40 Days to Better: Day 36

Today, I ran 6.2 miles at a decent pace just under 8 minutes per mile.  That was after baking two banana breads (easy recipe and needing to use up bananas) and making a pizza dough. Even the kids pointed out just how much bread we had in the house.  Some English muffins from the store, leftover chocolate chip and everything bagels homemade yesterday, and everything made this morning.  As a result, I will be able to take tomorrow off from making bread.

Then I walked the dog before I ran.  While I was walking the dog it was very quiet.  Barely even heard cars in the distance.  That silence was nice.  I'll expect to write more about that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I want to reflect on the Gospel verse I heard at St. Pius X church in Towson yesterday.  Here it is (Luke 17:5-10):

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith."

The Lord replied,

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,

you would say to this mulberry tree,

'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you."

Fr. Sam stated, although maybe not verbatim, that Jesus was essentially telling his apostles, you already have it in you, trust yourself.

What a message for me to hear as a person.  As a dad.  As a manager.  As a (hopefully) leader and not just a manager.  As a runner.  As a teacher.  Perhaps even as a husband, although that is the one that I know I have to work on the most to prove that I have what it takes and to prove that I can trust myself to know how to be a good husband all the time.

Now, I have heard the message of do what matters from The Answer to How is Yes.  I have heard that if I am not giving my all I am sacrificing the Gift, from Steve Prefontaine.   And I have yesterday's Gospel reading as guidance to add on top of that.

Tying the three together, the book by Peter Block tells me, "you have the power to make the world a better place."  Steve Prefontaine didn't say what anyone could necessarily do with "the Gift" but that by giving my all I could use "the Gift" to its fullest.  And now, "you have what it takes".

So how do I tie this all together as I move ahead.  

I have to realize I have what it takes.  I have to recognize what I have.  I have to make the most of what I have.

However, good outcomes are not guaranteed.

But satisfaction in life is.  Would this be it for everyone?

I can't say.  I suspect some don't look for such fulfillment.  

Running and Free Will

Yesterday I was catching up on some reading and paged through a recent Runner's World.  There was a great article about the Steve Prefontaine Memorial Race.  One quote from Prefontaine (a US distance runner in the early 1970's who died an early death in a car accident) in the article was the following: 

The best pace is a suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die.

This quote fascinates me after two recent runs for the following reason.  First, when I ran the 1:30:39 recently and had negative splits, I commented to my running partner that I felt completely in control and how different that felt from when I ran a half-marathon race the last time in November when particularly my first five miles felt like I was pushing too much.  Today, in our 5x1600m workout, the first 1600 was at an easy 6:20something pace.  Then the other four were all sub 6:05.  All, except for the last one felt completely under control. Even the last one felt mostly under control.  It helped to have a buddy who is faster than me pacing it out.  I just followed along and for a couple ran along side him for the last lap.  Our very last lap of the morning resulted in my buddy and I running a 5:53 total with the last lap being at about 85 seconds was just on the border of control.  But it was still under control.  It was just fast enough to make a difference and bring us home with our fastest mile of the day being our last.

The choice to go out a little slow and come back is a strategic choice.  It is a matter of free will.  It is a choice I make about how to run.  

I like to feel under control when I run.  When I don't, it worries me.  It worries me that I might injure myself.  It worries me that I might not last.

Obviously Prefontaine was different.  If he took his own statement seriously, he would have just gone with "the sky's the limit" attitude for every race and pushed as hard as he could.  That is also part of free will.  Just how much effort to exert every single time.

Maybe his attitude and an amazing endurance was why he was a great runner and I am just a good amateur.  

What I like to ponder is how a quote like his could apply not only to my running (especially with Boston coming up) with to the rest of my life and what is the difference between going out with a lot of effort but still feeling like I am in control and just turning over my fate to my faith and pushing with every last ounce of energy that God has bestowed upon me.

Perhaps I will find out in Boston.

Then, I can carry that forward in my life.