(Written Sunday.
Today there is not much to say other than that I ran 5 miles at a pace
just above 9 minutes per mile. Total
miles on virtual pilgrimage: 1552.)
This weekend, those who knew NyAnn were asked to post a
picture of themselves running. So, I
don’t usually take as any pictures of myself as some other running bloggers do
while I am running (or have friends who take pictures of me as much), but today
I stopped in three places for pictures.
On my run, I consumed a Gu and I left my home and ran up York Rd, around the Towson
by pass, and back onto York Rd to go up to the Charm City Run store in
Timonium/Lutherville. 
I stopped once
before I got to the store in front of a church that has an electronic sign that
shows the time and temperature. That was
to show that it was actually a wonderful 53 degrees this morning when I was 4.3
miles into my run. 
Then, I took a
picture in front of Charm City Run—my favorite running store. I passed a Dunkin' Donuts along the way--never smelled so good. At that point, I turned more or less back
toward home. Run over to Charmuth and
took it all the way to Dulaney. The hill
as Charmuth ends at Dulaney is coming easier now. Down Dulaney to Goucher. To Joppa.
To Loch Raven.
Going down Loch
Raven I had to make a pit stop. It has
been a LONG time since I have had to make such a stop. But at 12.25 miles, I was not going to make
it another 5.75 without stopping.
Consumed my Stinger. Ran past the IHOP--more amazing smells. And much to
my surprise (and delight) I was able to get myself back to my target speed
(which was faster than I had run so far).
I had not always been able to do that in the past. Then, at mile 16 I hit a major hill and
slowed own but was able to get going again for miles 17 and 18 to be my
fastest.
What did my splits look like?
8:19, 7:57, 8:01, 7:49, 7:46, 7:59,
7:39, 7:57, 7:52, 7:45, 7:33, 7:37
7:28, 7:28, 7:26, 7:49, 7:22, 7:22
I have thought a lot about why I run over the past few
weeks. It is clearly a very important
part of my life. It is clear that I care
a lot about it. It is clear that it
helps to keep me goal driven. It is
clear that it shows my dedication and focus and drive and commitment that I
like to think characterizes me in general.
My work. My parenting. My
marriage. Sometimes, I feel that the
pressures to be as dedicated and focused and driven at everything make this
tough. But it is the goal. Sometimes I fear it doesn’t shoe in other
things as it shows in my running. But I
try.
The fact that I was able to overcome a stop and a hill to go
fast again shows that something has fundamentally changed for me. Maybe it is mental. Maybe it has to do with thinking about NyAnn
and how hard she ran and the fact that she can never run again. And
appreciating that I can run. Maybe it
has to do with my primary running partner for three years and thinking about
how hard it will be for her to come back to running at some point and
appreciating that I can still run.
Maybe it is spiritual. A greater connection with my tattoo
than ever. St. Sebastian never gave
up. He just kept going and was
essentially martyred twice. I write a
lot about the women in the tattoo. She
in many ways seems primary as the tattoo was designed. The area covered by her dress and the single
color dominates the scene. That was be
design and it is fine. But the base is
St. Sebastian. He was the one who was ultimately
martyred. I do not associate what I am
doing with martyrdom, but I do relate to
the fact that he kept going despite understanding the expected consequences of
continuing on his path. Nothing could
stop him. Why should I let anything stop
me in my goal to reach a marathon time?
Wherever I draw strength from it is there.
And maybe it is physical.
That my training is being guided by a new plan. A harder plan. A more difficulty plan. A plan with more miles at higher speeds that
makes a difference. I can get over the
hill and not feel like I have lost the battle when I get to the top. No, I have won the battle and now it is time
to press on for more. To go for the
win! (To quote my boss.) Whatever the combination, it is fundamentally
different than in the past and it bodes well for the marathon in Philly.
I have not commented on the virtual pilgrimage aspect in a
while. I am now at 1547 miles on my
pilgrimage. I am in Oklahoma. The last major town I would have passed is
Guymon, Oklahoma. The Catholic church
there is St. Peters. I have commented on
St. Peter before. What does he bring to
mind today? Leadership. He was the first head of the church, after
all. And I think about being a
leader. I think about the many different
ways of being a leader. I think about
the roles of leadership. Teaching a
class is leading. Raising kids is
leading. Organizing an informal running
group is leading. My job is
leading. I look for more
opportunities. To prepare for
leadership, Peter followed Jesus and was given an assignment that he may or may
not have been looking for. I know that I
am looking for more leadership opportunities moving forward. I hope that I will be good a them. And I hope that all the lessons I take from
running—dedication, focus, drive, commitment, going for the win—show up in my
leadership too.
One more quick reflection. In yesterday's readings for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (explained in detail by Fr. Sam) he talked about power coming from knowing the people--downward mobility as he called it. I hope that if I ever get to be Dean or Provost, I don't forget that I was one of the people.
