A Question from My Eight Year Old

My eight year old asked me a question this evening that really reflects how my home life has evolved in my six months on this new job.  Time was, seven months ago, when I was "just" a faculty member that most days I would wrap up between 5 and 5:30, be home my 6, have dinner on the table by 6:30, participate in getting my youngest ready for bed, and then have a bit of time with him--only to do dishes and more work afterwards.  And for the most part my "work work" at home came either very late at night or very early in the morning.  When my youngest was younger, he would tolerate my working (particularly on email) while talking with him or doing something else with him.  I didn't have to give him 100% of my attention.

In the time that I have held my new job (since April 1), I have worked later many days, but when I work later I tend to be "done" when I get home.  I do some work in the evening.  I do some in the early morning (particularly now that my youngest doesn't tend to get up quite as early as he used to).  The key has been that I have not had to make a choice between work and him while at home much in the past six months.  While being at work longer is disruptive, the pattern of not then making the choice of what to do at home clear to him has really taken hold.

So, this evening, I happened to be home early.  I had a meeting away from the Business School in the middle of the afternoon and decided to go home next.  That allowed me to have dinner on the table so we did not need to spend money on an unnecessary meal out before my wife and middle son went for his first livestock lesson as part of a 4H activity.  I told my youngest that after I ran to the grocery story, I could read extra to him.  We are reading a book that flows nicely and reads easily about a middle school kid playing football.  And this is a chapter book that is really holding my son's attention.

When I got back from the grocery story he was sorting rubber bands for his loom.  He really enjoys that activity and thought we could wait to read until he was done.  Not a bad idea.  However, when he was ready, he expected me to be ready.  I was working on an email or two and he asked me, "Who are you emailing who is more important than me?"  I was surprised to hear that but it did make me realize how different our rhythm of life has become over the past six months.  And while I may have fewer hours at home (particularly in a week like this one with two dinners and an evening class to teach) the expectation is that when I am home I am home.

Interestingly enough, my son's attitude actually matches my boss's attitude in two ways.  First, my boss claims that he doesn't carry much to and from work because he likes to separate the two.  I believe him for the most part.  And second he likes to always remind us, "More, Better, Faster".  My sons is super competitive and focuses on all three of those all the time.

So, maybe with my son and my boss sending the same signal, the key will be to continue to work on the question of how to get work done at work and have home time at home more of a reality while trying to balance things in my life.  Not simple.  But a good aspirtion.  

40 Days to Better: Day 24

Today was not a day for running.  Did I plan for it to start that way?  Not really.  I had only thought about running 4, 5, or 6 miles but in the end there were too many other things to do.  And along the way through today, I had the opportunity to make an impression on people.  Is that necessarily a good thing?  Maybe--as long as I get people's attention for the right reason and when I need to.

I started the day preparing two loaves of pumpkin bread using an online recipe.  The recipe was one that I had made several times last fall but had not made since then.  The kids enjoyed the recipe and I took one loaf to work.  A colleague told me it was the talk of the staff this morning.  Perhaps it was just to flatter someone with a high level administrative position.  But she did ask for the recipe, too.  That was a nice way to make an impression on colleagues.

Second, the pizza dough that I made this morning.  It was half whole wheat.  It has a chance to rise for more than an hour before I went to work and rather than refrigerating it, I left it out all day.  So, thanks to some help from my seventeen year old, we had a pizza with sour dough like crust that was a bit more flavorful than normal topped with a combination of ricotta, Parmesan, and mozzarella.  It was really yummy.  And even Sherry said that it was exceptionally good--especially the cheese.  I make pizza all the time, but it was nice to get a compliment about the quality of the white pizza.

Finally, after an issue at work today, I sent an email to a colleague using a subject line that was stronger than I usually use.  This was one way to get the attention of a colleague whose attention I needed in a relatively immediate way.  She even commented that my choice of subject lines was certainly enough to get someone's attention.  I commented back that after six months at my new job, I had learned how to communicate with people in a way to get their attention when needed.  The subject was one for which I wish I did not have to draw my colleague's attention.  But I knew how to get it effectively.

So, in one day I had three specific mentions of getting people's attention.  Two were very positive and just by good fortune.  One was negative but necessary and effective.  Using the skill of getting people's attention is valuable.  It is important in the workplace.  It is important with students.  It is important in family life.  It is important when I teach Sunday school.  So many situations.  So many needs for people's attention.  So many ways to get people's attention.  And a skill that I can usefully continue to improve.