Easing into the Marathon

Today’s 4 mile run bought me to 1962.5 for the calendar year.  Slowly closing in on Truth or Consequences, NM, and Our Lady of Perpetual Help church on my virtual pilgrimage.  The pace at which I am approaching has slowed considerably as I taper and prepare for the marathon one week from today.  As I write this at just after 10 AM on a Sunday morning, given the 7 AM start time for the race next week, I expect to be finished almost exactly a week from now—to the minute.  If all goes well, I’ll finish shortly after 10:10.  My 3:10 would get me to 10:10, but, even though I will be in the first corral, I will not necessarily be immediately at the front of the race.  So, I’ll count on finishing a little after 10:10.

A few things since the last time I wrote that make me think of “easing” into the marathon.  First, I had an opportunity to network on Friday morning with a guy who is a fellow runner, a fellow Back on My Feet supporter, and someone who works in the online education industry.  We had a great discussion over coffee before either of us had to be at work first thing on Friday morning.  We were discussing running, blogging, social media, etc., and I commented that I used to journal a lot in high school and I blog a lot now.  And the more I run, the more I write—or at least the more I want to write (I don’t always have the time).  He commented that he thinks that each person should have both a fitness outlet and a creative outlet in their lives.  I realize how blessed I am to have a combination of those two working so closely in sync—since my blogging is mostly inspired by or written in concert with my running.  I really had not thought of it until recently.  What is it that goes on in my brain while I run that completely inspires my writing? I’ll have to see if there is any research on the idea of a strong tie between running (or exercise more generally) and creativity.   I wish I knew more—then I could channel it even better.  And I could use the combination of physical and creative energy to “ease” myself toward the marathon day.  Distractions from pressure.

Second, yesterday’s run was a great final “long” run before the marathon.  I put “long” in quotation marks because 10 miles seems long to just about anyone who is not used to running half marathons or marathons. But yesterday it was just an easy run.  Totally under control.  With miles that started at 8:07 and ended at 7:24.  Not always getting faster from one to the next but definitely negative splits, definitely finished strong, and definitely felt under control.  All of that is reassuring as I try to “ease” into the process of running the marathon next Sunday.  I say, “ease” although most people would not use “ease” or “easy” and marathon in the same sentence because I am trying to go in with a goal but not too intense of a focus on the goal.  If I focus too intensely I am almost certain I will fail as I put so much pressure on myself that I break in some way.  Instead, I am trying to go in “light” and “easy” so that I can just let the race happen, relying on having done all the right stuff to prepare, and see what occurs.  And if I have a friend to share most (if not all) of the race with that will put me one additional step ahead.  The energy that can come from just having someone to run stride for stride with me is pretty amazing sometimes.  No need for chatter.  No need for anything other than presence.

Finally, I received my bib number in an email on Friday evening.  The number is 607.  I looked for spiritual inspiration and found it.  That also helps to set my mind at ease a bit.  So, what did I find?  Well, with the numbers 6 and 7, I went to the first letter to Timothy.  1 Timothy 6:7 reads:

For we brought nothing into the world, just as we shall not be able to take anything out of it.

What does that say to me?  It is a reminder to use my gifts from God (strength, ambition, perseverance, and focus) and to give it my all. Leave nothing on the course.  Make sure that every last ounce of effort goes into the race.  Have no doubt when I’m done that I ran the fastest marathon I could on that day.  I cannot take any of the preparation and apply it to another race.  There are no other time proximal marathons.  I will not have the opportunity to dedicate this much time and effort to a race again any time soon.  I simply must make the most of this opportunity.  I came to running with little other than those gifts I listed—and love.  A love of the people I get in shape so I’ll be here longer for them.  A love of the sport that I share with other runners.  A love of the opportunity to share and gain strength and energy from others’ sharing.  A love that transcends and gives strength and brings peace to runners.  And when I am done, I can’t take anything with me.  Someday there will be no more races.  Someday this will all end.  And that is it.  So, since this may be the last marathon in which I compete with myself for another personal best and another goal I have never achieved before, I recognize that this is the time when I must not plan to take anything forward.  Give it my all.  Achieve.  Triumph. 

Of course, I realize that no matter what comes from running after this I have made an impression on others and I will take the lessons I have learned and the spiritual energy and stories I have accumulated into my future.  I will just not apply of any it to competitive running at this distance and this level any time soon.

So, with ease for the week ahead in mind, I plan to run my best and smartest marathon ever next Sunday.  And take the experience with me for a lifetime of wonder and amazement at the beauty and inspiration of running. 

For anyone interested, you can find the podcast here.  

The World is Run by Unbalanced People

Tonight, I served as the senior faculty member at a dinner attended by multiple junior faculty and the person who is serving as an executive in residence at the Carey Business School.  The person made an interesting comment that I really have to think about.  The comment was made in reaction to a question from a faculty member about career advice that our graduate students were seeking. The executive in residence said something to the effect of the notion that you have to be willing to lead an unbalanced life because the world is run by unbalanced people.  To be the best at something you have to be willing to work harder and sacrifice more and want it more than everyone else.

With that in mind, I face a challenge.  I just finished thinking for forty days about the combination of faith, fitness, and function supporting family.  I want to excel in them all.  I think that the person who was speaking tonight would tell me that I am crazy and that I can't have it all.  I guess the key question is when I will find myself put to the test.  Or perhaps I have already.

I am trying to figure out how to remain disciplined with my running.  It is getting harder and harder.  And there is a distinct difference between the running or physical activity I need just to stay in shape and the training I need to do to race safely and race hard.

I have already given up on my music for the time being.  I'm okay with that.  It is not the first time in my life that my music lost the battle to my running, my academic pursuits, and my future.  (I gave up on piano lessons in my senior year in high school for essentially the same reason--running and all.)

I may have to give up on other activities.

I may need to prove just how much I want to succeed in my career to make it work.

I am not sure about the cost of doing that.

At some point, I may have to do some soul searching to determine just how much it is worth.  I'm not sure I'm ready to grapple with that.

I hope it doesn't come soon.

But, I have to remind myself, that ultimately family has to win.  The key is how to support what my family wants and needs.

There are no simple answers.

But it remains my focus.

40 Days to Better: Day 22

This morning I woke up to a request from my 17 year old son's girlfriend of more than two years. She had a fitness class assignment and was looking for five people (of whom, Sherry and I ended up being two) to answer a series of questions. I answered the five questions before 4 AM (I was up early after an exhausting week and weekend and having gone to sleep very early on Sunday night). When I told her I hoped the answers were not too long but that fitness is something I care a lot about she answered that she knew I care a lot about fitness.  

While Kelsey knows that I care about fitness, I'm not sure if she has any appreciation for how fast I run.  She simply knows that fitness matters to me.   Parenthetically, on this day when I ran four miles, after my ten fastest miles by myself on Saturday, I found that I was running four of the slowest by myself in a long time.  

Leaving the time behind, having a teen thinking of me for being really into fitness brings me to today's thought or lesson or whatever I might call it on the road to better.  That is to appreciate the gifts I have for a while. Build them up?  Yes. But for a while just take the gifts and don't try to build or learn new ones.

Am I saying the proverbial, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?"  No.  In fact I think there is still a lot for me to learn in a wide variety of areas. 

What I am saying is that I am known for some things. I am known because I have proven that I am good at them.  I have proven that I can stick with them. And I know I can continue to improve and get better at them. But it is good just to stick with them. Deepen rather than widen my talents. Grow what I have rather than diversify. So many different ways of expressing what I am thinking. 

So what am I known for?  Breads. Administration. Running. Teaching. Those initials could be read as BART.  (Although I'm not sure I want to think of the Simpsons when it comes to considering what I am known for) Or BRAT, I suppose, although that term would be even less something I would want to have associated with me. 

I suppose you could add marriage and parenting. Not that I am perfect at either of those (or any of the first four). Or even close on any.  Just known.  

For example, being married at age 22 and staying married for 21 years so far and having three successful boys (each in his own way) are things that make a positive impression on people. Running the Boston marathon makes an impression. Success with bread and my job make an impression. 

So moving ahead, I look forward to strengthening and deepening. Growing--but controlled growth. My road to better is a planned and deliberate road to better making use of the assets I already have when I take the time to think about it.