Inspirtation and Meaning in Celebrating a LIfe After Passing

Last night I attended a wake service for Mark Pacione.  St Pius X church on York Road just north of the city/county border just outside Baltimore City was packed to standing room only.  The line of people waiting to say something to Carol Pacione and her family was amazingly long before the service and went for an amazingly long time after the service.  The church was supposed to close at nine.  There were still dozens of cars in the parking lot well after nine when Sherry and I left the building.

I have not been to many Catholic wake services.  But this was amazing.  I won’t claim this is a play-by-play recounting.  By to help me continue to process the passing of someone who was only 60, I am going to reflect on the elements on the evening I found most moving.

First, the church’s worship band played some prelude music and throughout the program.  Their prelude music—when I believe it is appropriate to have as many solos as they might like and the music is intended for contemplation—was lovely.  I quickly noticed that the piano was being played by someone other than the typical piano player these days.  The typical piano player is a wonderful person whose piano playing is usually a nice accompaniment to what the guitars are doing.  The piano player last night is just at a different level and added some improvisations that brought the music to life in a different way.  There may be some who would debate just how much improvisation there should be and how much the piano or the guitar should lead, but my personal preference is for the type of piano/guitar mix I heard last night. 

Second, the fact that the church was full was amazing—because nearly everyone sang.  It sounded like everyone sang even if there may have been a few listeners in the crowd.  That, more than anything else, made the evening an incredible one.  The opening song was Come Holy Spirit.  For those who believe there is such a thing as the Holy Spirit, there was no question of the presence of the Spirit last night.  Before the song, during the song, after the song, the entire time.  This part of the experience reminded me of Matthew 18:20  “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” The gathering last night was much more than two.  And God was certainly in our midst last night.

Third, the singing.  There was a version of Amazing Grace in the program that the worship band has played dozens of times.  And it usually played in a way with at least some of the verses of the original Amazing Grace being sung by a soloist with the congregation then singing the modern added refrain.  While the song started with only one singer from the band, the congregation quickly joined in.  (Not everyone was from St. Pius X and used to the way it is usually done.)  To hear the entire congregation sing out the verses of Amazing Grace with strong voices almost brought me to tears.  I had a hard time holding it together to sing.  But that is what worship and praise music means to me.  Worshipping as a congregation.  Praising God as a congregation.  In this case, celebrating the life of a great man as a congregation. 

Fourth, Father Sam Lupico was on fire.  His homily was amazing.  So much near shouting—for joy!  So much emotion.  So strong a representation of what everyone hopes will carry on long after Mark’s life. Even before the homily, when he read the Gospel he talked about switching from what was listed in the program to a reading from Matthew.  When he began the reading with “When he saw the crowds he, he went up on a mountain…” I knew where this was going.  He had preceded the reading with a comment on how discussion with the family had led to this reading.  I knew what the reading would be.  The Sermon on the Mount with the Beatitudes.  The Beatitudes that are written on the eight stained glass windows around the church.  The Beatitudes that Fr. Sam focuses on in his homilies even in weeks when we are not reading from Matthew 5.  The Beatitudes that, to paraphrase Fr. Sam, if anyone believed and lived them it was Mark.  Fr. Sam’s homily last night was the closest I have ever experienced to a Catholic revival.  Everyone cried and laughed and shouted Amen and understood just what Mark believed and lived.  It reminded me of a meeting for this year’s youth who will be confirmed at St. Pius X.  Mark had shown a video that led in with “don’t get confirmed, BE confirmed.”  In other words, live your faith.  And Mark certainly did that.

Fifth, there were several speakers who had the opportunity to make comments about Mark after the singing of Amazing Grace.  One focused on how mark was present for everyone.  I try to be present for everyone.  I know I fail sometimes.  But it was clear that Mark was able to capture that feeling of just being there for you.  I have already commented on the presence of the gathering last night.  It was wonderful.  I try to live my life with presence for others.  Being present has a lot to do with being a symbol of God for others—going back to being confirmed rather than just getting confirmed.  That goes along with recognizing God in others and living a life of gratitude when you tell others what you appreciate.  That symbol is a part of my goal (3) for the coming year (I talked about this on December 31, 2014)—to say thank you even for little things.  I was able to put that to work immediately after we left the church last night.  We stopped at the grocery store and I chose to go to a cashier rather than going through the self-check line.  The young man took the time to carefully and thoughtfully bag everything to use the smallest number of plastic bags and not risk crushing anything.  The care that he took was notable and I made sure to say “Thanks.  Not everyone does that.”  And he seemed to appreciate that.  A reminder that there is the opportunity to be grateful to and present for everyone in our lives. 

Sixth, one gentleman who had worked with Mark for more than 30 years including when Mark helped to organize World Youth Day in Denver and then the Pope’s visit to Baltimore in the 1990’s.  This gentleman commented that Mark is probably already on the planning committee for the Jesus’s second coming.  That got a laugh from the entire congregation.  Mark was an organizer. And could inspire others to work with him for the faith.

Seventh, the other thing that many mentioned was Mark’s focus on family, friends, and faith.  I have already discussed faith, the Holy Spirit, the gathering, and the presence that was felt at the church.  But it was clear that Mark also loved his family and was appreciated by many friends.  And the line between who was just a friend and who was part of Mark’s family was a very blurry one.  Everyone there last night was clearly family in some sense of the word.

Eighth, while at the service and waiting in line after the service to give my condolences to his family, I saw so many families and so many youth and young adults whom I had known for the 18+ years we have been at St Pius X—or at least as long as they had been alive.  Some of them I had taught when they were 9 or 10 or 12.  Others I had simply watched.  The passing brought together families in some amazing ways.  And seeing kids whom I have known for so long is always a heart warming experience. 

Ninth, it allowed me to connect with some friends in faith I have not seen for quite some time.  So important at a time like this.

Finally, when Sherry and I reached Mae and then Carol and her family the length of the hugs exchanged when there was nothing to say but “I’m here.”  Mae said “Thank you for being here.”  All I could think of to say was “Of course.”  And when I reached his daughter, I actually had a story to share.  I recalled her running the Chicago marathon.  I recalled both her mom and her dad being worried.  And I recalled the day when she did it as one on which there was tension and a sense of relief and pride when she finished.  She talked about her dad joining her to finish.  I talked about sharing my running with two of my three boys.  She also mentioned not running now as she is expecting and we joked about the very pregnant woman who had run the Chicago marathon and given birth almost immediately afterward.  That joking was a light moment.  But more importantly, the primacy of family lives on in a new generation who were already and will continue to be inspired by Mark’s example. 

Mark’s niece restated something that had been noted in the eulogies—keep saying Mark’s name to keep his spirit and all he stood for alive.  I don’t think there will be any shortage of thoughts and discussions of Mark in the coming week or weeks or even months or years.  And everyone last night will be inspired to keep the vision that he provided for the life of the laity in the Catholic church alive. 

Crazy Week

I last wrote three days ago.  I ran on the 16th and 17th but not on the 18th.  The 16th was another easy 5 and the 18th was a wonderful 8 miles on a cooler and less humid day.  I have now accumulated 1156.2 miles total putting me near the corner of Hawaii Rd & 2600th Street in La Harpe KS.  When I switch to a sattelie view it looks like there are mostly famrs on either side of where I am running on my virtual pilgrimage.  For a while it looks like I will primarily be on long stretches of fairly open road.  Marathon running can feel that way sometimes--not knowing where the road will turn or end.  Life can feel ttat way sometimes.  But most of the time my life is very dynamic and not just a long and straight road.  

For example, this week has brought some amazing things.  First, Sherry and I purchased a new car for the first time in 10 years.  A very basic manual transmission car.  Pretty cool.

Second, a friend posted that it was the four year anniversary of her husband's passing.  I count the passing of Gerry Paradiso as an important event in my life for a number of reasons.  First, it brought me to marathon group training rather than the individual training I had been doing.  Second, it brought me to think about the importance of specific Bible stories and a much deeper symbolism.  The story of the five smooth stones that was shared at Gerry's memorial service has stuck with me ever since.  Finally, I recall Gerry being described as someone who found ways to do what he loved and to take chances. My blogging is that.  My running is that.  Even my tattoo is that.  My change in jobs is that.  Marriage is that for all of us--being with someone we love and taking the chance that they will love and stay in love with you.  Most of my life is that.  And it was amazing to hear how happy someone else had been trying to do that in so many ways.

What I have come to realize is that I have lived my life and shared my interests in a very public way since then.  My blog.  My social media.  And people notice.  

In the past week two people have confided in me about things that took me off guard.  One person mentioned feeling the need to be careful about what is stated about faith on social media.  It seems unfortunate to me that we have reached a point like that.  But I was someone with whom this other person trusted and felt comfortable speaking about faith.  Everyone knows that I have taught in the religious education program at St Pius X, that I have enjoyed it, and that I am now looking forward to serving on the Mission and Planning committee for the parish.  Everyone knows that starting with 1313 for my first marathon (1 Cord 13:13) and continuing to this day, I will at times seek to find ways to write about my bib numbers and race times in a religious reading context.  There are few secrets.  And maybe some people do think I am crazy.  But this opens doors into deeper insights I an have of others.

Second, someone came to me to ask about my tattoo.  Who did it, where, and how did I come up with the design.  While the kids were doing spin art at the end of week Bible School activity last night, I typed up what turned out to be a VERY long description of my thought process, what I descirbed to Emily Sloman when I first had a consultation with her, what she did to bring together the set of ideas I described, and how amazed I was at the whole process.  The person (who shall remain nameless until this person chooses to share with others the idea for a tattoo or gets one) indicated a feeling of being speechless reading the long description and that I was the only person that this person felt comfortable asking.  Again, almost everyone whom I know is aware of my tattoo and the fact that it has some significance (a large tattoo on the calf that includes a guy shot with arrows chained to a gas streetlamp and being rescued by a woman with a pink dress must mean something, right?).  And my willingness to have an idea, get the tattoo, be so open about it, and share makes an impression on people.  Maybe ther eare peple whom it turns off.  But there are also people for whom it opens the door.  

Tying this all together, I don't think I had mentioned that I recently read an article about having an "inner C-suite".  Chier executive officer--vision.  Chief financial officer--analytic.  Chief operating officer--get it done.  Chief people officer--work with, support, encourage, build up, and manage people.  Of all the parts of my job, I enjoy the last the best and I have proven to be pretty good at it.  It shows in my life as well.  Being willing to share has opened many more doors than it has closed.  And those doors have led to some incredible insights.  in the context of this week, Gerry Paradiso's life was an example that got me to be more willing to express myself and to share.  Seeking ways to express it brought me to working with Emily to get the tattoo.  

In memory of Gerry's passing and remembrance, I paste below a section of my first personal blog (as opposed to professional blog) entry from 8/1/10 when I was writing about Physical and Spiritual Running: 

During the service, someone shared an incredible story. While the story-teller’s faith and Gerry’s faith were different they shared a bond through faith. And when she took her family to Israel for her son’s bar mitzvah, she asked Gerry what he would like her to bring back. Gerry asked for five smooth round stones. Remember that David had five stones when he went to face Goliath although he needed only one. The five stones were at the memorial service today. 

I don’t necessarily plan to carry five physical stones 26.2 miles [although I did eventually] while I run in October, but I could have five “figurative” stones in my pocket representing love, strength, perseverance, ambition, and focus. Each could help me achieve my goal in the way that any of the stones could have helped David. But, as David needed only one, I really need only one; the others are just backup. The one I need—love. Love for my friends, colleagues, and family members who have been touched by cancer. Love for my children as I show an example of setting and achieving a goal. Love for my wife who has endured the extra time I’ve spent training this year. Love of and thankfulness to God who has given me so many gifts. Love will guide my way, and everything else will just fall into place. I should not even need the other “stones”—even if having them does provide reassurance.

A Road Called Rainbow Run

Today I ran eight miles—that is not unusual. The fact that I ran outside shouldn’t be unusual.  But so far this calendar year it has been.  The only thing that has been more unusual so far this calendar year is running with others. I still hope to fix that, but for right now I am just enjoying running—even if it is by myself. 

Today’s eight mile run was down my street, over to Northwood, out to Northern, up the Alameda to Sherwood, down Regester, across Loch Hill, down Loch Raven, around the grocery story and post office on Meridene, back to Loch Raven on Northern, down to Cold Spring (police activity at the corner and I could not get the speed indicator to measure me at more than 8 MPH this morning), across Cold Spring to York, up York to Bellona, back across Northern to York, up York to Hollen, and then winding through Lake Walker back to my home.

What did I think of while I ran?  I thought of a few things today.

First, how many places of worship I passed.  Probably at least a dozen.  Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Episcopal, Catholic.  Probably a few others along the way.  A Catholic High School.   The many and varied ways that people worship and believe and live out their faiths.

Second, I thought about how I feel comfortable running through most of the northern part of the city from Falls Rd to Harford Rd and north of 25^th street.  As well as downtown. If I go back four years when I first got it in my head to train for a marathon I ran north of where I live.  Now, I run south quite a bit through all sorts of sections of the city.  I think of the city as my “canvas” for running.  Where the patterns of streets I run each day would make interesting designs.  Where I try to find new paths that form loops or crossing loops and avoid, like the plague, out and back when I run in the city.  And I am comfortable enough now that even when I run to downtown or to Lake Montebello or to Druid Lake, I don’t need to just do an out and back.  And I like to celebrate how comfortable I have become with my city.

But then I checked on where this puts me: 213.5 miles toward my goal of 2000 miles.  And where does that put me—about a mile and a half east of where PA-136 and PA-88 intersect in Monongahela, PA.  I would have run a bit along the Monongahela River.  That is one of the three rivers that come together in Pittsburgh where the baseball team once had a stadium.  Pittsburgh is where my most frequent long run partner for the last three years hails from.  I’ve heard they have a good marathon.

In the spirit of canvas (and I literally did not know this before I ran today), I would have run on a street called Rainbow Run Rd. Rainbows are many colors.  I certainly passed a “rainbow” of faith experiences today. 

Google had a rainbow of colors on its main page for searching today.  Maybe a sign of protest against the anti-LGBT issues being raised by the Olympics being in Russia. 

Once again, I find an odd sense of interconnectedness.  I think of the city as a canvas.  I pass a “rainbow” of places or worship (at least a Christian rainbow).  I find that I would have run on a road called Rainbow if I were physically on my 2000 mile question.  And rainbow is a symbol in the news. 

How all this interconnected stuff happens again and again for me is a mystery.  It will continue to be a mystery.  Maybe it is not so interconnected.  Maybe I just like to interpret it that way.  But if that helps me make sense of the world, so be it. 

That is ultimately what this is all about.  Making sense of the world. 

The World is Run by Unbalanced People

Tonight, I served as the senior faculty member at a dinner attended by multiple junior faculty and the person who is serving as an executive in residence at the Carey Business School.  The person made an interesting comment that I really have to think about.  The comment was made in reaction to a question from a faculty member about career advice that our graduate students were seeking. The executive in residence said something to the effect of the notion that you have to be willing to lead an unbalanced life because the world is run by unbalanced people.  To be the best at something you have to be willing to work harder and sacrifice more and want it more than everyone else.

With that in mind, I face a challenge.  I just finished thinking for forty days about the combination of faith, fitness, and function supporting family.  I want to excel in them all.  I think that the person who was speaking tonight would tell me that I am crazy and that I can't have it all.  I guess the key question is when I will find myself put to the test.  Or perhaps I have already.

I am trying to figure out how to remain disciplined with my running.  It is getting harder and harder.  And there is a distinct difference between the running or physical activity I need just to stay in shape and the training I need to do to race safely and race hard.

I have already given up on my music for the time being.  I'm okay with that.  It is not the first time in my life that my music lost the battle to my running, my academic pursuits, and my future.  (I gave up on piano lessons in my senior year in high school for essentially the same reason--running and all.)

I may have to give up on other activities.

I may need to prove just how much I want to succeed in my career to make it work.

I am not sure about the cost of doing that.

At some point, I may have to do some soul searching to determine just how much it is worth.  I'm not sure I'm ready to grapple with that.

I hope it doesn't come soon.

But, I have to remind myself, that ultimately family has to win.  The key is how to support what my family wants and needs.

There are no simple answers.

But it remains my focus.

40 Days to Better: Day 36

Today, I ran 6.2 miles at a decent pace just under 8 minutes per mile.  That was after baking two banana breads (easy recipe and needing to use up bananas) and making a pizza dough. Even the kids pointed out just how much bread we had in the house.  Some English muffins from the store, leftover chocolate chip and everything bagels homemade yesterday, and everything made this morning.  As a result, I will be able to take tomorrow off from making bread.

Then I walked the dog before I ran.  While I was walking the dog it was very quiet.  Barely even heard cars in the distance.  That silence was nice.  I'll expect to write more about that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I want to reflect on the Gospel verse I heard at St. Pius X church in Towson yesterday.  Here it is (Luke 17:5-10):

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith."

The Lord replied,

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,

you would say to this mulberry tree,

'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you."

Fr. Sam stated, although maybe not verbatim, that Jesus was essentially telling his apostles, you already have it in you, trust yourself.

What a message for me to hear as a person.  As a dad.  As a manager.  As a (hopefully) leader and not just a manager.  As a runner.  As a teacher.  Perhaps even as a husband, although that is the one that I know I have to work on the most to prove that I have what it takes and to prove that I can trust myself to know how to be a good husband all the time.

Now, I have heard the message of do what matters from The Answer to How is Yes.  I have heard that if I am not giving my all I am sacrificing the Gift, from Steve Prefontaine.   And I have yesterday's Gospel reading as guidance to add on top of that.

Tying the three together, the book by Peter Block tells me, "you have the power to make the world a better place."  Steve Prefontaine didn't say what anyone could necessarily do with "the Gift" but that by giving my all I could use "the Gift" to its fullest.  And now, "you have what it takes".

So how do I tie this all together as I move ahead.  

I have to realize I have what it takes.  I have to recognize what I have.  I have to make the most of what I have.

However, good outcomes are not guaranteed.

But satisfaction in life is.  Would this be it for everyone?

I can't say.  I suspect some don't look for such fulfillment.  

Visceral Hatred and Redemption

Last week when I wrote my first post-marathon entry, I wrote about how the death of an eight year old I did not know had inspired me renew my efforts to live every day of my life to its fullest.  I thought afterwards that it was easy for me to write that since I did not know the eight year old.  So, his death was just a concept for me.  But one thing that has bugged me ever since last week is that it did not necessarily have to be an eight year old I did not know.  While my family was not there and had never expected to come to Boston to watch me, they could have.  And while the explosions occurred 90 minutes after I crossed the finish line, there is (as yet) no logical reason for the explosions having occurred at 2:50 rather than at 1:20.  So, I have spent some time dwelling on the what ifs that leads to.

On one of my overseas work trips I read a book by Frank Herbert (author of Dune) called The White Plague.  The gist of it is that a US bioengineer was in Ireland at the time during which the IRA was exploding bombs relatively frequently.  He lost his wife and son in a bombing caused by the IRA.  That pushed him over the edge enough to create a bioterrorism virus that nearly destroyed the world.  I read the book with an interest in the description of the search for the person, government's reactions to the bioterrorism, and the struggles the main character had after he launched the bioterrorism event.  I did not take seriously the premise that the death of a wife and child could push someone that far over the edge.

After last Monday, however, I could imagine it much more easily.  My eight year old was safely 400 miles away.  My wife has never been to Boston.  And yet the fact that someone could attack something so dear to me in a way that could even possibly put my family at risk brought up a hatred in me that I don't recall ever feeling before.  This even exceeds any emotion I recall feeling after September 11, 2001.  I felt desperation back in 2001 but not this level of hatred.  For me, September 11, 2001, was a horrible incident but it was also "conceptual".  In contrast, the issues here felt so much closer to me.  And I feared what I felt.  But writing that I felt it at all helps me to let it go.

I am not suggesting that I would have reacted as the character in the novel.  But, I am saying that I could have imagined snapping out in a way I had never imagined before.

But at Boston Marathon plus six days, i.e., Sunday April 20, I think I had a bit of redemption.  The day was certainly part of my rebuilding process.  And others may or may not see this as a part of redemption.  But I had to confront some of the issues from last Monday head on and brought my faith out in doing so.

I teach Sunday school at the St. Pius X catholic church as I have for a decade.  My class this year is third graders.  I thought long and hard about what I was going to say to the students before class yesterday.  I had decided not to bring up the Boston Marathon events unless the students brought them up.

And so we began class with the Lord's Prayer and then I asked what students wanted to pray for.  One student had heard about the Boston Marathon events at the 8 AM mass.  (I should probably say been reminded of as I am sure all the students heard about it during the week.)  Another student remembered that I had told them I would miss class the previous week because I was going to run the Boston Marathon.  (It had seemed like a harmless thing to tell them in advance.)  Then, we spent 15 minutes or so talking about the events.

I reassured the children that I was not in direct danger.  The students seemed to be having difficult coming to grips with why anyone would do this.  The best I could tell them was that I did not know.  So far, no one knows.  Then, I reminded them that each of us makes bad decisions sometimes.  I challenged them to think of bad decisions they had made and to try to think of why they did it.  They agreed that sometimes they had trouble figuring out their own poor decisions.  So, it was not unreasonable to think that they would not understand others' bad decisions.  I also told them about all the good things of Monday.  The 8,500 volunteers who helped runners all weekend and on the day of the race before 2:50.  I also pointed out all the good decisions and good people who helped others after 2:50.  And I pointed out the bad decisions the two men had made.  I challenged them to think about the Ten Commandments and eight Beatitudes.  And to remember that these are what we believe should guide us.

Finally, I pointed out that in our justice system, the surviving brother has not yet been proven guilty.  And I uttered the word forgiveness. I didn't make a really big deal of this.  I did mention how hard it would be to forgive.  And I don't expect anyone to forget.  But forgiveness (when a person is truly sorry) is a fundamental part of my faith.

Redemption?  Maybe.  Maybe it is just in my own mind.  But I have stated and let go of the hatred I felt and I have stated the word forgiveness--a part of moving forward and completely coming to grips with the experiences of the last seven days.  I cannot guarantee I would be talking about forgiveness if the dead or injured had been my relatives.  But I find that uttering the word forgiveness after thinking sharply hateful thoughts is part of my process of moving on.  

Hebrews 10:39

As I take on new responsibilities and prepare for my new position at the Business School, I find myself looking for inspiration and stability.  I suppose while I am excited about change, the goal of still having some rock of stability is a natural one to have.  In any case, I turn to my traditional spiritual outlet and look to the daily readings offered by the Catholic church as part of the mass to find some source of inspiration.  Today's mass readings include Hebrews 10:39,

We are not among those who draw back and perish, but among those who have faith and will possess life

And while St. Paul in his letter to the Hebrews was talking about this in the context of coming through trials and I am have not really come through trials recently, I do feel the need for strength and sustenance as I move ahead.  Words like this help me to focus and to realize that the lessons I need are not "new".  The lessons I need are lessons that have been around for thousands of years.  And as I grab the opportunities that life provides and need someone guidance, I have a source.  And as I go back to that spiritual well or guidance again and again, it will always be there and I will use it to help me in my efforts to (as the verse above says) "possess life".  

First Day of Faith Formation at St. Pius X 2012-13

We have finally reached the first day of Faith Formation at St Pius X Catholic Church in Towson.  Back when I was a kid we called in CCD.  When I first began teaching it was called school of religion.  It has also been known as religious education.  I generically use Sunday school in conversation.  It gets grouped with faith formation because tonight is also the start of classes in preparation for confirmation for this year's 9th graders at St Pius.

In preparation for the first class, I have done a lot of thinking and some writing since last Sunday about Franciscan and Augustinian prayer.  There are two other types that correspond to the other combinations of intuitive/sensing and thinking/feeling in the Myers-Briggs personality types. Although it is interesting to note that the intuitive is grouped with thinking/feeling while the sensing is grouped with judging/perceiving.  In any case, one of the other types is Ignatian.  In that style, I get the sense that the idea is to put myself in the ancient text rather than trying to relate the Biblical words to life today (as is the most common idea that I perceive in Augustinian) or praying just out of experience of reality, particularly nature (as is the most common idea that I perceive in Franciscan).  Putting myself in the ancient text would be like trying to imagine the experience.  I suppose I did that best when I wrote a play for the religious education program to do at Christmas a number of years ago called "Who Makes Time for God?"  It still have a bit of an Augustinian element because the problem faced by one of the shepherds was having too many things on his "to do" list so that he didn't make it to see the baby Jesus as the other shepherds did at his birth and that is a very modern problem.  But I'd imagine that even the shepherds then had to think about their duties and their flocks and make a decision to listen to the angel.  My writing involved trying to imagine what the experience was like.

So, as I jotted down my notes for this morning, I found myself thinking about the many different types of prayer and the reality of creation.  With a lesson on creation, obviously the simplest prayer style to think about is Franciscan.  What do we see, what are we thankful for, and why?  As we look at the two stories of creation in Gen 1:1-2:3 and Gen 2:4-24, we find that there is some room for both Augustinian and Ignatian.  On the Ignatian side, I could have the students try to imagine what it would have been like if we read Gen 1 literally and Adam and Eve were told by God to fill the earth and subdue it.  Then, in an Augustinian twist, I can ask the kids what does that mean today-what is not only our dominion over the plants and animals but our responsibility for them as well.  Referring to Gen 2:2-24, I could, in an Ignatian way ask them to imagine being the only human (as Adam is described) and then the joy at having someone else around for the first time-then join that with an Augustinian approach to asking about how important other people are in their lives today.  Unlike Simon and Garfunkel, we are not rocks or islands.

In addition, I can also introduce the basic most basic concept of prayer.  No, I am not going to introduce my 8 and 9 year olds to the four types, but there is a nice definition in the book we will use that talks about talking and listening to God and goes one step further about lifting our hearts to Go.   We can discuss rote prayer (the Our Father is always a good starting place) and prayers for intercession to saints, and since I have been looking at things about St. Sebastian for my own life, I could share some of that with the children.  

Plus drawing a name tag for each kid's desk so that I learn names quickly.  With only 13 (so far) it should not be too hard to learn their names.

A lot to pack into the 45 minutes to an hour I'll have with them on day 1.  That is okay as I try not to dwell on any one thing for more than about 10 minutes.  That leads to thinking about a minimum of 4 or 5 discrete activities even in 45 minutes.

This year will be an interesting challenge.  I am really looking forward to working with the kids and continuing my spiritual growth through that work.

Third Thought About John 6:1-15

When I heard the readings last Sunday I knew that I would use most of my entries in my blog for the coming week to talk about about them.  And, here we are on Friday and I'm still writing about them.  Of course, part of that is because I haven't blogged every day.  But part is because of how moving the readings were.  Today is my third thought motivated by John 6:1-15.

First was, wow, God has an amazing way of nourishing my soul.

Second was the importance of repetition of themes and seeing how the repetition related to other things in life.

Today, I'll just touch on one of the parts of the story--that Philip was doubting.  There are many stories of doubt in the Bible.  Even the phrase "doubting Thomas" is based on one apostle after the resurrection.  The story of doubt in John 6:1-15 was when Philip commented on the economics of feeding the crowd.  He was very doubtful and noted more than a half year's wages would not be enough.

Then, Simon Peter (from whom I took my confirmation name--God speaking to me again), noted that a boy had five loaves and two fish. While it is not easy to tell exactly how Jesus got the loaves and fish from the boy, the key is that he did and that the boy (for whom the food likely was incredibly precious) gave up his food, trusted in Jesus, and had great faith.  The simple faith and trust of a child.

Sometimes that type of faith and trust is the best there is. That type of faith is amazing.It is a reminder to me moving forward to bring the gifts that I have to the table, to share them with the Lord and with others, and to trust that it will be enough to satisfy what God wants me to do.

Praisde God.