) and all that is good about my church life (a new ministry role for the first time in a long time and the right combination of ministries) and all that is good in my spiritual life (mostly writing this blog) and all that is good in my married life (stronger than it has been in a long time as we move ahead to a new life with only two kids at home regularly starting this fall) is good.  A year ago I could have said that some parts of my life were feeling very lost.  Now, I still have a ways to go to find balance.  To make sure that everything gets done.  To make sure that I fulfill all responsibilities.  But I am not feeling lost at all.

Accumulating 1000 miles.  Last year, I ran the Boston marathon in April for 26.2, plus three workouts of 20+ miles, and a couple 18’s.  That is more than 15% of the distance in just 8 runs.  I was still running with Back on My Feet a lot and I was trying to mix it up a bit.  That is much different from this year.  My longest this year is 16 miles.  And I don’t think I’ve done that more than once.  I have run a lot of days.  I have spent less time driving to run.  About the only place I’ve driven to run is the NCR trail.  Perhaps a couple times from the store in Timonium.  I don’t think I’ve been to Loch Raven this year.  And I have run the old B-10 course that goes through Druid Hill Park just once.  So, a completely different type of consistency.  A lot more 6-8 mile runs.  A lot of time spent just putting the miles in.  Just three 5K races.  It is a much more liberating and liberated feeling.  Of course, I have a purpose—stay fit  But no particular place to go.  A lot more “making up the course as I go along”.  And a much different feeling.  I may not be as fast as I was last year (at least based on my race times so far this year) but I am fitter, I have a better sense of how important running is to me.  And I have continued to develop a better sense of just how to work in running around the other things in my life that are ultimately more important to those who are important in my life no matter how important running is to me.  Another thing about 1000 miles is that it is half way to my goal.  I’ve thought a lot about halves recently. Celebrating 22 years of marriage at age 44—I’ve been married half of my life.  Depending on what life expectancy calculator you use, I have lived just a little over half my life.  What will I manage to do in the second half that I haven’t done in the first half?  Hopefully lots of things but given how much I’ve already crammed in, it will be interesting to see what happens.  Finally, this week we will be running half miles at half marathon pace for our track workout.  So, half is a good thing.  And with my focus on positivity, I always see the glass as half full rather than half empty.

So, I stopped here yesterday and I’m picking up on Monday morning with the remaining three topics.  So far, the key is that 1,000 miles in just 173 days has changed how I look at the importance of running, the way I run, the way I see running interacting with the rest of my life, being positive, and being the employee, father, and husband I am supposed to be. 

I hope that others find a similar return from their running or other fitness activities in terms of how it can improve their well-being and their basic outlook on life.

So, on to the last three topics.  I ran the workout yesterday as 3 and 10.  I also put 3:10 as my time for the Philadelphia marathon.  I would love to hit 3:12:08 (a 7:20 pace the whole way).  To get myself down into the 3:10 range, I would have to take off another 3-4 seconds per mile.  The 7:20 per mile is something I’ve held for 20 miles.  Just have to hold it for the last 6.2.  And taking another few seconds per mile off, we will see.  But the key here is that I turned to scripture for some inspiration from 3:10.  I noted Acts 3:10 in the missal yesterday.  “they recognized him as the one who used to sit begging at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, and they were filled with amazement and astonishment at what had happened to him.”  (From the USCCB website.)  In any case, this is at the end of a story about Peter and John curing a man who was “crippled” from birth.  He had been begging for alms all his life.  The man’s feet and ankles were described as growing strong.  This story about strength and being helped by faith and by saintly individuals rings true with me.  The strength in light of my running is obvious.  But there is emotional strength as well.  And there are the many people—coaches, fellow bloggers, friends—who have helped with both physical and emotional strength over the years.

What did I hear in church yesterday?  It was the feast of Corpus Christi.  It was interesting as the Old Testament reading mentioned manna, a food the Israelites were not familiar with.  In the Gospel reading, the idea of real presence (the Catholic belief that we participate in the body and blood of Jesus through the Eucharist) was explained—another story of a food that the people were unfamiliar with.  The homily given by our Deacon explained that well.  And it reminded me of connecting the dots between readings.  And he even used the phrase nourishing the soul to talk about what the Eucharist does.

Finally, the comment about purposeless and timelessness.  The program is OnBeing.  It is a program about religion and philosophy.  The host was interviewing someone who was talking about play.  I was listening to this after my run and thinking about running as play.  Is it?  It is purposeless?  In the scheme of wanting to run a faster marathon, no.  In the scheme of weather my running matters to anyone other than me?  It is pretty purposeless.  And although I can say that I was looking at my watch occasionally while running yesterday, it was a time of relative timelessness.  Talking without worry about how long it was taking.  And sometimes running in silence.  The last mile and a half or so was that way. Just running.  On the NCR trail there are some notable things to see but it is quite possible to lose one’s sense of time and place.  It really is an incredible meditative experience.  Especially when running at a pace that was enough to be “work” but not so much that I was breathing hard. 

So ends my epic blog entry.  Now, it is time to get on with a new day.  A new run.  A new attitude.