I Should Just Compare Myself with Myself

A friend posted on Facebook today the top ten ways to feel miserable as an artist.  The first was constantly comparing oneself to other artists.  The same thing can be said for runners.

For instance, today, a friend posted something in relation to the Boston marathon joking that the three of us who will room together in Boston were added to the elite group.  I know I am not an elite runner.  It is interesting to think about what they run and what I run, but there is no point in comparing myself with the elites.  There is really no point in comparing myself even with any sub-3 hour marathoner at the moment.  It serves no purpose.  The second member of the group said "maybe in another life".  I said, "If I get a personal best then I'll be elite for myself and that is all that matters."

Still, I know I compare myself to at least some others.  Comparing myself with a small number of others gives me something to aim for.  Comparing myself to the people who are 5-10 seconds per mile ahead of me is a good thing, if I can't stick with the healthiest thing which is just to focus on comparing myself to my goals and what I have been able to do in the past.

There are other ways in which sticking with comparisons with myself is helpful.  For example, today's theme was pain.

When someone asked how I am feeling, I could say pretty good.  Yes, I had an occasional awful dry hack.  But that is much better than I was two days ago.  No more sore throat and voice is back to normal.  Only comparing myself to myself was helpful.

Another example from today was feeling irritated when I had to take a bandage off a big scrape on my elbow from running this morning.  But I thought to myself "I run for 3+ hours and I spent 7+ hours getting a tattoo.  What is a little irritation when removing a bandage?" I got the bandage off quickly.  And life goes on.

Comparing myself with myself keeps like simple and straightforward and very real. It does not promote jealousy.  It promotes (for me) a way of staying focused only on whether I have what I need and being satisfied with life as it is.  

Thinking about Humanity in Baltimore

Just a short thought.  Tonight on The Marc Steiner Show co-hosts Marc Steiner and Anthony McCarthy were discussing homicides in Baltimore City.  I missed the show recently when Marc read the names of all 217 people who were homicide victims in Baltimore City last year.  They commented on how important it was to get the names out as each one was a life lost--even if the person had a criminal record and died in gang violence.  Each person was human.  And saying "it's just gang violence" sort of dehumanizes the individuals involved.

That got me thinking.  When I speak with people who might move to Baltimore, I describe it as a basically safe city--if you avoid the drug trade and know what neighborhoods to stay out of.  I tell people that the whole city is not like The Wire.  I make such comments off-handedly.

What struck me is the following.  It is good to encourage people to move to Baltimore.  And I do think Baltimore is generally a safe city for most of the residents and most visitors.  What I realized though is that when I "write off" neighborhoods with off-handed comments about just avoiding them to be safe, it ignores something important.  It dehumanizes the people of those neighborhoods.  Avoiding the fact that there is a problem does not help to solve the problem.  And while there may not be much that I, as an individual, necessarily can do to solving the problem, writing it off is definitely not the right answer.

In the future, I'll still tell people the city is relatively safe.  However, I'll tell people that being safe involves having some street smarts.  And, I'll admit that there are areas of the city that are less safe.  But I won't say, "But you can just ignore that."  Instead, since most people I talk to about moving to the city are thinking about moving here to study or teach a a university, if I finish with anything, I'll try to finish with, "I hope you can come here and help be part of the solution."  

The Healing Power of Music

Today was the first time I had played my bass in nearly two weeks (having been away for the one Sunday mass between Christmas Eve and now).  After mass today (at mass was where I played bass), I was speaking with my 13 year old who commented that I sounded a lot better than I did earlier in the day.  I commented in return that while my voice/throat was feeling somewhat better, just playing my bass during mass (particularly for a couple of the more upbeat songs), I felt better.  At that point, he threw in a comment about "the healing power of music".

It was a fascinating comment because the Maryland State Boychoir (with which he sings) has a concert each year with a local hospital called the healing power of music.  

It was a fascinating comment because I truly believe that music has healing, uplifting, energizing power.  Whether my son was just joking because of the annual concert or he really belies it.  

Finally, it was a fascinating comment because I remember back to a first conversation I had with a student I was mentoring who was interested in health and music, and I commented that she should consider music therapy.  (Now, she remains interested in a career that will involve making people's lives better and she remains interested in music, but I don't see music therapy in her future.)

And throughout life, music has always had a healing power.  It can be a focal point to focus on something other than what you need healing from.  It can be something that helps you think through an issue.  Sometimes it is the words.  Sometimes it is the melody or harmony.  Regardless, music can very often have healing powers.  

I won't deny that there is some music that can have destructive power as well given some lyrics, but where I have looked, I have always been able to find healing.  As I try to shake the last bit of a cold I have, perhaps something about music alongside my family and my running will help me to heal and be ready to take on another busy week at work.  

Lesson of the Morning

The lesson I learned from yesterday into today is that the conclusion I draw about the advisability of a choice I am making may depend very importantly on how I am looking at the choice—or where I am looking at it from.  Yesterday, I chose not to run as my head felt very stuffed and I felt very tired.  When I got out of bed, I felt a little better but decided to stick with the decision not to run.

For this morning, I made a decision yesterday not to run with my usual Saturday training partner. That was disappointing as I love the company on the long Saturday runs, but I needed to have the options (a) to run where it is warmer inside at the Y (sometimes it hurts to breath very cold air for a long time, especially when I am not feeling 100%), and (b) to quit if my body told me to.  Both of those point to running on a treadmill inside.

So, this morning, I was lying in bed thinking about whether to run or not.  If I had all the time in the world to just rest, was not training for Boston, and was not motivated to be a “doer” in my running, I probably would have just rolled over one more time (I had already ignored my alarm several times) and slept in until having to take my eight year old to hockey,

Instead I got up to (a) finish making bagels and (b) assess my running options.  With a clearer head and a slightly energized body, I decided to run. 

It emphasizes the importance to me of how sometimes just making a little effort to get started really facilitates the decision to continue.  Never even bothering to start makes it easy not to try.  At least trying makes it so much easier to continue.

I could think of that as part of the physics of inertia and momentum.  I could also think of it as the nature of always being willing to get up and keep going, as embodied by the story of St. Sebastian.  It’s a great day for thinking about the latter as I get the final touch up on my first tattoo today.

Have a great Saturday!

Respect for Excellence

I'm not a huge professional football fan, but I wanted to write about this weekend's Raven's game.  Ray Lewis has announced that he will retire after this season.  This weekend is a game at Raven's stadium.  Given the way professional football playoffs work, this is likely to be the last game he plays at M & T Bank Stadium in Baltimore even if the Ravens win.  Then, at most he will have three more games after that even if the Raven's make it to the Super Bowl.  Would it be great if they won?  Of course!  Is that what it is all about at this point?  Not in my opinion.

This weekend and any other send off that Ray Lewis gets is about one thing in my mind: honoring someone who is described as one of the best (if not the best) at his position.  Honoring someone who is described as having redefined his position.  Honoring someone who was able not only to be the best but also to bring out the best in others.

Whether it is being a linebacker (Ray Lewis), being a college professor (me), or being any other job, striving to be the best, to try to define what being the best means, and to bring out the best in others are three very worthy goals.  I can't claim to be the best professor.  Productive?  Yes.  Good at teaching?  Yes.  Interested in teaching?  Yes.  Good at collaborating?  Yes.  Good at working with people?  Yes. Has fun working with people?  Yes  But lots of professors are all of that.

While none of that makes me unique, I do think that I have helped to redefine what success in my environment means.  I was the first of a new generation of health economists to get promoted to full professor.  The approach I took in my research was somewhat different.  And the focus I have placed on education has been somewhat different.  Have I "redefined the position"?  I would not say so.  But I know that expectations of health economists and how health economists are viewed as collaborators and contributors is different now than 17 years ago when I interviewed for the position.  I'm not fully responsible for that, but I have contributed.  It will be interesting looking ahead to whatever my career brings next to see just how much different things are in the future.  I could not predict 10 years ago where I would be now.  I'm not even going to try now to predict where I will be in 2023.  I can only say, with some certainty, that it is likely to be one wild ride with new definitions of success and what is meaningful over that period.

Bringing out the best in others?  I like to think that I have helped others to become all they can be.  I  am not sure I would say that I have necessarily brought out the best in others.  But it is certainly a worthy goal.

Hats off to Ray Lewis as his career as an NFL player comes to a close.  And hats off to anyone who strives for being the best he or she can be, helping to define what best is, and helping others to achieve the same.  

Understanding

My goal at the end of last year was to write 100 words (or more) per day.  Today, I am thinking about  understanding.

The first thing about understanding today came from my thirteen year old.  He made an interesting observation this evening.  He pointed out that he understood how I felt the other morning when I came home and proclaimed how good my bagels were after a run.  I was very excited because I had run 5+ miles for the first time in more than a week.  I was also very excited because it was the best bagel recipe I had made.  I felt energy and excitement and shared it with everyone in the house.  No one else was sharing either my energy or my excitement.  My thirteen year old acknowledged that this evening and pointed out that his excitement comes from gardening.  He ended up saying that if everyone just understood that everyone else gets excited about different things it would help to show appreciation for each other and each other's interests and help each of us in the family to be supportive of others.  Quite a nice perception for a thirteen year old.

Understanding also was part of my day in three other ways.

First, I ran with just one fellow runner rather than our usual large track/tempo group.  I appreciated the company and it gave us a chance to chat and catch up more than we had in a while.  It was nice to get an understanding of issues each faces coming up and to deal with one fitness issue--Charlie horses.  Increasing understanding of that will be helpful for me.

Second, I met with an undergraduate to discuss her interests in health promotion and public health.  It was fun to share my knowledge and to gain an understanding of the student's interests.  Understanding here will hopefully lead the student to a more informed choice about graduate school and career choices and gave me a great chance to understand what issues undergrads are dealing with these days.

Third, I had an opportunity to look over a colleague's list of accomplishments from last year.  As someone I am mentoring, it is important to me to understand what this colleague is doing and what this colleague plans to do in the future for future success.

So many different ways of understanding.  Each is critical to relating to people.  Each is critical to being part of a family or being a friend or being a mentor.  Each is critical to working with others--which is one of the most important parts of what I do.  

Sorting myself out...

Have had too many blogs.  For the record, I've posted three to an old blog that should be here:

http://p-s-wellbeing.blogspot.com/2012/12/looking-back-over-2012-and-ahead-to-2013.html

http://p-s-wellbeing.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-center-of-my-life.html

http://p-s-wellbeing.blogspot.com/2013/01/preciousness-of-life.html