The Spirituality of Advent, Day 4, Week 3

Today, I did not run.  Today, I am going to ponder something that didn't bring me joy or suggest any degree of spirituality.  

Yesterday, I got back from a trip to London that lasted less than a total of forty-eight hours.  I felt joy at being home.  I felt joy at the sense of comfort.  I felt joy at the sense of familiarity.  I felt joy because I was home with family.  I felt joy at being able to cuddle with Sherry.  Easy discussion.  Catching up after two days.  Understanding what I missed while away.  Breathing together.  Being together.  Resting together.  Just being at peace.  And a spirituality as I realized how important it was to come home to something other than just my own existence in a house.  

But that was just one part of what I felt.  That was the part that brought me joy.

Which isn't to say that I felt no joy in being home and talking with my kids.  Finding out about the concert in which Christopher played that I'd missed.  Finding out about hockey practice.  Finding out about Joshua's high school thoughts.

But I found that very few (if any) of the hand washable only dishes had been washed.  I had given one simple instruction before I left--make sure that I did not have to do three days worth of dishes when I returned.  My children didn't do that.  And that frustrated me.  The joy was not there.  

What is interesting is thinking about how long it takes growing children to realize what I refer to as spirituality, i.e., that we are a part of something bigger.  No matter what example I set.  No matter what we hear at church every Sunday.  No matter what they are taught in school.  It interests me to ponder just how long it takes children to take in the idea that they are a part of something bigger--and act on it.  In this case, it is being part of a family.  It is being part of a group that if not everyone acts together we end up with a less than ideal outcome.

So, how do you get a child to appreciate that he or she is a part of something bigger?  Hopefully, the child will eventually get there.  I know that after reading my oldest son's college application essays, he understands that he is a part of something bigger.  Orchestras.  Family.  Community.  That the world is a place that he is a part of.  That the world does not center around him.  

Interestingly--it is sometimes incredibly difficult to get him to do things within the family.  However, the other day when I thought I had completely lost my university ID, he went to look for it in the grocery store parking lot while I took a shower to get ready for work.  That just shows that the growth in spirituality is not even across all aspects of life at the same time.

Then there is my 14 year old.  Yes, he realizes that he is a part of a social dynamic and that he is part of a a boychoir.  And he will contribute by making dinner.  He just doesn't like to clean up afterwards.

Even my 8 year old sort of begins to realize that he is a part of something bigger like the teams he plays on.  But that only goes so far.

So, I guess I can see the evolution of understanding that a person is part of something bigger by watching my three sons.

And some day, I hope they will ponder how they are part of many things bigger just like I do.

And some day, I hope they will come to some fascinating conclusions and take joy in those conclusions.

But right now, I just hope that the next time I travel for work, my three children remember that they are part of a basic family unit and act on it.  That would be a good start toward a stronger sense of spirituality in the world.   

As  a final thought, it is interesting to think that being part of something bigger is not just enjoying the fun parts of being something bigger, but also being willing to do the things we don't enjoy along the way.  It reminds me of a comment from the owner of Charm City Run and a blog entry posted by Emily Sloman the tattoo artist I went to.  The blog entry is about becoming an apprentice tattoo artist, but it reflects not being selfish and wanting things to come too quickly.  

The Spirituality of Advent, Day 3, Week 3

Today's workout on the treadmill at the hotel in London was another 6.2 miles at an 8 min/mile pace.  Nice and easy for me.  I realized once again last nice when speaking with a colleague from the Vision Impact Institute that what is easy for me is not necessarily easy for everyone else.  I have to remember that 8 minutes per mile is about 5 minutes per kilometer or 12 kilometers per hour.  And I consider that just a nice, comfortable workout. My colleague was talking about running at most 10 kilometers per hour.  And she noted that she felt much more comfortable running 9 kilometers per hour.  (She thinks in kilometers per hour because she is from France.)  I told her there is nothing wrong with that.  The key is just getting out there and doing something.  She is in training for a 15 kilometer race in February.

This morning, I realized again the pure joy of running and why it is so important to me.  The sign on the fitness room said 24/7. So I went at just past 5:30.  My key card didn't open the door.  So I went to the front desk and was told that someone would have to come open it for me because it was before 6 AM.  I didn't realize that it would be considered early.  And for the entire 49:36 I was running, no one else entered the fitness room.  It is always interesting to me to see how few people use the fitness rooms at some hotels where I stay.  There is a big difference between US hotels and non-US hotels.  Much more activity in US hotels than non-US, at least in my experience.  I don't know if that means American enjoy exercise more.  Or maybe Americans do more exercise--enjoyed or forced.  It is just an observation.  And I am one of the those who really enjoy running.

So, I enjoyed my run.  If I didn't, I would not spend the time.  I would not go out of my way to get the fitness room door open.

People ask me what I do when I run on the treadmill.  Lots of mental math.  How far have I run?  How many minutes left?  How many seconds left?  How much distance left?  When will I get to the next milestone-whatever a "milestone" might be?  And I check my breathing.  And I check my stride.  And I look around.  I take in the world.  I think about what I will write.  I think about the next run.  I think about family.  I think about work.  My mind wanders.  

And most of all I thank God for the gift of running.

And I realize how my running is connected to the running of so many others today.  And so many others in the past.  And our human ancestors.  Another part of being something "bigger".  A long history of people who run.  Run to race.  At high schools.  In colleges.  In the olympics.  Run to catch dinner.  Run to be safe.  A whole history.  Survival.  Enjoyment.  

Life.

Spirit.  

The Spirituality of Advent, Day 2, Week 3

Today, I'll be commenting on a post by Metta Integrative Wellness on Facebook.

The post read:

Metta is an "Integrative" wellness center, which means that we provide opportunities to receive combined offerings of holistic and complementary wellness services such as psychotherapy, acupuncture, massage, and more. 

Do you utilize an integrative wellness approach to support your health and well-being? How has this approach enriched your life and your healing journey? We would love to hear from you!

Well, I have an answer. And it has a lot to do with the ways that I seek joy.

I only use a little bit of health care or "alternative" health care. Basically, I go for a massage every once in a while, and I go to the physician when I am ill. I haven't been to a physician for anything preventive in a long time. There will come a time when I will go for Western health care more frequently--when it comes time to get screened for various things on an annual on otherwise regular basis. Maybe some day I will take flu shots more seriously. But right now, I am well.

I am well because of the complete relaxation I allow myself for 90 minutes of massage.

I am well because of an occasional trip to the chiropractor.

I am well because I run.  (On a treadmill at a hotel in London today I ran 10K at 8 min/mile.)

I am well because when I run I run with friends as often as possible. I listen. I speak. I share. I experience the wonders of the world with others.

I am well because I write this blog. It gives me time to think. It gives me a forum to share. It gives me a way to speak out and see if others share the thoughts, feelings, and ideas I have.

I am well because I play music. My bass. My mandolin.

I am well because I occasionally write poetry.

I am well because I attend as many of my children's events as I can. Not all. Unfortunately, that is incredibly difficult with my job. But I attend as many as I can. And after seeing a movie on the flight over, What Maisie Knew, the importance of being there for as many things as possible was re-emphasized. The story was about a child whom neither of her two real parents wanted to slow down their lives for.

I am well because I have a marriage that, while not perfect, brings joy.

I am well because I teach Sunday school.

I am well because I think of myself not just as an individual.  But an individual who is

• part of a family
• part of a church community
• part of a running community
• part of a neighborhood
• part of a university
• part of a school within the university
• part of an office within the school
• part of a blogging community
• part of something bigger than myself

And it is that last part that really brings me to spirituality.  Knowing that there are many things bigger than me that I am a part of.  And trying to figure out what it means.

And to answer the question posed by Metta Wellness--I like to integrate all for my own well-being and joy and hopefully for the well-being and joy of those around me. 

The Spirituality of Advent, Day 1, Week 3

Today, the pink (or as some priests call it "rose-colored") candle on the Advent wreath was lit.  Gaudete Sunday.  The beginning of the week of joy.

And while I am writing this from a British Airways lounge waiting for a flight that is delayed by over two and one-half hours, I have had a day of joy.

Joy of little things.

We got everyone where they needed to be for this morning.  My eight year old was at Patterson Park by 7 AM to get in the ice rink for a game at 8.  And his team won!  He played a great defensive game.

I went to meet a friend to run at the Charm City Run store in Timonium.  I did not have a working cell phone this morning, so I was not able to get the message that the streets were still pretty bad where my friend lives.  As it turned out that was okay.  The streets in Timonium were wet but not icy but I did feel the need to look carefully as the temps were still around 32 degrees.  And once I realized just how many things I had on my to do list before the flight this evening, the lack of someone to run with as a blessing in disguise.  I ran just 3.1 miles in a little under one-half hour rather than 8 or 9 miles.  It just felt good to get my legs going after the race yesterday.  And watching the sky grow light as I took an easy tour around the Timonium/Lutherville area just from the store to Charmuth and Seminary and back again was relaxing.

Then I stopped at Giant on the way home. When I reached home, I had my 14 year old unpack the groceries for me.  I found joy in his ability to identify what I planned for the three meals starting tonight and concluding with the evening of my return on Tuesday.  I also found joy in the fact that when I realized I had forgotten to buy rolls for the steak sandwiches that we served before my ride picked me up tonight, I decided just to whip up some dough.  In less than 10 minutes, we had enough water, yeast, sugar, flour, and salted mixed and kneaded to eventually make six reasonable sized rolls to serve what ended up being open faced steak sandwiches on.  My 14 year old tells me I'm one of the only people who would just do that.  But that shows why baking is such a joy for me and why if I ever get a second tattoo (debateable whether I will or not) it will include breads.  I sometimes feel like Peeta in The Hunger Games--in terms of my ability to make bread.  Not sure I've ever thought of any other similarities.

Then there was the Christmas program.  In all honesty, if our director of religious education ever put it to a vote among catechists, I might just vote to skip Christmas programs for religious education in the future.  But this year we had carols and cookies. And as the director said to me--the kids were cute as anything if nothing else.  A lot of craziness and noise and difficult transitions, but a lot of people sand along and it was just plain fun with a reminder of the real reason for the season.

Then there was mass said by a priest who is 90 years old.  First time I remember seeing him at St Pius and he said a really good mass with a great homily.  More on that tomorrow.

Next we got our tree.  It was an easy choice as this year there was exactly one criterion--narrow.  We found two good candidates within the first minute we were there and quickly made a choice that pleased everyone in my family.  It went up easily with our new (second year) Christmas tree stand.  Some of the moms at ice hockey call it the "marriage saver tree stand" as it is so much easier than the traditional style.

Then, we got to see a great concert of the Wind Orchestra for Peabody Prep.  It was great to see my son and his girlfriend of 2.5 years play again (we just saw them last night too).  They did a great job with the theme from 2001, some songs from the original Star Wars trilogy, songs from Les Miserables, and an incredible clarinet concerto.  More on that later in the week as well.  The other two ensembles that played were also very good.

Finally, making dinner with my eight year old before getting picked up was a blast.  

So many simple things.  And also just appreciating my wife for taking Daniel, for taking Christopher downtown while I dealt with a dead cell phone, for my wife picking up Joshua while I made dinner and got ready to go on my trip.  For my kids in religious education who brought me small gifts.  For the beautiful weather most of the day.  For a trip to Milk and Honey with Sherry and Daniel.  

Joy.  Joy!  JOY!  My heart is filled with joy and I hope it will continue to be.  But a lot of that has to do with me.  Am I ready to take what life gives me and call it joy regardless of what it is?  Obviously some things wouldn't bring joy, but there are many other ways to take the long series of events today that may not be thought of as joy.  I am lucky to see things the way I do.

The Spirituality of Advent, Day 7, Week 2

So, today I ran my first Celtic Solstice 5 Mile run. This was a race where I had few expectations as I had never run a 5 mile race before. The two official 10K races I ran in 2012, the best pace I could manage was a 6:58. Of my recent 5K's, I had managed to pull myself back down to a 6:10. So I figured somewhere in between. My friend and track training partner, Lauren had run a 6:40 pace last year. She wasn't sure she could repeat. One running calculator took my 6:10 from the 5K and projected it to a 6:24 for 5 miles. I set a more realistic goal of an average 6:30 pace for covering 5 miles in 32:30. I even have a text to another training partner to prove it. And so, that is what I went to the race thinking. My preparation was months of speed workouts. My preparation was easing back in after three days this week of not running. My preparation was thinking about the gift God has given me. And to quote Eric Liddell's character in Chariots of Fire as I have before,

I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.

I'm no where near as fast as Eric Liddell.  But God made me fast.  And God made me someone who likes to tell stories.  And God made me someone who likes to connect the dots (which I suppose is just part of the art of telling stories.)  And when you combine all three of those you end up with someone who prepares to run and ponder and write and share.

I got to Druid Hill park and parked at the zoo.  It's around a mile and a half from the zoo to the Stieff Silver building where the race begins.  I walked it to warm up my body.  Good choice.  And after I checked my bag, I saw the circle up.  At every event attended by Back on My Feet runners there is a circle up.  This was no exception.  Great camaraderie.  Great recitation of the Serenity Prayer.  And great to see friends I had not seen in a while.  

Then we lined up to start. One reason I did not stay longer in the warm tent (especially since I ran in shorts today at about 34 degrees!) was that I didn't want to get caught too far back from the start.  So, I ended up in a position that had me walk/jog for 10 seconds from where I was standing until I crossed the timing line.  Not too bad.

While we waited until 8:36 for what was supposed to be an 8:30 start all kinds of things went on.  Some runners nearby were debating which way the timing chip is supposed to face.  Everyone was excited.  And just before the race started, a few guys playing bagpipes came through with all the runners parting like the Red Sea.  They were accompanied by the runners who had done the race every year.  Then things began.

I am not sure whether I hit the button to start and stop my watch twice but as I was cruising along the first mile and feeling pretty good, I eventually heard my watch beeping at me.  This was after the start of the race ascending the hill from Stieff Silver into the park and running on a road I'd never run on before.  Overcast, 34 degrees, no wind.  I couldn't complain.  But the beeping told me my watch was about to go into non-stop watch mode.  That threw me--but not too much as it had happened before and I was hoping to run more by feel today.  Another part of preparation.  Knowing that God is there to take care of me.  Knowing that part of my gift from God is to be able to feel the pace.

So, I restarted my watch at about the 1 mile mark.  My watch didn't match exactly with the mile markers, but I know it is a certified course.  So it should be exactly 5 miles.  I deduced that the first mile was kind of slow--6:43.  My watch had the others at 6:26, 6:22, 6:17, and 6:15 with another 27 seconds before I hit the finish line.  Even dividing the extra 27 seconds over the last four miles in any way, it is clear that not going out too fast was the best thing I could have done for myself!  Negative splits in a 5 miler was helped by the early part being mostly up and the later part being mostly down, but it is a great way to run a race.

As I ran, there were three people whom I was surprised to pass.  I passed someone who had beaten me soundly in a 5K (15 seconds ahead).  I was surprised to pass him in mile 3 and go on to be a minute ahead at the finish.  The other person who beat me in the same 5K beat me soundly again.  Then, I passed one friend who can run faster than me on a good day near the end of mile 3.  But he has not been at his best for a while.  And I was very surprised to pass someone who usually outruns me in everything shorter than 20 mile runs during mile 4.  I didn't lose more than one or two places in the last mile.

And I ended up with exactly what I predicted.  I never have done that before.  And that was despite my watch problems.  

So what did I learn?  Physical preparation helps.  Especially when I was running the last mile and a half and just asking--when will it be over?  I knew I had done workouts nearly as challenging and there was no reason to give in.

Being at ease spiritually certainly helps.  I went in knowing what a gift today was.  The gift of a Saturday morning without other responsibilities.  The gift of reasonable weather.  The gift of no snow.  The gift of good friends.  And the gift of legs to carry me at a pace that was my best 5K pace as recently as September 2012.

Having people you know to chase helps.  I won't always beat them.  But having people around me whom I know and can try to catch really does help.

Have a course I am reasonably familiar with helps.  Just another part of preparation.

So I end this week with many blessings.  The blessing of having shared a bit about my faith and its meaning as evidenced in the Advent Wreath.  The blessing of having had a great run.  The blessing of having had someone return my iPhone holder with my JHU ID.  The blessing of having joined with friends for a wonderful wine tasting this afternoon.  The blessing of having heard my son play in a concert incredibly well.  And the blessing of just having the chance to do so much of what makes me who I am.  

That is the greatest blessing of all.  To have a weekend that let me be me.  In all that I do.  And in all that I have a chance to appreciate.  

For that, I thank those around me.  Friends from work.  Friends from my kids school.  Fellow runners.  Fellow bloggers.  People who took pictures.  My boys.  My wife.

What a wonderful way to transition from preparation to joy--the third candle on the advent wreath.  

The Spirituality of Advent, Day 6, Week 2

Today's entry is about preparation in a way that I had not been prepared for.  This goes to show that despite the best and most explicit plans (like writing at the start of the week what I had intended to write about for the whole week) sometimes there are spiritual connections made that come from places we never expect.

In some ways, today's entry will sound like it could be used as a motivation for the entire series or spirituality of Advent writings.  In other ways, what I will be writing about tonight will read like it could be a summary of the entire spiritual experience.  However, I have arrived at this point in the middle of this spiritual exploration of Advent.

Today was the annual Festival of Lights at the Waldorf School of Baltimore.  This is a festival each year that celebrates the many festival of lights that occur at this time of year.  This includes Advent, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa.  Each year a family gets to light the Advent wreath and the Hanukah candles.  This year, the small eighth grade class lit the candles for Kwanzaa.  This year, my family was chosen to light the Advent Wreath.

In the middle of the afternoon, my wife wrote me an email to remind me that I should have my "speech" ready as the spokesperson for the family.  I had thought about what I would say, but this was a clear reminder to me to be prepared for the evening.  Nice to fit into the theme of the week of the candle of preparation.

As the time for the start of the Festival of Lights, I wrote the following on the program for the event:

Pre-Christian
Christian
My Evolution
Prophecy-Hope
Bethlehem-Preparation
Shepherd-Joy
Angel-Love

For this list, I was borrowing directly from http://livinghopeomaha.wordpress.com/about-living-hope/bible-stud/the-meaning-of-the-advent-wreath/http://livinghopeomaha.wordpress.com/about-living-hope/bible-stud/the-meaning-of-the-advent-wreath/.

And here is a paraphrase of what I said:

Tonight, my family has been asked to light the Advent wreath.  If we look at the history of the Advent wreath, there is at least some evidence suggesting that it originated in pre-Christian times.  People lighting fires to bring back the light at the darkest time of year.  Then, Christianity adapted it with symbols of Christ rather than simply avoiding darkness.  

The evolution of the Advent wreath through history reminds me of the evolution of my own understanding.  The wreath here has candles that are all one color.  But sometimes they are two colors.  When I was Daniel and Joshua's ages [they were at the table with the wreath with me and Sherry] all I knew about the third candle which is a different color was that it meant that Advent was almost done.

When I was a little older than my oldest son Christopher, who is not here this evening, and I began to take my faith a little more seriously, I had the experience of the third week of Advent with the entire Catholic community where I attended college being brought together in a single mass to celebrate the joy of the week. 

As I got even more mature and took my faith even more seriously, I realized that there is a rhythm to the meaning of the candles.  There are many different interpretations to what the candles mean.  One that I find useful is the following:

The first candle is for Prophecy and Hope.  The hope for something new and something better as Christians wait for the celebration of the birth of their Savior.

The second is for Bethlehem and Preparation.  Preparation for the birth of the Savior in Bethlehem.

The third is the Shepherds and Joy.  A reminder that the joy was first shared with the shepherds--among the least of those who worshipped God [I felt like I was channeling Father Sam Lupico who loves to point out that most of Jesus's positive interactions with individuals other than his apostles was with those at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder at the time.]

The final candle is for the Angle and Love.  The angel who announced the birth of Jesus.

And whether Christian or non-Christian, the unifying and universal truths of Hope, Preparation, Joy, and Love are things that are worth all of us pondering.

Numerous people told me they liked what I shared.  The mother in the family that lit the Hanukah handles told me that my description of my own experience inspired her to talk about her family's experience.  The one thing that really made an impression on me was that she comments on a blessing that thanked God for the miracles of old and miracles of today.  And she invited all of us to think of a miracle in our lives right now.  I had not realized that I would inspire a second story about the universal nature of the positive values that come through the celebration of the various celebrations of light at this time of year.

Are beliefs interchangeable?  No.

Can everyone possibly be right?  No.

But everyone probably has some kernel of the truth.  And everyone can benefit from the interconnectedness.

The key for me is that spirituality is separate from religion.  Spirituality is driven by the sense of interconnectedness.  Spirituality is driven by the sense that I am a part of something much bigger.  Some call the higher power God.  Some just refer to it as a higher power.  I'm not one to worry about what each person around me calls it.  But I am a person who believes that the interconnectedness that I feel is something special.  A blessing.  A challenge.  And something that helps me to move forward in the most productive manner.      

The Spirituality of Advent, Day 5, Week 2

Today, I will write about preparation for teaching and how that relates to spirituality.  To prepare to teach I have to do a number of things: master the subject I am teaching, know something about the students I am teaching, and determine the best way to reach the students.

To master the subject I am teaching is really subjective.  Some things that I teach, I have truly mastered.  Others, I know just a bit more than my students.  Regardless, I have to know something.  And in a spirituality sense, this is like making sure that I understand even what it is that I am searching for when it comes to spirituality.  What is spirituality?  Why do I care?  I have to be in touch with myself enough to know when I know enough to feel comfortable.  For spirituality, I have to know when I can look deep enough for it to matter.

Second, I must understand something about those whom I teach.  This means understanding their interest.  Understanding their motivation.  Understanding what they know.  Even understanding how they learn.  Understanding what I can learn from them.  Do they ask questions?  Do they just sit and listen?  Do they benefit from movement?  Do they benefit from competition?  In the sense of spirituality this means being in touch with the other side.  What am I reaching for?  What might I gain from others?  What do I want to share with others?  What do others want to share with me?  What does being part of a spiritual community mean?

Third, I must plan.  Different activities.  Different communication.  Different questions.  Different discussions.  Different prompts.  Different expressions.  Here the connection to spirituality is actually quite simple.  All of these matter.  I need to do different things to experience spirituality.  It only involves going to church sometimes.  I am as likely to experience spirituality on the NCR trail or running around the lake at Druid Hill Park at sunrise.  I like to write.  I play music, sometimes.  Sometimes I write prose.  Sometimes I write poetry.  Sometimes I just ponder.  Sometimes I pray.  I ask myself and the members of my spiritual community different questions.   I have needs for different discussions at different times.

And all of this can be in preparation for spiritual experiences in general.

And all of this helps to prepare me for the spiritual celebration of the coming of Jesus.