This morning I chose NOT to run

This morning I chose not to run.  I was ready to.  I had gotten up very early.  I had done more than an hour of work.  I had calculated that today would put me over 1500 miles for the year.  I had made buttermilk biscuits.  I had told the dog she could wait until I got back.

But I chose not to run.  

And even non-running days are part of the spiritual pilgrimage that I am on.

Why?

Because two and one-half weeks ago when I chose to run despite having a million things on my mind I ended up falling and having to wear a wrist brace for four weeks.

So, today, when I was taking the buttermilk biscuits out of the oven, I set them on the stove.  Problem was, they were too close to the edge.  Potholder hanging on a hook near the stove.  Hook was upside down.  Tipped the potholder.  Down it fell onto the pan.  Using a lightyweight metal pan rather than stone, it tipped and flipped all 20 biscuits onto the floor.  The dog got a treat.  I was almost ready to cry.

Why?

20 biscuits.  Not the greatest thing but not the end of the world.

But it was after a very long day.

The day was great for most of it.

I started with a 12 mile run with three friends.  Met one on the way.  Picked up her and she was surprised that I had a country music station on.  Got out of the car at my office building and ran through down town, up to Charles Village, across to Lake Montebello, and into vairous sections of east Baltimore.

Great run.

No mass this Sunday morning as I had gone on Saturday.  That day, one of the readings was Rom 13:8-10.  In reading this, where Paul summarized basically all the commandments that focus on how to treat others (as opposed to those that focus on our relationship with God), I realized that there is at least one thing I share in common with him.  Connecting the dots.  Seeing the relationship among the others-oriented commandments and saying "Love your neighbor as yourself."  It's that simple.  That is my kind of thinking for how to connect dots and nourish my soul.

We also had our annual block party yesterday.  And while I was just as happy for much of it to peopel watch and listen to good music, I did enjoy talking with several neighbors and eat good food.  

We also had the ice hockey kickoff celebration.  That was a lot of fun.

But two things were on my mind from yesterday.  First, my long time training partner thinks that she might be hanging up the running shoes.  I say thinks because it is hard to tell when a person is truly done.  But she has had so many injuries that just never seem to end that she is ready to be done.  We will see.  I know how much it is a part of her identity.  When that is true, it is hard to part with an activity.  

Second, a runner I'd just met this summer lost her life in a motorcyle accident yesterday.  She had run 50 races between her 49th and 50th birthdays.  Amazing and positive person.  Known to many in the local running community.

Two running losses.  One closer to me given how long I've known the two individuals.  One more immediate in terms of the total loss.

Those were on my mind.  Maybe they contributed to losing the biscuits as well.

But one way or another, it was clear that my mind was not 100% on running.  

So I chose not to run.

So, the dog got two treats this morning--my homemade biscuits to eat and an extra long walk where I didn't even take my cell phone with me so I could just focus on being safe.

Tomorrow I will run again.

There will be many days for me to run again.

And I will respect my training partner and friend most by running--and celebrating what we all love.  Even though at least one and possibly both will never celebrate that for herself again.   

Back to Reflections--Judging a Heart

It has been several days since I've blogged.  In that time I've done two runs and taken a number of days off.  Monday was a planned day off.  Tuesday was a track on the treadmill run a mile shorter than planned as something tightened up.  That put me up to 240 miles at the end of six weeks.  Right on schedule.  Wednesday was a planned day off.  Thursday everything was a mess because of snow and I did not even leave the house except to shovel.  So I took an unplanned (but predicted) rest day.  Then today, the snow was still bad enough to cancel school and keep the University closed.  However, by afternoon the roads were better.  I ran 12 on the treadmill (5 at 8 min/mile and 7 at 8:34/mile with a slight incline).  That felt good.  That puts me up to 252 miles.  I am on US Route 40 headed west and near the border of Pennsylvania and West Virginia.

One reason I did not write was because the death of a friend's daughter.  26 years old.  Married.  Sudden.  Complication from acute leukemia.  Massive stroke.  Prognosis not good from the time it occurred.  Gone in less than a day.  Complete and total devastation.  

I could not imagine this happening to one of my sons some day. Hopefully I won't have to.

The key here is what happened afterwards.  I know the parents from a training group with one of the local running stores.  Everyone in the group was nice.  They were among the nicest.  I knew the woman a little better as we had some overlapping professional interests as well as the common interest in running.

The number of people from the running group who expressed sympathy on social media was amazing.  Of course, the number of people in general who expressed sympathy was amazing.  The parents touched many lives.  And many people felt the need to give some emotional connection back

Then there is the daughter's page.  She did not have tight privacy settings.  There was an outpouring of emotion there as well.

It was heartbreaking.  And yet it was also uplifting.

Then, today, a friend posts a quote from the Wizard of Oz.  In the movie, the Wizard says to the Tin Man, "A heart is judged not by not by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."  I didn't know the daughter.  I know the parents showed amazing love.  But I know from what I have seen since the young woman passed away unexpectedly that she and her family all had big hearts.  They were obviously loved greatly by many others.

Knowing the parents in this family through running means that I am joined with them in having a physically strong heart.  I can only hope that when my time comes to die that my heart will be judged to have been as strong emotionally in being loved by others.

As an aside since today is also Valentine's Day, I may have truly surprised my wife for once.  (Or at least more than I did when I proposed to her back in the spring of 1991.)  I ordered flowers to be delivered to the hotel where she ended her day today with my son and his girlfriend.  The two kids will be auditioning at Oberlin tomorrow.  Since we could not spend Valentine's evening together we had actually had dinner earlier this week.  But I thought it would be nice to get flowers in shades of her favorite color to brighten her weekend after a long drive.  She sounded truly surprised when she called.  My son and his girlfriend knew and took a picture and sent it to me when they arrived.  So, that is a good sign of just how intertwined and happy our two hearts are.