40 Days to Better: Day 24

Today was not a day for running.  Did I plan for it to start that way?  Not really.  I had only thought about running 4, 5, or 6 miles but in the end there were too many other things to do.  And along the way through today, I had the opportunity to make an impression on people.  Is that necessarily a good thing?  Maybe--as long as I get people's attention for the right reason and when I need to.

I started the day preparing two loaves of pumpkin bread using an online recipe.  The recipe was one that I had made several times last fall but had not made since then.  The kids enjoyed the recipe and I took one loaf to work.  A colleague told me it was the talk of the staff this morning.  Perhaps it was just to flatter someone with a high level administrative position.  But she did ask for the recipe, too.  That was a nice way to make an impression on colleagues.

Second, the pizza dough that I made this morning.  It was half whole wheat.  It has a chance to rise for more than an hour before I went to work and rather than refrigerating it, I left it out all day.  So, thanks to some help from my seventeen year old, we had a pizza with sour dough like crust that was a bit more flavorful than normal topped with a combination of ricotta, Parmesan, and mozzarella.  It was really yummy.  And even Sherry said that it was exceptionally good--especially the cheese.  I make pizza all the time, but it was nice to get a compliment about the quality of the white pizza.

Finally, after an issue at work today, I sent an email to a colleague using a subject line that was stronger than I usually use.  This was one way to get the attention of a colleague whose attention I needed in a relatively immediate way.  She even commented that my choice of subject lines was certainly enough to get someone's attention.  I commented back that after six months at my new job, I had learned how to communicate with people in a way to get their attention when needed.  The subject was one for which I wish I did not have to draw my colleague's attention.  But I knew how to get it effectively.

So, in one day I had three specific mentions of getting people's attention.  Two were very positive and just by good fortune.  One was negative but necessary and effective.  Using the skill of getting people's attention is valuable.  It is important in the workplace.  It is important with students.  It is important in family life.  It is important when I teach Sunday school.  So many situations.  So many needs for people's attention.  So many ways to get people's attention.  And a skill that I can usefully continue to improve.     

40 Days to Better: Day 11

Today, I have not run yet.  However, I have been in a writing groove, and, I wanted to write before I run.  Plus, despite being almost mid-September, it is still pretty warm outside and I am not looking forward to today's run very much.  I will probably end up just doing about 5 relatively easy miles.  So it goes.

In any case, I want to write a brief post today.  Yesterday, I talked about surrounding myself with people who are committed to my pursuits.  And I finished with an explanation that the people who have been committed to helping me think about my personal life and the main issues in it are those who clearly have a sense of their own value, who are valued by others, and who place a value on others.  

The (to me) interesting follow-up question is how on earth does any of us show that sense of value?

I think that one clear way is by paying attention.

Even better is giving undivided attention.

That attention can be in big things like going for dinner with Sherry and without the boys.

That attention can be in little and mundane things like walking the dog together in the evening.

That attention can be listening while making dinner or doing any number of other chores to keep the household running.

That attention can be when I get home from work and have something about dinner started and may need to continue, but I take some time to listen to Sherry or one of my kids rather than just pushing onward.

That attention can be to a friend while running.

That attention in the workplace can be welcoming someone new.

That attention can take so many forms.  But the key is to make it clear to the one to whom the attention is being given.

I need to pay attention and I need to let the person know I am paying attention.

Then, the relationship can grow.  

Marriage continues to grow.

Friendships and collegiality grow.  

Attention in a relationship is like water and light for a garden.  And my road to better will be paved not with (as in the proverbial expression on the road to hell) good intentions, but with good attention to those to whom I want to show value as I continue my own personal and professional development.   

What Matters?

Back on January 20, I reflected on a homily and asked why people are not as excited about God as about Ray Lewis.  With all respect to a person who is one of the best at the position he played for 17 years, I have to ask: so what?  And this is reflecting comments from my wife and from the director of religious education at my church on Facebook yesterday.

Why did tens of thousands take time out for a parade and gathering?  So a bunch of player were deemed the best at what they do as a team among a group of professional teams.  Why does it matter?

And why does it matter more than anyone else who is among the best at what they do?  If we had a Nobel prize winning scientist at JHU, would they get a parade from City Hall to the hospital or the Homewood campus?  Probably not.

And, do we only need to recognize people who are among the best at what they do?  I don't think so. What about people who have achieved milestones in their own lives.  Each residential member of Back on My Feet who breaks the cycle that brought them to a facility in the first place.  Each runner who sets a goal of running a marathon and achieves it.  Each physician who helps someone overcome or manage a condition.  Each person who loses five pounds.

I suppose that not all achievements are equal.  What I wonder is why we, as a society, put so much value on some achievements and so little on others.  I don't have a good answer.  As an economist, I would say there is a market and the market rewards what is deemed to be worthy.  I just wonder why we deem to be worthy a bunch of guys on a football field and not the people who help to education and raise our children--at least not at the same level.  If a city improves, why are its leaders not just as worthy.  And I listed other examples above.

I am not here to judge what other people should find worthy.  (If I had commented on today's readings one thing that caught my attention was a statement about striving for peace with everyone, so I am not trying to get on anyone's case.)  I am just saying that I don't understand why we as a society think certain things deserve so much more attention and fanfare.